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Not Ashamed Anymore

How do you start off one of those? Do you jump in with both feet or just float there hoping for the best?

Well for along time I was floater. I was ashamed of my needs and wants. I was already an outsider to my family and feeling what I was feeling, would it make it worse?

Then I thought if I step into this life and start looking for a Daddy, would I just been seen as another girl with daddy issues.

Its hard knowing you need something so deeply and badly and know it isn't the "normal". I'm not ashamed of myself anymore, but it does scare me. But here I am jumping with two fit in and I'm hoping to find the right Daddy for me.
2 years ago. Thursday, July 27, 2023 at 10:19 PM

I honestly feel so alone right now and sad. I didn't know where else to write it down my thoughts and feelings.... So here I am back again.

I thought I found my Daddy, someone who would take care of me, make me feel safe and loved, who gave me rules, tasks etc...

Things were good, great at first, I was his good girl. I let me walls down, but now he's gone, stopped responding to my messages, not even looking at them anymore and I feel so sad and alone. Seems like I wasn't good enough again.... 

Its been a couple of weeks now and I feel so empty and I just don't know what to do. When I'm not working I just sit and hope he will reach out, clear everything up but that doesn't happen. 

 

I feel so used and...... Why can't I be good enough??? Why can't I be enough?? 

 

WHAT IS WROING WITH ME???? 

 

Violet ?

 

 

 

 

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