All that Jaz

Another tear inducing song for me

So my Sis (DD) posted a music thread, and it ended up making me want to share other songs.....I love songs that bring a tear to the eye....I thought maybe I would share some....maybe one a week or something....(I have a lot...lol)

first one:

For those that don't know, I am married (for almost 19 years now) to my Ma'am.   The issue that keeps coming up is, she is (in my opinion) a switch. (and I think actually craves being a sub more than she lets on).  I know how to top....but I am a bottom, through and through.  The end result....I am not getting the domination I need, and she is not getting the submission she needs.  When we first ventured intot the lifestyle as a couple, I was her Daddy Domme, I studied and read up how to effectivly do it, and she was happy with it.  But being able to do something and deriving pleasure from it are two different things.   I did get pleasure from our scenes, but not like I would get when I submit.  So, I want to ask her if I can be topped by someone else....she would still own me, I would still do the little things I do for her, but I would be a service top for her as well, so she could get the submission she needs. (She is a hotwife as well, so I am not the only outlet for her sexually or physically).  I have a friend who is a Domme, and she has agreed to top for me, as long as Ma'am agrees.  I guess I am just tying to hear what everyone's opinions/thoughts are...

Just wanted to wish a Merry Christmas (or other appropriate holiday greeting) to everyone!

so, I identify as Femme....but I present as Masc. I will never present as Femme, no matter how much I wish I could.  I have excepted that.  I still identify as femme.  For the record, I am a big person....i spent 20 years in the Army making muscles...I also spent 20 years hiding who I felt I was....I don't really know what I am trying to say in this post....other than, I am Femme, I am sissy...and that is what I want....if you don't understand, I get it, but this is who I am

Im so excited, Ma'am is coming home tonight and should be home for the rest of the year!

I have been very interested in growing as a submissive lately.   I like learning visually.  I wish there was more kink "education" videos online.  not porn (although I love porn), but serious digging into what it means to be a sub, or a Dom....I think that too many times, it's looked at more than a fashion sort of thing....it's different, it's cool, and fun.  I want substance though....I want knowledge...I want to be the submissive that Ma'am dreams about

it's been awhile. I've been doing a bit of soul searching and trying to learn more about myself, and what makes me tick. (you would think I would have figured that out after almost 45 years, but nope).  The biggest change I am trying to do, is be sober.  My drinking has gotten incrementaly worse the last 18 years.  Even more so, when dealing with my social anxiety, etc. I was doing good.  I hadn't had a drink in a few weeks, but I realllllllly wanted one (or several).  This weekend I failed myself, and got quite drunk. I hated myself in the morning, not because of a hangover (I don't seem to get those), but because I threw away weeks of hard work and discipline.  Now, I don't know why this never hit me before....discipline....I am in a FLR, discipline should be my claim to fame, yet, I never attributed my drinking to that.  So, that is my new outlook on it.  I am supposed to be the best person I can be for Ma'am, and I can't do that when I am drunk.  It still won't be easy, but I have real motivation now.  On top of the drinking, my blood sugar has been getting worse.  Ma'am accompianed me to my last doctors visit, where he gave the "diabetes is going to kill you and you will never know till it's too late" So, I am on a new diet, and thinking about taking it another step to a keto diet.  Once again, though, I am going to be disciplined and take care of myself so that I can serve Ma'am for many more years.