My most recent interaction with a sub kind of hit me with a glass slipper. From the very start she was clear that her goal was marriage. Personally, she was nice. Smart. No kids. Consistent with communication. Had a deeper understanding of dom/sub dynamics.
Logistically. She was In debt. Working an entry level position. Hadn't finished her degree and so on and so on.
From my standpoint. The current status, statistics and environment of modern marriage is not ideal for any type of growth. I was clear that I would only consider marriage if there was a plan for advancement, maturity and stability on both sides. She repeatedly inquired about my emotional state and my feelings toward her.
I was honest and she was unsatisfied. Considering the fact that I deploy a lot for my job and she was starting a new career. I understood.
Now I'm back on the scene. But I'm starting to question aspects of this whole setup. The doms pursue, court, and entice. While subs sift through truck loads of messages expecting their dream dom to drop from the sky. That process is flawed and broken in so many ways. For those who say "that's how it's supposed to be." I ask you, has the result been what you desire?
I am near exhausted sorting through profiles that are:
1. long winded with no physical description or pictures.
2. Blank with just a picture of a bdsm pop quiz result and some deep quote bullshitm
3. An entire profile dedicated to being a detailed dossier on all of the disappointments and heartbreaks.
......
I'm usually upbeat and rolling with the punches. But today just really hit below the belt. But I will take it for it is and try again tomorrow. Because the one for me isnt just going to fall out of the sky. I have to find her while she is trying to find me. She will work, communicate and reach out in response to my efforts and we will build up from there.
I believe in that. I believe in genuine grit more than I believe in fate. I hope that people who are tired or bored see this and remind themselves what they are going through the grind for. And if what you're doing isn't working, try something new. Don't just be on the defensive. Attack, blitz, flank, and adapt your strategies to win.
