I know I'm a good bit on the daft side of life because I don't give a flying fuck about how I am perceived by most .
It's not a deliberate attempt at alienation to avoid contact or scrutiny. Nor do I walk around with nettles up me arse angry looking for conflict .
I just live how I do now from living many other lives over the last 59 years . School me was a poor learner in a place devoid of empathy in a time of brutalism it's ears closed to differences so I rescinded and I closed my ears and opened my mouth . This brought me the wrong attention but hindsight now shows me I was correct as I was screaming for help.
Teenage me was spat out of education branded a failure , banished at 15 separated from my peers and friends and left in the world totally unready. I was lost as fuck . Hindsight again tells me it was the real beginning of my education that summer I began a very different journey.
When it came to leaving teenage years and going into manhood I had already crashed and burned many times. Ups and downs . Experienced and experiences. The world itself was changing . Technology was beginning to show it's double headed demon. Hindsight shows I was without today's now essentials of connected connectivity to being connected in what was a blink of an eye in my life .
All along there was a strand of me of who I was of who I was going to be for the proceeding years right up to where I am today now.
This strand educated me and I graduated from the school of BDSM and was a scholar in the life trials and tribulations of a Dominant.
I developed within this world as a Dominant and as a person . I was thought many things that mainstream education would have told me was wrong was deviant was not good for my well being and so on but hindsight showed me BDSM educated me way better than any other form of education I had.
I learned more about myself than I ever think I would or could. I learned about people in a way that I find for me more real more deeper and on a more honest uncluttered non bullshit level. I know I do not meet someone on say a bus and openly discuss rules and protocols pertaining to the upcoming bus journey - you will sit facing forwards , no chatting to me unless I start talking first - and so on , no if I did that I would removed from said bus with a swift kick up my arse.
However meet someone in the BDSM world and I can delve deep into rules and protocols they can be opened up explored polished refined developed and all during that time no matter what is discussed or said no one gets kicked off the bus .
I know I'm supremely privileged and well grounded as a person as a dominant in this bdsm world and I have no problem walking in the two worlds as they both are different but they both are mine and they both are of huge importance in my life . So when I don't give a flying fuck about what people perceive me as it's not through not caring it's because I have so found my groove in life and I'm living it both of them as I best as I can without allowing myself be unhappy with either world. Both have their challenges and there's good times and bad times but in the end both are mine to do with what makes me feel better feel happy feel that I am being true to myself.
So my rules and protocols are real to me and do not disparage them because you're only in the BDSM world for your kicks. That's another bus journey to talk about . ..