But the word is Misunderstood
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how often I hear people say “Chivalry isn’t dead.” Usually, it is when a man does something kind, opens a door, pulls out a chair, offers his jacket, or speaks with gentle respect. It is meant as a compliment, I know. But every time I hear it, a part of me tilts my head and wonders, do they actually know what chivalry means?
Because true Chivalry wasn’t just about manners or romance. It was a code of honor, one that guided knights to live with courage, integrity, and loyalty. It wasn’t about whether or not a man paid for dinner. It was about how he held himself accountable to something greater than comfort or convenience. It was duty. It was service. It was ethics.
Somewhere along the way, the word got watered down. It stopped being about honor and started being about gestures. We traded the substance for the symbolism, the armor for the act.
And maybe that’s why it strikes me so deeply. Because when I speak about respect, about conduct, about service, I’m not looking for a door to be opened. I’m looking for intentionality. For a kind of mindfulness that says, “I choose to act with care and integrity, not because I have to, but because it reflects who I am.”
That, to me, is the modern echo of chivalry, not the holding of the door, but the holding of one’s word. Not the gallant performance, but the quiet consistency of character.
So no, I don’t think chivalry is dead.
I think we’ve just forgotten that it was never about romance at all. It was about honor.
And that, I still find breathtakingly beautiful.
When you come across a word you don’t usually use, or hear someone use a word in a way that seems off, it is always a great idea to open a dictionary. Words carry meaning and depth, and using them well can be incredibly attractive.