(okay, maybe just my dilemma)
It seems so clear in theory:
Submissive's needs > Dominant's needs > Dominant's wants > Submissive's wants
And at first, this is great. Lots of lovely deep power exchange connection, all the happy hormones, happy submissive, happy dominant.
But then there comes a time when you think "Oh, but doing this thing will make them SO happy, it'll mean I have to put myself last or forego something, but that's okay".
And then some time will pass, and a protocol will be missed, or a minor rule broken. And you'll think "I don't want to ruin the mood, I'll let it slide this time".
Then you'll forget to follow up on a task, and think "Whoops, I'll just make sure to check next time".
Then you'll make a decision on something minor, and see that your submissive, while complying, clearly doesn't like it, and think "Okay, I'll change my decision, it's not that important, and I'd rather see them happy".
And so the slippery slope begins.
The self doubt. The questioning. The "taking the easy path". The balance between people pleasing and the D/s dynamic slowly tipping away from the latter and towards the former.
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Now to be clear, I think wanting to see a partner happy is absolutely a good thing.
But I've also found that from experience, within an established power dynamic it's important to keep the big picture in mind too. The short term pleasure from seeing a happy partner is great, but if it goes against the agreed D/s parameters, it can have a detrimental long term effect. Because just like it takes time and effort for an S-type to learn a new dynamic, I think a D-type learning to work within that dynamic also takes effort.
Personally, something I think I need to focus on more is reminding myself that a D-type sticking to a dynamic can be equally as rewarding for an S-type as giving in would be. Reminding myself that not only is putting myself first okay, this has actually been explicitly requested as part of a dynamic. And in addition, finding ways to enforce dynamics without "breaking the mood".
As with most things D/s-wise, I think this is also a bit of a combined effort. It will vary from dynamic to dynamic, but I think from the S-type side, giving praise or encouragement when their D-type puts themselves first can be extremely helpful. It's a small thing, but praise works both ways!
And yes, in both the case of a D-type putting aside people pleasing to maintain a long-term view, and the S-type providing encouragement immediately after not getting their way... this isn't easy. I'd go so far as to say it can be downright difficult.
I'd like to think it can be worth it though. After all, if a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing properly. And as far as "things" go, I place D/s pretty high up there!