It seems that many people, Doms and subs alike, come into this lifestyle hearing that "submission is a gift". We've all seen the MANY pictures on this particular subject. Here's the first 3 that came up on my Google search:
Before I get anymore into this, I'm not trying to say that you're not special or that your submission isn't beautiful. This is a personal opinion piece, and like others I've written before, I'd love to hear your side. Just clarifying.
I was talking about this with someone recently and it really got me thinking...
I AM a submissive. Period. It's not something that a do, it's not a side gig, it's me. Or I should say that it's part of me. I'm also Caucasian, green eyed, right handed, anxiety ridden, artistic, kind-hearted, and many other things. There are many things that make up who I am, and having to separate this one thing by calling it a "gift" isn't correct to me because it suggests that this part of me NEEDS to be separate. If I give you’re a right handed hand job while smiling with green eyes, did I give you a gift? No. Well, maybe *winks*
I am never NOT a submissive, but that doesn't mean that I'm living my life on my knees. My submission isn’t always physical act. If my Dom and I are around family, amongst co workers, or in front of children, you're not going to see any physical act. You may see me grabbing a coke for my Dom at a family picnic, but that's because it's an act of service and love that I would do in or out of a D/s relationship. My submission doesn’t just disappear because the situation calls for it. I think that those of you in 24/7 relationships understand this.
Moving on to the fact that it's called "a gift" because it demands to be taken care of... You damn right it does! But guess what? I'd expect that out of a vanilla relationship! Any time I join with another person to form a relationship, I expect that I'll be taken care of - and that I will take care of the other person, too! If that man is my vanilla husband, I'm still submissive to him because that is what I personally believe in. It won't be in the form of leather cuffs and fun sexy chains or commands, but it will still be there.
I crave rules, punishments and pain, humiliation and degradation, bondage and submitting – things I can only get from a dominant man. So I choose to be with dominant men.
And your dominance is not a privilege or something you need to do to earn my respect - the human inside you does that. If I don't respect you as a person, I'm sure as hell not going to respect you as a Dom.
It’s not a gift that I’m GIVING you. It’s a part of myself that I’m SHARING with you. It’s who we are and its beautiful!
So you've had a Dom who didn't treat your submission specially? Yeah, me too. Just the same as I've had vanilla relationships that were abusive and D/s relationships that were completely unfulfilling.
*shrugs*
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
