Especially in a Power Exchange Dynamic
I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on the concept of trust, especially in the context of a Master/slave dynamic. In many conversations, within the kink community and even among friends in more traditional relationships. I’ve noticed how often people say, “I mostly trust them,” or “I trust them in some things, but not others.” And every time I hear that, I pause.
Because here’s the truth I’ve come to hold: trust is not a sliding scale. It is all or nothing.
Let me explain. When we say we “mostly trust” someone, what we’re really saying is that we feel some sense of safety or security in particular aspects of the relationship. Maybe we trust that person with our finances, but not our emotions. Or we trust them to be honest in public, but not to hold our secrets in private. That isn’t trust in the full sense of the word. It is compartmentalized confidence. It is risk management.
But trust, real, integrated trust, especially in a Power Exchange dynamic, doesn’t work that way. You don’t give someone authority over your body, your decisions, your rituals, your boundaries, and your energy if you only partially trust them. At least, not safely. In a consensual M/s relationship, power is given freely and consciously, but only when the foundation is solid. That foundation? It is made of complete, unwavering trust.
To say, “I mostly trust my Master” is, in essence, to say “I haven’t given everything.” And that’s okay. What’s not okay is pretending that you have. Trust doesn’t mean the absence of fear or never having doubts. It means believing your partner is going to do right by you, even when it is hard. Even when you’re vulnerable. Even when you aren’t watching.
If there are cracks in that trust, they deserve attention, not judgment. A good Dominant, or Master, will understand that trust is earned through consistency, honesty, and care. A good submissive or slave will also honor their intuition and speak up when something doesn’t feel right. That kind of transparency builds the kind of trust we need for the deep surrender that Power Exchange demands.
So if you catch yourself saying “I mostly trust them,” take a step back. Ask yourself:
What parts don’t I trust, and why?
What needs to happen to close that gap?
Is this someone I can give myself to fully?
Because in a dynamic rooted in authority transfer, there isn’t room for partial truths. Trust is the ground beneath your feet. If it is shaky, the entire structure is at risk. Let’s honor that. Let’s treat trust like the sacred thing it is. Not a convenience or a checkbox, but a living, breathing bond. All in, or not at all.