(Previous post edited and re-posted) ... with the understanding these qualities also apply to women (subs)...but for this purpose I am focusing from a sub's perspective ...
It is quite simple really, a good Dominant has a strong sense of ethics, honesty and is respectful. A person who masquerades behind these qualities, usually is discovered at some point as the fraud they are. Unfortunately it destroys and overshadows any good in the relationship. When discovered, hopefully it is with the least amount of devastation left in their wake.
To be a good Dominant takes more than a crop, a stern look, demands or a firm voice.
The basic foundation is Trust.
Without trust, there is nothing of substance. No substance to the dynamic nor the person.
Let's take being a Dom out of the equation for a moment. Because in my opinion, you cannot be a true and good Dom, if you are not a good MAN first.
A good man has integrity. That means, being strong enough in character to be HONEST. Honest about himself, honest about his situation ... just honest.
I consider myself a feminist, to a degree. I believe in equal rights, the right to choose our own lives and paths.
When there is deceit, a man takes that choice away from the sub. Forcing her, manipulating her, to unwittingly make a choice based on a lie. A GOOD man owns up to who he is and his mistakes and fears.
But make no mistake ...
Lying is a CHOICE.
It is NOT an accident.
It is deliberate.
IT IS THE ACT OF A COWARD.
It is meant to deflect, it is trickery. And in my personal opinion, the worst kind of emotional harm to a person.
A good man gives a woman the chance to choose for herself, knowing ALL the facts before entering into or continuing in a relationship with him. As well, as things evolve in the relationship.
The difficult part of becoming involved with Doms who are deceitful is there are attributes that are portrayed that make a sub feel comfortable, feel that she has found someone with integrity and who cares and is good.
If one wants to gain the respect of peers and the acceptance of submissives, then one should take the time to look within themselves. Be honest with themselves and others.
Our honesty and integrity are the bricks of a good foundation for a relationship.
These are the most powerful ways to show how much you love, cherish and respect someone.
He respects enough to be completely honest with every facet of Him, even when it's difficult.
This is how we subs can feel safe and secure in our Dom, in the relationship and allows us to be completely open with Him. It provides the security we need to be completely vulnerable with Him without harm to our heart.
That's what a good and true Dominant is. He IS His submissive's safest place.
And please, when a sub makes the decision to separate and asks to leave her alone, at least have the decency to respect that!!
By continuing to try to manipulate your way back into a relationship again, is just one more form of manipulation of her feelings. Certainly not respectful of her wishes.
