I have been putting this writing off for a while now. The main reason I did not desire to write about the feelings I had was do to my anger. It was never something I wanted to convey in my writing. Now that I had some time to process and calm down I can write from my heart and how I am truly feeling.
I am extremely sad, disgusted, and disappointed in my local community both online and in person. For a community that constantly demands respect, consent and safety they all have let me down completely as a whole. All of the accusations that have come out in Orlando was a hard read here on fetlife, let alone the town halls I attended something really hard to listen to. Then I took the time to deep dive myself because I do not just take word from mouth as truth. I have to know everything about it before I come to my own judgment. So that is what I did.
My conclusions are likely going to be extremely unpopular but unfortunately this is how I feel and I do not think these feelings will ever change or be easily swayed to give it another go. My Master Damon and I had gone to The Woodshed on and off for years. I am lucky to say that he never allowed me to be alone which I am grateful for. After hearing all of the stories I could have become a name on the victim's list. I can only imagine what might have happened if MC had been left alone with me as he used me as a Demo model for an Electro Play class. Though honestly I never had an issue and I thought the way he treated me was very well worthy of my respect so he earned it. I believe that now is due to Damon not leaving my side. Still it breaks my heart because of how much I treasured MC.
Damon and I had left The Woodshed when Covid hit and did not come back until it was fully open again. We instantly felt a shift in the atmosphere. It was so stifling due to the cliques that had formed. No one was actively out talking to each other anymore. If you weren't part of these groups, then you did not exist. We actually had a conversation that night with MC and he told us he had to kick out a large group of members for violating rules. Now I wonder if these people did violate rules or were they speaking out against the abuse? Were they banned from the Woodshed to be silenced? A question I likely will never know the answer to. Which for me is sad.
So when I first realized what was going on was when MC posted a notice that The Woodshed was being sold. I instantly reached out to MC and asked why, and if he was okay and what was going on. What I got was a response of lies. Nothing was said about the accusations, the drama, or anything going on. In fact what he said honestly was disgraceful and as much as I want to just openly share what he said I won't be copying his messages here. What I can say is that message he sent me prodded me to do further research. That is when I came across his writing where he admitted to violating someone's consent. I was totally disgusted. Honestly I know no one is perfect and people make mistakes; However that being said a grown adult having been a large part of the BDSM/Leather community for decades. Owning a play space that hit number 2 in the country. Someone who was named reputable, responsible not just for safety of those in the community, but for education correctly and remaining a leading pillar of this community. No, not being perfect is not an excuse here. Age here is not the reason, memory loss is not an excuse. As an adult I hold everyone to the standard you know right from wrong and I do not need to baby you like a toddler.
Honestly that one admittance was enough for me. It takes only one to show me that you are not someone I should trust, play with, or even respect. Which was a devastating blow too me because of how much I treasured this person. Whenever I was in zoom discussions, or on discord how much I boasted about this person. The experiences I had are now a bittersweet memory. Sure I can keep the good things I experienced and still be angry over the bad things and the fallout. I am just extremely sad and disgusted over it. Even if I respect him coming out the One Time and admitting he had done these things.
Then I do further research and find out that the Staff of the Woodshed covered it all up. That to me is far more disgusting. They knew and did nothing. You allowed this behavior to continue and honestly are in my own opinion an accomplice to these people being hurt. I am not even talking about the staff that also violated consent and hurt members of this community in other ways. Then you have the audacity to come out and apologize? You have the audacity to say you chose to walk away as a staff member because nothing was going to change. As if you are some kind of hero? Absolutely not, they are scum. They said NOTHING. They remained silent and did not warn people. You might as well have been the get away driver for a bank robbery that is how culpable in all of this you all are!!!
