GrimmOryx(sub female){Maiden's S}

Quips and Chains

Because all pleasure and no pain makes me grumpy.

Mental Illness

6 years ago. April 14, 2018 at 4:17 AM

Hi. I’m a Domme. I also live with mental illness. I take medication to manage the symptoms of it and I have to stay on top of it. Mental illness is real, just as real as a physical illness. All in all, what I have to manage is relatively mild. I have PTSD, anxiety and depression, and ADD.

Recently, I screwed up the medication that manages my PTSD, anxiety and depression. I don’t know why I felt like I could put off taking it for one day; maybe the time was inconvenient. But I put it off another day. And then I just... forgot. For almost two weeks. At first, it didn’t make any difference. I was fine. I was still me. And slowly, emotions started cropping up totally illogically with no trigger whatsoever. And then the sadness and feeling of being overwhelmed by everything crept in.

I’ve corrected it. But because of my slip, things that are my responsibility slipped by me. It felt too huge to tackle and instead, I’d just sleep. I love who I am when I’m getting the right amount of serotonin and dopamine. I wish my brain manufactured it all on its own. I’m still grappling with issues surrounding my PTSD, but the panic attacks are so much less.

I want to let you all know that mental illness isn’t a deficiency in who you are as a person. If you slip up and relapse into it, pick yourself up and try again. If you can’t do everything, do something. And remember that you are enough. Sometimes, it’s okay if all you’re able to do is brush your teeth or shower. Remember that no matter how alone it feels, your illness will lie to you.

This site is amazing and if anyone ever needs to talk, I’m open to listening or giving advice as are many others here.

your illness doesn’t define you and you are not your diagnosis. It doesn’t mean you’re weak and it doesn’t mean you’re not deserving of good things. Easier to say on this side of the prescription, I know!

GrimmMaiden(dom female){GrimmOryx} - And for the partners of someone with mental illness....Dom/me, sub, switch, other....pay attention. If your partner is showing signs or symptoms indicating their illness is less than controlled, bring it up. Talk about what you're noticing. See if you can find the root cause and develop an action plan that helps alleviate the problem. In this case, I failed to recognize the changes as symptoms. I should have brought it up. It's just as much the sub's job to offer support and monitor their dom/me's well-being. I was patient, supportive, and understanding. But I didn't go far enough. Talk about your feels, people. Ask your partner to talk about theirs. No matter your roles.

6 years ago

Porkie(other female) - I too suffer from extreme depression. So much that medication is necessary. You are not alone in this my friend. Much respect for you for bringing up this topic. I can forget to take mine for days, and I slip into a deep depression of hopelessness and an onslaught of never ending tears. I will sleep as well. As much as possible. You've a wonderful submissive to help you when you stumble I can tell.

6 years ago

Bunnie - Wise and beautifully encouraging words... thank you so much for sharing this ?

6 years ago

Centipede(dom male){Sparkles} - I suffer from a mild case of OCD and battled and still battle today with depression, anxiety and other nasty things which I take meds for.
Today I made my OCD into my own personal superpower, but sometimes it's still difficult.
Mental health is often seen as something secondary and I often been told by people close to me to "just walk it off". Well, try to walk off a broken leg and tell me how it's like, smartbutt.
Mental illness is a illness and must be treated right, and kept in check like those nasty gums-related diseases that make your teeth fall out.

Life Pro Tip, people: Don't let your teeth, imaginary or real, fall off.

Keep Strong Cool Big Sister. You're not alone.

6 years ago

ric840147 - Your strength and honesty is something we all need more of. Thank you

Having been through the depths of clinically diagnosed depression I have come to realise that its something I could never have understood without having lived through it. Not that I invited it into my life. The feeling of hopeless, the loss of self worth and whole isolation are totally debilitating. The stigma of mental illness and that only weak people are affected by it. All contributing to the isolation and despair.

It is only when those such as your self share your experience do we have permission to acknowledge our suffering and give those on the outside a insight to the pain. In my case it was with the help of the right people, that today I am free of the darkness, although ever cautious that it's presence is never far away. On day at a time. Embrace life.

Thank you for your post.

6 years ago

Hers(sub male){Radiance} - Everyone has such strong beautifull and vulnerable responses to such a personal thing. I love it!!!

As i ride my rollercoaster ive had family that have slipped into depression, and I can say that doing this rite here, talking about it and, listening to what people are saying behind their words is very important.

Because if you cant hear them crying for help then who is going to. For that reason I will never be ashamed of friends and family who seem to be "Just acting up".

As society says we should all be strong and self sufficient we tend to push away people who seem to lack that quality and feel it will take way from the way people see us.

I will always sepatate myself from any croud, any time, anywere to follow my loved ones into their despair to tell them not to suck it up. To let it out cuz my ears can hear them lolol!!! We will walk out of hell together lol!

It really is important to recognize how you feel and be contious of it, but i thing everyone is different and have different tendancies. Sometimes without someone to accept and understand the way you feel the turbulance gets a bit rough!

6 years ago

Missub(sub female) - Thank you very much for your beautiful words. I was in denial for many years about my mental illness. As a Hispanic, we are taught that we are stronger and do not need medicine. I am now trying to manage my illness. Thanks again for sharing! ??

6 years ago

BeneathHerNow(sub male) - I suffer from PTSD, anxiety and depression as well. It is a painful trio. It was brave of you to write about it. I am not on medication but I am in therapy with a wonderful trauma specialist. I have found EMDR to be very effective with me. Depression is another story. I have issues fighting that one and it gets scary sometimes. I have thought about meds a lot. I just wanted to say I think you are brave to talk about this. Thank you!

6 years ago

GrimmOryx(sub female){Maiden's S} - I’m frankly shocked and overwhelmed at the outpouring of support that came from this. Every day, I’m reminded somehow that this site is truly a community filled with wonderful people. Thank you to each of you who have posted your stories here. Know that anyone can reach out to me at any time. I’m always available to listen, and if I’m able to, I’ll help find resources to help if you’re at a point that you’d like some help.

6 years ago

You must be registered and signed in to comment

Register Sign in

GrimmOryx​(sub female){Maiden's S}

Quips and Chains

Mental Illness

GrimmOryx(sub female){Maiden's S}