Hello, Friends (acquaintances, actually),
I am thick-headed, soft-hearted, and don't think correctly too often. Since my wife has Alzheimer's/Dementia/Aphasia, family, church friends, and friends disengaged with us and in frantic, ill-conceived attempts to get help and companionship and even a sexual relationship (outside marriage) have taken me down a path filled with mistakes, vulnerable to scammers, and desperate to try anything to get help that I now realize is an exercise in futility.
I now understand that if family, church friends, and friends left my wife's care up to me alone, I could not expect strangers (even paid people) to do the same level of care I can only give her. My state or condition is irrelevant; she is the only one who counts. Thirty-nine years of a monogamous good marriage deserves my care for her. I simply must. I must do better and not allow my needs and wants to interfere with her care.
I see I am not a master, not even a piss-poor Dom; I am just a man in one of life's tests and struggles. I may have experienced true happiness for about six years out of my seventy-six-plus years of existence. The obstacle to my true, long-lasting happiness? ME.
Unless you are in my shoes, you can not know what this life is like for me.
