I wanted to share a little bit about something that has been on my heart lately, especially for those who identify as Dominant or Master. This comes purely from my own experience as a deeply submissive woman, one who thrives on structure, direction, and knowing exactly where I stand.
For me, there is something incredibly grounding about a direct order. When my Masters look at me and tell me what to do, clearly, directly, without hesitation, my whole body and mind respond. It is like my nervous system exhales. I don’t have to guess. I don’t have to second guess. I don’t have to spiral into “Am I doing this right? Is this what They want?” Instead, I can simply be in the moment and focus on the act of serving, knowing I am doing exactly what has been asked of me.
That’s why, in my experience, it is more important for a Master or Dominant to give a direct order when They truly want something done, whether it is a task, a ritual, or even discipline. If you want it fulfilled with devotion, don’t ask… command.
Choices absolutely have their place, and I’m so grateful when I’m given one. Being offered a choice feels like a reward, a gift, a sign of trust and affection. It can be a beautiful moment of freedom inside the structure. But for me personally, if I’m offered choices too often, or in situations where my Masters actually have a preference, it can lead to panic. I’m indecisive by nature, and when faced with “What would you like?” instead of “Do this,” my brain starts spinning. Instead of feeling cherished, I feel pressure, and the whole point of surrendering slips away.
So to any Dominant reading this, if you truly want something from your submissive, claim it. Own it. Command it. You’re not being cruel. You’re not being overbearing. You’re giving us the gift of clarity, and for some of us, that clarity is where our deepest submission blooms.
When I’m commanded, I feel seen. I feel chosen. I feel safe.
When I’m given a choice, I feel trusted and celebrated, but I also know it is a privilege, not a baseline.
This balance of command and choice is one of the things that makes the dynamic between Master and slave so powerful. And for me, at least, it is the direct orders that allow me to truly melt into my place at Their feet, heart open, ready to serve.