Sometimes, I get to the point that I just become silent, needing to retreat within my cocoon, even though I know I am out-growing it, it is my back-up place, what I know.
Frustration, need, chaos in my head, wants, craving.
The person I want the most to be here with me, or to be where they are, is not. I can’t just say “I need you now” and He can be here, where I can feel His arms around me, the touch of His hand, His voice in my ear. I just read one of SCG’s latest posts on making LDRs work.
I understand that each relationship has its own set of unique challenges, however, for those who do get to have their Daddy/Master/Sir every day, see them, touch them, talk face-to-face, please enjoy it and do not take it for granted. Being in a LDR adds a whole other dimension of issues and challenges.
For those in LDRs … we would give ANYTHING to have even just one minute of real touch, real talk. We wait, anxiously, impatiently for that little sound on our phone indicating we have a message, or when their name appears on the screen. Time with them, ANY time is precious, and we crave it so. It is important for us to know they are thinking of us too, without us initiating. It is important for us to hear their voice. What we would give for just a minute of those things every day.
We submissives are needy things. They (Doms) must know this. We need to feel safe and secure, accepted. Yes, we need them to teach us and guide us through this very intense world of emotional and physical awareness and discovery. But most of all, we need their reassurance, consistency and love. Everyday. We devote our thoughts every waking moment to our Daddy/Master/Sir. Is it any wonder why when that is not readily available to us for periods of time, that we become emotional shipwrecks? Now add the LD factor to that, where you don’t have that physical, face-to-face time to wash away all those insecurities. Choosing this lifestyle alone is difficult, choosing to be in a LDR is that much more difficult. Don’t get me wrong, I do not regret my decision. Just know that when you do, whether Dom or sub, it takes effort, consideration every day to make time, to let each other know, what they mean to us. Remember the old saying, “it’s the small things that make a difference”.
In the good times, bad times and even the ugly times … I wouldn’t change my decision.
I read something today …
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though EVERYTHING IS A MIRACLE”. by Albert Einstein
I am mostly a believer of the latter, that things happen for a reason … but, there are some moments, when things get overwhelming, it is a struggle not to be overcome with thoughts, doubts and fears that draw you towards the other. That is when we need our Daddy/Master/Sir’s reassurances.
I have been doing a lot of thinking these days. How short life is. Like everyone, I've experienced a lot in my life. Painful times, loss of dear friends taken from us much too early, fear of losing those I love too soon. It is because of those things, because we know things can change in a minute, as I get older, I have come to know how life works. Life is fleeting and it is precious. I believe with all my heart, when you find happiness, when you find someone who fills your heart, gives you hope for the future, and faith in yourself, you have to grab hold and hold on to them.
I don’t know what is in store for my future. So, for now, I will hold on. And will just be silent.
❤❤❤❤❤
