Y'all use kegel balls, right? I prefer to call them Ben Wa Balls. It's more fun to say! 😁
There's so many kinds! Big ones, little ones, glass ones, metal ones...I went with black glass. This morning, I found some on Etsy that are necklaces 😲 just hang it around your neck as a decoration until you're ready to shove it up your hoohah!! How convenient!
Anyhoo... Mine came with this really cool holder on a string. Apparently pretty common place. I've used them many times, and when I'm done, I pull the string and wah-lah! Balls in hand!
Well, today I decided I was ready to go wireless. Erm... String less. I mean, I'm supposed to be growing in experience, right? The Little in me viewed it as going from a sippy cup to a big kid cup. If I could do this, I could conquer the world!! One kegel ball at a time! 🤭
Well, after inserting them and walking around a bit, I decided to play a little before removing them. So, got in bed, got comfy, let the games commence! Ahhh-mazing orgasm btw!! 🔥🔥 When I stood up, PLOP! First ball bounced to the floor. But where's the second?! I reached in, couldn't feel it!! Searched the bed, under the sheets, maybe I didn't feel it come out! NOPE! Damn thing was still inside!!
Okay, no worries. I mean, I can't be the first person to shove a glass ball in their va-jay-jay and get it lost, right?!😲🤷🏻♀️ So, I did what any first timer would do, I completely panicked and ran to Google! Thankfully, the first 37 articles I read told me it cannot get lost. Whew! The last thing I need is my epitaph to read: Here lies Bleiz. Went to E.R. for ball removal, left with pelvic muscles like steel and CoVid-19 because she couldn't stay home like she was supposed to. D'oh!!
So, it was time to get this thing out of me! First thing I read was to squat. Okay, no biggie. I squatted, reached up, couldn't feel anything! Tried pushing. Nothing.
Attempt 2. Relax. Wtf ever! Yeah. Didn't happen. I'm much too worried that I'll have to explain to everyone why I'm in the emergency room, relaxing is impossible at this point.
Attempt 2.5 I decided jumping jacks. You know, use gravity, a natural force to help me. 50 jumping jacks, reach down, still nothing. Dammit.
Go back to Google. Still says relax. Just relax. I CAN'T FUCKING RELAX THERE'S A BALL LOST IN ME!!
*Deep breath*
Attempt 3. Maybe if I pee, it'll come out.
NOPE.
Attempt 4. More squats. Still nothing. 🤦🏻♀️
Okay, maybe relaxing IS the key. I head to the bedroom. My plan now is to fall asleep, and while sleeping, Mr. Sandman will come, with his best friend Kegel Fairy and she'll remove the ball and leave a nickel under my ass. 🤷🏻♀️ A girl can dream, right?
Well, on the way to my room, I had a coughing fit. It was that deep hard cough. And BOOM! Out shoots ball number 2!!!! 🥳 WHOOHOO!!!!😲
So, in case this ever happens to you, jump straight to attempt 5. 🤭 Needless to say, I'm not sure if I'm ready for string less just yet.
On a positive, my pelvic floor and I are ready to take on the world!! 💪🏻
