The Belly

The long story of how I was a head of household, dom, daddy, and master to 7 subs. This was not by choice. I almost went homeless. It was stressful beyond all measure. And I will forever be glad I went through this. Late 2011 to 2013, I had my own place in Berlin and a soldier's room in Bayern. 

Start point: Germany. I dated a woman nicknamed OM. OM was a tall, slender brunette with a sharp eye for bad posture and designer licorice. 

We went to a nightclub that doubled as a BDSM club downstairs. This was my first time in a big German nightclub (aside from Pearls and the WON). Also, my first time seeing people just having sex under the floor I was standing on. 

From the standpoint of rough sex in porn, these people seemed... normal. For all the whips, chains, and handcuffs, most people were just laying in bed together having regular sex with a toy or two. Maybe it isn't all about the crazy bendy bends and whippety whips.There was something weirdly....primal and comforting about knowing people were preoccupied with their deepest desires that they shared with their trusted partner (from life or for the night). Therefore, in certain ways. I'm invisible. Until I choose not to be. 

I made friends, went back a couple of times with OM. Then there was a special event.

In the early winter months, Germany has a BUNCH of film festivals. Which usually attracts young female actresses, directors, writers, and so on. 

Perfect time for a predatory domme/dom to look for a broke, naive sub, who speaks 3 languages and has a passport.

Ladies (and people), use a VPN, never stay in hostels. They have all-female accommodations in almost every major city. Only drink from closed glass bottles. Never drink from paper, plastic, or open container when traveling abroad. When you do have a glass container, check the lid and bottom. 

Social media warnings are abound in every news outlet. Here’s a new one: Watch how your social media networks are connected. 

Xbox or Instagram then Facebook then Google then Instagram then Google maps and boom. I know where you are. 

I am 6 foot in combat boots, bearded, vet, can down 6 german beers and I was roofied a total of 6 times in Germany. 4 of my girlfriends were drugged while with me in a club. And a lot of my friends (especially black soldiers) got the same treatment. Roofies in Germany are like Vicodin in the US. 

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Anyway, film festivals, new subs, Germany. OM has to go out of town on business. I agree to stay in Berlin. 

Now, at the same time, the US Armed Forces invested millions into human trafficking prevention. 

___please read:

• Germany is a source, transit, and destination country for women, children, and men subjected to sex trafficking and forced labor. Approximately 85 percent of identified victims of sex trafficking originated in Europe, including 20 percent from within Germany, 20 percent from Romania, and 19 percent from Bulgaria. Non-European victims originated in Nigeria, other parts of Africa, Asia, and the Western Hemisphere. The majority of sex trafficking victims have been exploited in bars, brothels, and apartments – approximately 36 percent of identified sex trafficking victims reported that they had agreed initially to engage in prostitution. Young German women were sometimes coerced into sex trafficking by purported boyfriends in "loverboy" schemes. Nigerian victims of trafficking are often coerced into prostitution through voodoo rituals. Victims of forced labor have been identified in hotels, domestic service, construction sites, meat processing plants, and restaurants. Members of ethnic minorities, such as Roma, as well as foreign unaccompanied minors who arrived in Germany, were particularly vulnerable to human trafficking. Individuals with disabilities, including those hard of hearing, were vulnerable to forced labor. NGOs reported an increase of domestic workers complaining of abuse in diplomatic households. Various governments reported German citizen participation in sex tourism.
• The Government of Germany fully complies with the minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking. The German government increased its identification of labor trafficking victims by approximately 75 percent, though the number of sex trafficking victims it identified decreased. The government lengthened the reflection period granted to suspected victims and provided opportunities for certain victims of exploitation to remain in the country during civil claims against their employers. The government proactively identified a high proportion of trafficking victims. Nevertheless, a German government study showed that labor trafficking identification lagged behind sex trafficking victim identification. Sentencing convicted trafficking offenders to terms of imprisonment remained a significant deficiency in the German government's anti-trafficking efforts. Available statistics continued to indicate the majority of convicted labor and sex trafficking offenders were not required to serve time in prison, placing victims at potential risk when convicted offenders were free after trial.
• https://www.refworld.org/docid/4fe30cc8c.html (this is only one report, I don't have access to a lot of the old Army material, but that stuff was crazy)

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Back to regular programming. OM calls it off when she comes back. Says we can do casual BDSM but not actually date. She will help me find a submissive more attentive to my "needs." I asked which ones since having sex with a German woman in Berlin every weekend plus BDSM outings were more than enough for my sex drive. 

