Questions and no answers

Contemplating all the what if’s of everything…

What if I do this?

What if I don’t do that?

What if I’m not brave enough and miss out?

What if I push too hard or even worse not hard enough?

Healing from trauma is an on going process and when you are in a safer environment you don’t know what to do. It feels like what I imagine ‘normal’ people have always felt. I want to connect with another person but I am also terrified to do it. Although I am so much better than I was recent experiences have made me scared of getting hurt again, believing false promises and being let down again. 

I am amazed at the normalcy of it. 

I know this has been disjointed but it is what it is. 
Welcome to my circus. 
Thank you for sticking around. ☺️