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Not Ashamed Anymore

How do you start off one of those? Do you jump in with both feet or just float there hoping for the best?

Well for along time I was floater. I was ashamed of my needs and wants. I was already an outsider to my family and feeling what I was feeling, would it make it worse?

Then I thought if I step into this life and start looking for a Daddy, would I just been seen as another girl with daddy issues.

Its hard knowing you need something so deeply and badly and know it isn't the "normal". I'm not ashamed of myself anymore, but it does scare me. But here I am jumping with two fit in and I'm hoping to find the right Daddy for me.
6 years ago. Thursday, February 28, 2019 at 4:56 PM

To say this week has been emotional would be an understatement....

I've been battling pneumonia for two weeks now and it's not getting better, due to the fact well I've been under stress this week and it hasn't helped.

From not sleeping for two days, then crying myself to sleep, from being scared, broken and to acting like everything is just fine has taken its toll. My heart is hurting and crying seems the best way of letting it all out. 

 

I'm writing this blog in bed, so bare with me if it's all over the place. My brain is fried and my body is mad at me....

I'm the type of person to put others before herself. I love helping others and being there for them and I've done that this week which means my health was put on the backburner. I'm not blaming anyone or what not I'm just tired and in desperate need of a hug!

 

My anxiety and depression is back with full force and I was triggered at the beginning of the week, so coming down from that is just great. To sum it up, I'm a hot F****** mess and it's not a good look.

 

Let the healing begin

 

Violet xx

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