She gave some compliments that I don't wish to share, and basically told me I have the makings of a great dom. The next weekend, I had a month to month flat in Bayreuth.

I was going on dates off Tagged and the bars at the time. OM said no more bars, no more night clubs (I still went a few times but not every weekend like I used to).

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Sub 1 comes into the picture from the WON. It's winter, her friends left her, we played chess with change waiting on the after-hours spot opened up. She tells me about a Russian club called Plan B. 

I say sure. We crash at my place. drive from Bayreuth to Wurzburg. Plan B is packed.

BEDROOM PRO TIP for men: Jack off before going out. When you don't want sex RIGHT NOW...... and a woman is bragging about how much she shoots down men she doesn't want.....more so than she is asking about you. Don't sleep with her. Matter fact, leave sex on the back burner for the first week. Just see how things pan out. Sticking to this and that budget will naturally filter out the unwanted. 

We arrive at Plan B. Hulk 1 Bouncer sees me, a black American in Germany trying to get into a Russian club .......and I speak neither language.

Hulk 2 aka Guy next to him looks in my wallet. Sees a card for Slovensky miln (hotel in Poland), his cousin works there. He is Russian and Polish, hates people picking on him for it. 

Hugs me. Lets us in. Never told me his name. Puts a girl on my lap (young German strawberry blonde with mean side glance). This is Hanna (I can write her name with permission). Redhead, green eyes, Israeli, Dad is German and Irish, Mom is pureblood Israeli. Not allowed to divulge more.  She becomes sub four, 2 months after the Turkish Twister Sisters. 

At this point. 9 Turkish men walk into the club in tracksuits, wifebeaters, and FIla tennis shoes. Clearly... they are not here for the Bingo tournament. 

+++For those who have not been to Europe, do not pick a fight with Turkish men. There are never less than 15. The first 9 are club enforcers (making sure their buddies have a good time, the rest are drivers, hookah masters, and parking lot fight club members. Pay your respects, buy the head guy a drink, and go on about your business.

For the record, NO ONE is stupid enough to start mess in a Russian club, against Americans...who have money...to pay said Russians. To ask you politely to leave. Without your girl. Or your jacket. This a common occurrence, do not bring your girlfriend (who you abuse and cheated for money) to a club full Americans. She will get spoiled...by my woman. Then my gay friend will teach her how to Bachata. Then we tell her we can get her a ride anywhere if she leaves whoever. They say they have clothes in the guy's car. I show them a military ID (meaning they can just buy clothes with us on base for half price of what German stores sell). 

NIGHT CLUB PRO TIP #1 for men: Stud Lesbians have more money than you. They know a woman's body better than you. They can have sex longer than you. And rarely does anyone want to fight them. Especially the studs who are in the military. Why have enemies when you can have friends. 

NIGHT CLUB PRO TIP # 2 for men: Ignorant men from any race do not like lesbians. Much fewer studs. Much less an African American military stud. Her name is Shyne. And she will knock you clean out.....

TIPS + Shyne + Russian/polish bouncer +  = Me bringing home two turkish women. 

Sub 2 and 3 are Buket and SubA (she's taken now, I respect it and wish you the best boo). Supposed to have gone on a Lil Jon concert tour, fat guy in the entourage said both had to sleep with him. She liked my beads; that I had a belt, had my shoes tied, and could speak coherent sentences. We didn't even make it out of the parking lot. 

___Skip ahead 2 months. Hanna comes over for dinner. Meets the twisters. They drink wine. I go out. Come back to a dog pile of Taylor Swift, glitter, wine boxes, and a surgically clean house.

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Now....this is not meant to sound racist. But German and American white men have been the best thing for my dating life since I hit puberty. Young European women are something else. All 7 subs had degrees, spoke 3 languages, had served in some military or community service role......and every one of them met a white guy online, traveled across the country, and then.....

How did I get 7 subs? i have some better questions...

1. To the "dom" who demands subs listen to anything, he says when he is drinking...How did YOU talk to a 24-year-old Spanish girl (w/ a degree and biggest green-hazel eyes you ever have seen) for 3 months, buy her ticket from Spain to Germany, take her out to a BDSM party, then leave her there? I'll probably pick her up. 
2. To every guy who says he has "yellow fever." F you. I'm from Cali. Speak a little Chinese. I got your chick, her friend, their mom's parrot HAS SAID it likes me more than you. F you. And that stupid flask you keep filled with Jim Beam but brag to everyone how it's something fancy. 
3. To the white soldiers, in the military (you militias..I'm not talking to you) who sneak women on to the base in the trunk of your car.
   
