Right now I am focusing on accomplishing my financial and education goals.
My last submissive did not want to be involved because of this. She had a bit of a brat/little side to her, but we were firm on that not being a driving element in this dynamic. Being childish is different from being stubborn.
I now have an understanding why.
She had wasted her college years with little to no awareness of finances or a set budget.
When I was trying to suggest a budget, she kept taking it personally and after the break up, she admitted she was uncomfortable, a little jealous, and feeling overwhelmed when the gap (between where she should be and where she is in life) was put on paper.
I was comforting and respectful, the same way I am with anyone who asks me to help with their stock, property or personal finance portfolio. I explained that I would be more than willing to structure and guide, but her internal struggles kept bubbling to the surface and I came to the realization that I was facing something more than just the issue at hand.
It took three weeks for her to tell me that her family business was failing and she kept this to herself because......reasons.
I went back to the base communication efforts. Before we have a dynamic, we have to be stable and trusting of one another. Like checking the vehicle before taking on the challenges of driving in bad weather and traffic.
It doesn't feel like either of us failed, there are just a lot of unanswered questions and a stubborn unwillingness to bring that to the table. After this, I think I will avoid brat littles. I operate better with someone who understands life responsibilities and builds their expectations of our dynamic from there. Not the other way around.