Which truly is sad in the long run. One person that I treasured greatly was someone who first taught Damon how to bind my hands correctly so I can stand and be flogged. He taught me the signs to lookout for in my own body to know when I need to call my safe word to readjust. He taught me how to stand correctly for Damon and how to hold onto the rope between my wrists to give me extra support of my weight. Then I find out he was someone that came out to apologize for covering all this abuse up. That he and his partner chose to walk away and remain silent because after many times of trying to get MC to stop and change they realized he wasn't going to. So another great experience is now marred by disgust because they chose to remain silent and allow this kind of abusive behavior to continue. As far as I am concerned, Any staff member should be shunned completely from this community and never be permitted back in ever again. As far as I am concerned you do not have any respect, trust or any excuse worthy of allowing you near me or anyone I care about in this lifestyle. As far as I am concerned you should be sitting in a jail cell right never to MC and all the other people who have hurt these people. All the staff at The Woodshed disgust me.
Now to the people who spoke about being banned from the Woodshed for violating consent and being abusive and then flipping the script to paint the picture that you were abused first etc etc etc. Sit down and shut up. Speaking out to retaliate because you are upset you got caught and were dealt with. I have no sympathy, no compassion and honestly because you only chose to speak out against the abuse there because you were kicked out for being abusive. You are so degusting., and I am glad you have been outed as the type of person you are. Gone, bye, shunned and won't be near me or my closest dearest friends and family in this lifestyle. Anyone that speaks out just because they were caught and don't want the spotlight on them can just become the white noise they truly are. Your words do not matter. Being a victim does not give you the right to turn around and become an abuser. Absolutely Not!!! I know it comes off harsh this entire thing is hard for me because I have been a survivor of abuse my entire life. I have been sexually assaulted, and I have had my consent violated so badly in this lifestyle that I nearly died. So I do not take it lightly when people behave like this.
So to the survivors of the Orlando BDSM Community. Honestly I am glad you came out as a collective. I am so grateful that the light is finally shining down on all this disgusting behavior by the people who advocated so strongly for safety, consent and respect. I am extremely devasted you all had to endure this, and then be silenced. It breaks my fucking heart. This is something that should have never happened to begin with. This is why I do not listen to people just becuase they have been doing something for a long time. Your reputation has no merit to me. I judge you based on your integrity alone. If you do not have good moral standing and character then I avoid. I am grateful that we chose to leave The Woodshed completely back in 2023 because we felt that shift in the community. It was not one we desired to be apart of.
So the Woodshed has sold. As happy as that makes me I will never return. There will be nothing anyone can do to make me believe that the Orlando Community as a whole is safe to play with. I hate to say it but everyone involved is to blame. The silence was deafening and revealed everything to me. Abuser/victim everyone was silent. There is no excuse to remain silent and allow this behavior to continue. As much as I feel the pain this community is going through there is nothing good that can ever come from it for me or those I am close with. Which is sad and heartbreaking because being in a local community is important to me.
Do I hope the new owners will do better? Absolutely. Will I be apart of that, absolutely not. I cannot be around people who refuse to criminally press charges on people who commit sexual crimes. There is no excuse that will ever be good enough to not do that. I cannot be in a room with people who I cannot trust to speak up about injustices happening on around them. Do I know these new owners will fail every once in awhile. Of course I do, but I will not be there when it happens.
I am happy that we are moving soon and we can find a new community but we will be sure to see it for what it is. I do not believe I will ever be into a large part of community ever again. I think moving forward smaller areas will be better for our safety. Vetted people only will be around us. It is not wise nor safe anymore to partake in these types of things and this entire mess with the Orlando community has been a huge eye opener for me.
My heart is broken, I have purged myself of everyone I was friends with from the Orlando community as I have no desire anymore to be near them. I do not deem them safe anymore. Honestly I do not deem any of the community here safe anymore. Lakeland, Tampa nothing. It has been suffocating to watch the doors get closed and the world feel that much smaller but safety, consent, and respect are so important to me that I cannot stand by this anymore. I know I will get much hate on this because of my own personal opinions and view and beliefs on this entire debacle but that is alright. I have never been popular because I actually have no problem standing up and having a voice loud enough to stand for what is right.
So good luck to those trying to fix, heal, and rebuild The Orlando Community. Sadly I will not be apart of it and I hope that when we move we can find a better community in a new city and state.
I do wish you all the very best, do and be better!!!