   1. That's illegal.
   2. That's illegal and cruel.
   3. That's illegal and stupid. 
   4. After you got in a drunk argument and thought it was funny or ok to leave another human being stranded, she hit my girl up
4. To the brothers (in every sense of the word) who think it's acceptable to take a woman to a club, then hit on someone else's woman. Then leave your woman (that you haven't danced or had sex with). 
5. Which character in this story are you?
   1. Took my friend's sister (looks like my sister, short, shiny ebony skin, way better fro than mine) and her friends out for a birthday night. I was in pajamas, the designated driver, forgot to brush my teeth and had to pull a favor with the bouncer to get in because I forgot my wallet. To the guy who walked up to supposed sister for the night... and said these words "Me and my best friend would love to f+++ you in the a++ until you say you love us."
   2. Fun fact: I'm not armed
   3. Fun fact 2: Sis is armed 
   4. Fun fact 3: Sis and her cousins...are armed
   5. Guys, women are no longer needing to be protected. They have combat boots, guns, knives, mace, and more. STOP with these suicide run pick up tactics. Because watching you get your face stomped in at gunpoint by 4 black women is hard for me to watch. And the police, upon hearing what you did, will watch also. 
   6. There are mythical tools that will aide in your dating life. If you never had 4 women actively hit 3 nightclubs to help land a girlfriend. It's an amazing experience. 

------These kinds of situations happen EVERY weekend in EVERY city. It's to the point, I just walk down the street, open doors, and say "have a nice day." and I'm getting numbers. If my poly house offers more food, positivity, progress, and humanity than your 1-bed basement apartment (that you don't clean, can't have peace in, and ignore ol girl to play video games and scream at random strangers online...... the Lord will put that woman in a better (or my...) place. 

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Now, let's go into the management of multiple subs:

• FIRST. Accept that you aren't ready.
• SECOND. Accept that sex is one of the smallest components of BDSM. When 7 people come at you, your blanket approach of pickup lines and tinder profile fixer-upper advice is not going to help you. Physically most men should be able to fuck half the amount of people they can fight. This is why many of you are single, bragging how you want to have sex with multiple women, then quit when you get the chance.
  • Wanna threesome, go to Mexico or Thailand. Get it out of your system. They have sex challenges, and those places are still in business for the last couple of decades. To every guy who says sex is it, sex is everything, sex is the only thing women are good for. There is an adult entertainment crew in Phuket who pays me to refer men like you. And we all laugh when you leave after only 2 weeks. Pull up. 
• Whenever you are outnumbered, you do not dominate. You are supposed to guide, prepare, and react appropriately. 
• Always stay 10 rolls of TP ahead of the curve. Q-tips, sulfate-free lotion, 
• Bronner's natural soap. Just get 10 bottles and ration. 
• Prepare your kitchen as if you have to care for an extreme celiac. Seeds, fruits, veggies, nuts, gluten-free bread.
  • Yesterday I received this response to "Bruh, why do I have to change what I eat for hoes? I need protein, meat, man food."
    • My subs were from Greece, Spain, Germany, and Turkey. Food was never an issue. 
    • Worked in a slaughterhouse for a couple of years with more than a few women co-workers. Meat is not a "man" food. It's dead flesh of another animal. We abuse, neglect, and slaughter animals for commercial consumption.
    • Bulls, Whales, Giraffes, Elephants, Stallions, Gorillas......don't eat meat. 
  • Being considerate of other people's needs is the most crucial part of poly. If you don't have it, if you're looking for a quick fix. This will blow up in your face. 
• Absolutely FORBID glitter, makeup with ingredients that have closed lawsuits, exes, pets, kids, cigarettes, and alcohol. 
• Throw the video games in the trash. Read, learn, play music, games, go to sleep at a reasonable hour
• Cook large, nutrient dense and cheap meals. Rice + Chia seeds + Carrots/sweet potatoes/celery/radish + cayenne & sea salt ---> rice cooker. derrin's signature 15 minute stew. 
• Listen
  • Take notes, handle any argument like a legal review. Do not let emotion cloud hard decisions. 
  • Now listen some more. 
  • Now really listen and take notes. 
  • Make a plan. Execute the said plan. 
  • Encourage feedback on your ideas, passions, and projects. Now do the same for your household. 
• Poly is not a hall pass for you to treat people like s+++. Matter of fact if you knew the back

Start: First 1, then 3, then 6, then it was 7. 

