In re-reading my blog from last night, I realize it seemed … A little bleak.
Don’t get me wrong, I have HOPE … an ENORMOUS amount of it for the future!!
I know that right now, as I mentioned in a previous blog, I am in my metamorphic state … where I am changing, growing the most. And that this is THE most painful and exhausting stage. As the changes take place and the struggle continues in shedding my previous self, and the transformation takes place, there will be times I need to just rest, and be quiet. Let my mind and heart rest and be safe.
Right now, that is where I am. Need to try to quiet my mind, quiet my heart and just rest and re-energize, and recoup. Because I know I need to, because right now, I am just tired. Because I know there is still more to come. It is both during the struggling and rest, that the most growth takes place.
As much as I want this part to be over, it cannot be. I must go through it all, experience it all, feel it all. So I can grow from it. I know that. It always seems to take me some time to realize that, sometimes, I just need to stop and rest, and let nature take its course. The way things need to.
The difficult part in that, is trying to keep my little under control. She is uncomfortably close to a full blown melt-down, temper tantrum to get my way, to have my way! (If you wonder what she looks like - this picture is soooo me!) 
I WANT what I WANT!! NOW! Unfortunately, that is not going to happen as quickly as I would like. So, I am going to try very hard to stay calm, breathe.
I know I am anxious … and yes, impatient. I want to run towards my future. Partly because I know how short life can be. And I feel I’ve lost/wasted so much of mine denying myself. And I don’t want to do that one minute longer. I want it all. I want it all now! I want to enjoy how much life and excitement my future has to offer. I just want it now (I know, I know… patience). Something my little SEVERELY lacks. 🙄🙄 SOOO … in trying to keep her calm … I MUST rest, rejuvenate … breathe … just breathe.
And remind myself “EVERYTHING IS A MIRACLE” and that I truly believe things happen for a reason, and they happen WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT. So … okay … breathing … (but hurry up … pleeeasssse??) (LOL … sorry .. can’t help myself!)
At least I can still laugh at myself! Always a good sign … right???🤔
