Not Ashamed Anymore

I have an agreeable littlespace personality and am very protective over her. We both been hurt before and I just want to keep her safe.

She wants to come out more and more now and that makes me nervous a little.

Her imagination is an incredible wonder, full of make believe places and magical characters!

Her opinion is strong, but she is also independent, but still want to be babied sometimes. But no longer a baby when the punishments come around!

I don't often talk about this side of me, because a lot of people find it weird, creepy and say there's something wrong with me. However I know I can't keep pushing this side of me down and locking her away. It not healthy for either of us.

I guess getting away as really cleared my mind a little.

Not sure if on here people will also find this weird but for me the DD/LG is not just about sexy time and the "Daddy" kink, it's much more then that.

Violet and Hank ❤️

Alrighty I have decided to take some time and go to a place of healing and peace. It's going to be nice to get away and just be lost but in a good way. So Hank and I are packing up and heading out for a while. Not sure how long we will be away but it is very much needed I think.

If you are confused on who Hank is, well you will probably have to go back a few blogs haha. 

But I will be safe with him by my side and of course he will never hurt me. He's always protected me and has been by myself through many tears and laughter. 

Hope everyone out there stays safe and finds joy on their paths. 

Violet and Hank ❤️

I'm not sure if I can open myself up again. I have be used and thrown away and I can't go through that again. I can't keep putting myself through that pain and games Doms like to play with Subs because they think they can.

I understand people go through stuff, we all do but why do Doms like the play mind games with their Subs, throw them away like they aren't people or real? Use the "it's not me, its you" line everytime cause they think its easier that way or hust stop talking cause they feel like it.

Are there any real Doms out there or it all just one big game? Is my needs and wants just too much, should I just lock them away? Maybe this is not real? Maybe I'm just crazy and am meant to be alone.

Violet 

Sorry for another post tonight, I just have a lot on my mind and writing helps... 

I've been burned in all of my Relationships. I was abused, then used and ghosted in my Vanilla and not Vanilla relationships. I feel like my none vanilla side I need to protect and keep safe, I don't want them to hurt the way I've been hurt. Gosh I know how crazy that sounds, but I feel like I have to lock it away.

Everytime I come on here I get burned. I get told to leave this site cause the Doms I pick seem to like that control, but then they hurt both sides of me and that not fair to me. Call it being whiney or needy or whatever you want to call it.

I just want to feel safe being free to be my true real self. I want to be taken care.

I feel like locking away my needs and wants is the safest thing for me but at the same time I dont want to not be my true self.... 

I'm just so tired of always putting in 100% and getting nothing in return. Putting myself out there and getting ghosted or being told its not enough that I need to be better.

I just want to be accepted the way I am, someone being there for me, putting in the work just as much as me. 

I'm just so damn tired

I honestly feel so alone right now and sad. I didn't know where else to write it down my thoughts and feelings.... So here I am back again.

I thought I found my Daddy, someone who would take care of me, make me feel safe and loved, who gave me rules, tasks etc...

Things were good, great at first, I was his good girl. I let me walls down, but now he's gone, stopped responding to my messages, not even looking at them anymore and I feel so sad and alone. Seems like I wasn't good enough again.... 

Its been a couple of weeks now and I feel so empty and I just don't know what to do. When I'm not working I just sit and hope he will reach out, clear everything up but that doesn't happen. 

I feel so used and...... Why can't I be good enough??? Why can't I be enough?? 

WHAT IS WROING WITH ME???? 

Violet ?

It's been a while since I've been on here, I've tried pushing down what I need and it made things worse. 

When I first came on this site I was lost, broken even. I wad dealing with a lot of trauma and pain. I knew I had these needs and wants, but I know to some its disappointing or even disgusting.

I was in an abusive relationship in my younger years and I use to think it damaged me to the point where I was unlovable, unwanted... Even relationship since hasgone down the shitter, I tried to be normal, the good girlfriend, to be prefect but that's not who I am...

I'm not prefect, I have kinks and needs and that's okay, there in nothing wrong with that or me. 

I am Me ❤️

Hi again!

So it's been along few months! Finally after weeks and weeks of bullshit I have finally found out the truth and I feel so much better.

Feeling like I was the problem, that I was crazy, that I was stupid, but only to find out I found myself in yet another abusive relationship sucked dick! Not all parties were abusive but the head of the party was. Wanted me to be someone I wasn't, to write down a mintue by mintue play by play of my day, what I was doing every second. Was always up my ass about something, only to find out I was the only one getting this treatment was like a punch to that stomach! I was always being turned into someones twin, to be just the same as that other person. It was so draining and overwhelming, it drove me into a deep depression and my anxiety was driving me to throw up and over think everything.

Also being stocked by one said person and knew things I only shared within the party was messed up. I had to move and change up my daily schedule, because I felt too open and worried..... Only to find out it was a funny like trick to keep eyes on me..... And they said online dating would be fun....

Anyways on a much more happier note, being able to find people you can laugh, be funny, silly and still have a serious conversation is so refreshing and I'm so excited to feel safer and healthier!!! ?

Much brighter days ahead! 

Hey everyone, 

Its been awhile since I put anything out in here, either I was going to be attacked on what I wanted to share or made out to be a crazy, horrible person so I just stayed quite. Not having a voice again made me go into a deep depression and I'm probably not fully out of it yet. But here I am trying again to be all happy and out going. 

Look whatever happened, happened. All parties were to blame, end of story let's move on from it!

Easier said then done when it comes to someone telling you, I'm too young, not good enough, don't have enough experience, it's all your fault and so on. It takes a toll on you mentally and not having a place to go and talk about it has really sucked!

Also I've been dealing with someone sending me messages and trying to play mind games with me, digging into my past relationship and just being a troll, so that's fun!

I want to be someone and I also what them to love me for me! Is that too much to want and ask for?

-Violet and Hank-

Hi, it's been awhile. Been working on myself, my health and my mental health. It's been a nice few weeks of good laughs and spreading of my wings. Find myself smiling and laughing more now that I've discovered my self-worth and what I deserve!

Been worried about a beautiful lady in my life, well she's going through some stuff and is pushing everyone away, but I kept reminder her I'm there for her, no matter what. I hope she hears that one day. 

Right now I could use a really hard spanking and a hard, deep fuck, but sadly I'm just going to have to settle for snuggles with Hank! ?

Violet and Hank ??