Crisis Management:

• It's poly, people date outside the tribe. People outside the tribe usually suck. When a partner gets the short end, just be around. Cook, massage and don't say anything, speak with your actions that you're here no matter what. 
• Build and stick to a budget. Do not send money to anyone outside the dynamic. You need every cent in the long run. Trust me. 
• Physical communication triggers. I have a red med bag hanging above my light switches. In it:
  • Vaccum sealed Lemon OG Haze x2 joints
  • Lighter
  • A note from me to me: Red Alert, light the blunt and take notes. 

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Like my profile, this may seem all over the place so let me explain. I upgraded my way of thinking in domination. I no longer try to just dominate an individual. I dominate an entire environment. Budget, bills, open sunny windows, essential hair products, hair ties on every door, manadatory deep conversations...so on and so on. Once this is implemented, I am subconsivously dominating anyone who enters my space. 

Take shoes off at the door. Have manners. Be prepared to have a few convos where you might be on the losing end. All food is served buffet style to encourage people to share recipes, dips, and warmth. All electronics go into the charging room. Spare bedroom with a charging rack and photography equipment. (PRO TIP: Less radiation = less stress. Don't sleep next to your phone, laptop and wifi router.)

With that said, that means my spectrum for who I can attract and what I'm open to, is drastically changed. I'm no longer looking for one person with this specific list of qualities, because life isn't a shopping spree and if American slavery taught us anything, it's that people are not products, predicable or down to be held against their will. I am looking for someone who can survive in my environment. 

Only the kind, only the humble, only the hardworking could survive in my house that welcomes veterans, BLM events, children of all ages, rescue animals, business professionals, models, cooks, and non-profit business owners. I take care of survivors. I love survivors. I hope to be head of a village of survivors one day. 

SQUIRREL!!!...........Flashback to the Grand 7. The plan. For the first month or two, we started with myself and 3 subs, and all basically dogpile over each other. This dynamic was the LEAST amount of sex I have ever had in my life..........a period I thoroughly enjoyed. Then 4 more women came, mostly transient or here for summer classes. Same story as above. After 3 months, 2 girls went to Berlin, 2 had their own place. The rest shared my place in Bayreuth, while whoever wanted to join me when I had to drive to work (soldier in Germany), would just stay with me for that couple days or night until we go back to the house. Staying engaged, positive, and learning to listen instead of just hearing what people say and responding, was still not enough to make things perfect. 

It's now in 2020, years later, everyone has branched off. Kids, houses, new partners. I took contracts in Afghanistan, then Iraq. 

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To new doms, be wary of getting into situations that you don't anything or anyone to refer to. It's our role to guide, yes, but every guide respects the environment they are in to best give critical points. To new subs (male and female), if they don't have two people like you who can give a reference about half the stuff they are telling you. They are lying to you. And if you are driving on in a relationship without verifying or with you feeling like crap every day. Address it, if it doesnt work, leave. Your life and happiness are YOUR responsiblity. 

Now lets talk about the goodies and/or benefits of being head of household. My 4th relationship mentor is Anthony L. Ray. We met in Seattle. He taught me about business, relationships, and surviving as a black man in Europe. He warned me that the conversations people start with you when they a tall black dude with 3 women is HILARIOUS. And he was right, because he lived that life. Let me say it plainly. Sir Mix a Lot taught me about life in a Seattle Jazz bar for weeks. As a young, hard headed soldier, I shut my mouth and listened. Most of his advice didn't click in till years later. 

Glad this whole shebang worked out ok for me, but I'm now seeing poly in a much different light. I now see that in a poly house with 7 women, I had the same amount of sex with the standard sex-is-controlled for dates, money and gifts. The latter women never hand fed me my meds after my deployment. Never called me handsome after I had my face split open. Every woman with a dream wedding (but doesn't know the cost), that I dated, left me for dead when I got laid off from Google. 

For people who are wary of poly. Your ex who cheated on you, that was not poly, that was a breach of trust. Your status in a relationship is how you feel, what you're responsible for, and how that special person treats you. That message is for EVERYONE. If you felt that, reconsider who you are with. 

For everyone claiming to be poly, list your references.

My references: JackieCantRN + Littleliv 

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I am forever thankful that life forced me into this position during my twenties. There are lessons I learned but don't know how to implement since I am not experienced enough yet. I'll be here to answer any questions you may have. God Bless. 

Sorry for this disorganization. Running a business, watching dogs/kids and trying to manage all this has me all over the place. 

We are thriving. Come smoke.