Jaz13(sub male)

All that Jaz

whatever I feel like putting into words at the time...

pondering the give and take...

5 years ago. January 2, 2019 at 1:20 AM

For those that don't know, I am married (for almost 19 years now) to my Ma'am. The issue that keeps coming up is, she is (in my opinion) a switch. (and I think actually craves being a sub more than she lets on). I know how to top....but I am a bottom, through and through. The end result....I am not getting the domination I need, and she is not getting the submission she needs. When we first ventured intot the lifestyle as a couple, I was her Daddy Domme, I studied and read up how to effectivly do it, and she was happy with it. But being able to do something and deriving pleasure from it are two different things. I did get pleasure from our scenes, but not like I would get when I submit. So, I want to ask her if I can be topped by someone else....she would still own me, I would still do the little things I do for her, but I would be a service top for her as well, so she could get the submission she needs. (She is a hotwife as well, so I am not the only outlet for her sexually or physically). I have a friend who is a Domme, and she has agreed to top for me, as long as Ma'am agrees. I guess I am just tying to hear what everyone's opinions/thoughts are...

Max Sterne(dom male){Morley} - Interesting dilemma jaz. Clearly I dont know your wife, but its possible her and I have some similarities here. Lately I have listed myself as a sub on this and other sites, but up until a few years ago that was not my role. And yet like your wife I do not consider myself switch ( its a long boring story that I won't labor you with here).

I think your idea is a good one, but I would just caution about the "green eyed monster". Yes, people do make these kinds of relationships work, but many also crash and burn due to the belief that any jealousy would be somehow mitigated. The fact is you really won't know until you are in the situation what your (or her) emotions will do. Agreeing to stop doesn't always solve the problem either as the damage may already be done.

My advice is for the both of you to think long and hard about taking that step. It might be the best decision you ever made in your marriage, but it could just as easily be the
decision that destroys it.

Best wishes to the both of you.

5 years ago

Thecharmedmuse(switch female){My Wildman} - I think it’s a very delicate situation that all parties must be in complete harmony with. It all boils down to how you feel you can juggle that. For myself, a D/s relationship is something very intense and intimate and I could not possibly manage maintaining two. When I seek to fully submit to someone, I don’t think I’d be able to carry on with anyone else. That is just me. I was in an open relationship before and it was fine for awhile... but my heart is very exclusive. It might work out for you though. Not everyone is the same. Just really be honest with yourself and your partner/s.

5 years ago

Jaz13(sub male) - so, to clarify....as of right now, Ma'am may do whatever she likes with whoever she likes....and that is fine. I am not trying to really be poly....I don't want anything really sexual with someone else....just the submission.

5 years ago

SchrodingersDinosaur(switch female) - Hi Jaz, you mention that you don't want a sexual situation just the Domination you crave, I personally don't think that negates Random's point. Jealousy can still be a major factor, sometimes even more so than with a purely sexual situation. That being said, I think you've puzzled out a very good solution for meeting both of your needs. Your relationship already includes others given your Ma'am's hotwifedness. You've already dealt with the issues that can arise from that rather than a thoroughly mono couple trying to make a brand new dynamic successful. Won't know unless you talk to her! Much luck to you. - Henna

5 years ago

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Jaz13​(sub male)

All that Jaz

pondering the give and take...

Jaz13(sub male)