How beautifull it is to realize another world exists where you fit better. Those times throughout your entier life when you feel out of place.
It takes alot to admit to yourself that your just not emotionally strong enough for the people your around. Men encourage you to get back out there and ask her out, only to do the walk of shame yet again, as you slip into the friend zone or are completely turned down. All your friends start to wonder who you are. Lol!
Or they would say things like, "how are you not gay?" The questions that start to take a humorus tone, as no one can understand the fog of confussion you live in. "You know when I find out ill be sure to let you know". Then ther are the straight men that start to look at you kind of sexually, and you laugh to yourself and think, "I need to get the fuck out of here" hahahaha!
The one thing that makes you stronger is your ability to be strong on your own, as others form their relationships that grow and break over and over. You are there to have fun with them when they are single, and you know all too well how to make them feel better. You want to bring a smile back to their faces.
Lying in bed at night becomes the refuge from the day. You hide the fact that you would thrive to be held tightly in someones arms. Eww not a man, please not a man holding me! Lol. Its a womens touch you crave so badly it brings tears to your eyes.
To be held in her embrace. To hear her heartbeat in your ear as you lay gently on her chest. The smell of her hair relaxing your nerves, and the rise and fall of her breathing make you forget you were ever a seporate person, as your eyes slowly close thourougly content with who you are.
Then you wake up in the morning vulnerable, and lonely once again. Thinking how rediculus your fantacies make you! You put your armour on and ROAR at the world. "I will rock this entier fucking planet if I have to but I swear to god ill never fucking give up!"
