This post was mostly just a time killer rant for me. Just waiting on standby and ranting.
I have been a straight dom throughout this entire experience.
I went to a kink club in tampa. My sub felt ill and went back to our place. I stayed for a bit and mingled. There was a guy just sitting by himself in the corner. Pale white, swimmer build, about 5'7 with dirty blonde hair. I noticed he had a raiders wristband, so we connected. We chatted for a bit and he was super up beat. We talked about console games for a while and then got around to how we both ended up in Tampa. He went and bought both of us drinks and came back with a smoke for both of us.
After a while, he got around to how he had been stood up and kicked out of his folks house. He came out to his parents, and to his surprise his dad was understanding but his mother wanted him gone. She took back his car and sold it. He then moved in with his dom, who had stood him up tonight and asked him to move out.
Then he went back to asking me how I passed a certain raid in a game because he could never get past it. I asked what he does for a living...........digital nomad. Savings of 22k. I offered the spare bedroom at my place and we lived together and I was his fin dom for almost a year. I built him his own stock portfolio, set up auto pay for his bills and cut off all those pesky subscriptions. Taught him how to cook, fix cars and other basic life skills that many people expect from each other but aren't willing to sit down and teach.
We never did anything physical but I noticed that he was severely lacking in social and mental discipline. At this point I realized that we have loads of people just going through the motions of adulthood without actually maturing insight, independence and a sense of responsibility. Reach out and help people. You all know someone who is lacking, it doesn't cost one cent to sit them down and help build a plan based on what you have learned.
As an adult, we should be mindful of contributing to our neighbors and community. You would be surprised how far a 20 minute real conversation can get. I continued on with dating and engaging with female subs and recognized that I had to separate their lack of experience with bsdm FROM their lack of knowledge of how to operate as an adult in the real world.
Now, what does this have to do with the CAGE? I have seen the following posts:
1. Doms posting about immature and inexperienced subs who collapse the dynamic.
2. Subs posting about neglectful and inconsistent doms.
Solution: Separate the core issues in your experience (as a dom/sub) by their origin and level of other people's involvement. Recognize your short comings and what type of person you would balance well with. Just shouting out your kinks with no substance about you, what you do for a living or what you look like is ineffective. Give some fertile soil for seeds of potential to grow.
