"Submission is not how much you can take. It is about how well your needs are met so that you allow yourself to hand over complete control."
-A follower of a kink group I run.
The problem for me is that I truly am a lover. I give because it makes you feel good, not because you asked. I give because of the feeling I get knowing you're pleased. I give because it feels good to not choose but to be chosen, even when it's scarce or inconsistent. I'm never afraid to show how much I love or care. Even if it means being used. My abundance is tied to my openness and I always win, even if I lose love. So, fear is never a factor for me.
Truth is, I'd give even if it wasn't you. I'd give even if we're not clearly defined.
All this in hopes that someone will give to me, in the same way.
Dominating me won't feel like power; it feels like getting everything you've ever wanted and feeling safe enough to ask for it.
I want you to be so head over heels for me that you try to anticipate my needs because the version of me that feels safe is a filthy Mfr.
I want to know that even when I'm anxious and need to be reassured, that you choose to be soft with Bunny, because her foot stomps aren't really threats. They're just tiny warnings that I feel caged and out of control.
I always wonder between the point where a Mfr falls in love with me vs. the moment they realize my love is too big to grasp or grow in, what stops? What changes? Why does my honesty and attunement suddenly drive them away? I know I change. My tone, my allowances, my independence, my softness all change the moment I feel like you're taking my submission for weakness. What ya boy Gates say?; "I'm never a flunky. I was just vibing because I'm pure, genuine and I liked-ed your lil' energy but really fuck you."
But even in those moments, in others, I can see that that's not the bar. It is where they stoop when the current pulls them under. As a siren, do I feel bad for how hard they're wrecking or do I move on to the next person willing to listen to my song? Do I stop singing? At this point, I've considered just not singing anymore. No more showing you the most beautiful parts of myself, no more opening your heart\mind\emotions to something so overwhelmingly amazing that your senses are all overpowered with pleasure, no more waiting for the storm, no more watching from the rocks hoping your love for me is enough to save yourself. (Yes sirens are misunderstood)
I digress. The whole point of this post was to say, "I'll submit to you, if you submit to me. That is true domination."
-Bunny.
I allow dominance because you're willing to submit to me, as well.