she wonders...how can she tell if a Dominant is right for her? she will always naturally submit to a Dominant. That is who she is and what she does. It's not only out of duty, but out of respect for those above her. It will be determined at any given time if that particular Dominant is deserving or not. The gift of submission should not be given away so freely.
So, how does she know if she finds the "right one" or the "one" for that matter? she can vet for however long she chooses or until it feels natural and "right". Vetting can take days, weeks, months...don't just settle for something that appears "perfect". There is no perfect in this world....but deception can be hidden under that perfection that you see in your eyes.
i am naturally submissive, i use honorifics as a "respect" for any Dominant. It doesn't mean that i am going to be that Dominants submissive by any means.
i do find myself wondering.....how does one know that a Dominant is right for them besides the obvious vetting and spending time/sharing space together (not necessarily in a sexual way either) to determine if there is easy communication, a mutual attraction, some common ground.
Can one just feel how right it is? i have been a submissive for over 20 years and yet i still have to ask. i, like most everyone, have been in dynamics that i thought would be a great fit. They ended up horribly. So much for my intuition right? Things i have learned through this process are:
1. Never assume someone calling themselves a Dominant is a true Dominant.
2. Always vet and don't do it quickly. Ask the tough questions. Never compromise your wants and needs (any dynamic takes 2 people).
3. Be aware of red flags. Some are easy to recognize whether it be a sinking feeling in your gut, be in a flat out disrespect of you or your limits, or it can be how someone talks about their previous submissives. Some are not so recognizable.
4. Good things comes to those who wait and persevere. The Dominant you need will find you through your true self.
5. I have learned to try to have patience through the process (i am not a patient woman)
6. Don't use insecurities as an excuse to not be vulnerable and try new things.
7. Don't let anyone define your beauty. 8. Don't let society make you feel that you are not worthy. Beauty is how a Dominant looks at you and calls you "good girl". Beauty is found in the beholders eyes. Let them dictate how they see you and then try to see yourself the way they do.
9. There are no guarantees in this life. We cannot expect a perfect world without flaws like we cannot expect things will always work out like we want them to. The key here is to just go with the flow naturally and hope for the best but expect some bumps in the road.
10. Have no expectations at the beginning of vetting. You are there to learn and determine if there is a connection.
11. Pay attention to red flags! This could be in the form of insults, mental abuse, aggressive behavior, not being able to speak without being shut down. Please listen to what your intuition/gut is telling you. It could be a blessing in disguise.
Submission is supposed to bring peace and not destruction.
12. MOST IMPORTANTLY! If you are questioning anything, take heed of that and realize this dynamic may not be for you. Simply count your blessings and move on.
i personally struggle with wondering if i am a good enough submissive (even though i know deep down i am). i struggle with wondering if i am pretty enough or if i am smart enough. We can not know what a true Dominants like or perception is until we meet them. we hope and pray that we are simply enough.
i have been vetting a new Dominant for over 5 weeks now. i am not ashamed to say that i have been doing this cautiously. i have asked questions...so many i am always afraid to ask more....but He welcomes them and he answers them within an appropriate time frame. i think He could be the one...how can i know for certain? He says all the right things. He takes time to hear what i have to say and how i feel about things. He encourages communication. He enjoys my sarcasm (which is not disrespectful by any means). He encourages me to be my authentic self and nothing less of that. He lives by 24/7 Dominance and submission and He knows what he wants. I have seen Him and He has seen me through video. W/e have spoke on the phone multiple times.
i have been thinking about so many senarios. i have been thinking if i have covered all my bases and asked all that i needed to. W/e are preparing to meet and "spend space together" just to determine the compatibility and get to know each other. You can learn so much by social interaction and how others react to those around you. i am overly estatic about the meet but with trying to remember that there are no guarantees. i am feeling pretty good but only time will really tell if it is sustainable and "right". Just the other day, i was alone with my thoughts and realized that when i am in this mans presence, i would absolutely fall to my knees in front of Him. i am drawn to His presence and what He stands for. He makes me smile. i am choosing to get on my knees and submit, it won't be forced or demanded. Will He be the "one"? How will i know?
What i do know is that He has brought a passion back into my world. One that was extinguished for some time now. He has given me a chance once again to believe in something i thought was dead. He has brought back my hope in people. He has made me realize that all the wanna be Dominants i had were not worthy of my service or my submission. i know that i am deserving of something better....
But how will i know?
