I need to take that step and just fall. Why am I so afraid? Afraid of not being perfect. I will never be perfect, no one can obtain that. He see me for me. He’s never said once that he wants perfection. real beauty is in imperfections
I need to shut up, close my eyes and listen to what has been said over and over. I need to hear it, truly hear it.
I need to fight the fear, that fear that is not there. Just listen, listen hard and hear what he’s said.
I’ve been ready for awhile now, but there was a fear that gnawed at me. That fear was me. I was the one attacking myself . No fear from anywhere else, just me.
I need to read the words laid out before me, absorb them repeat them, read them out loud.
I need to do this for me
i need to do this to show respect for him
I need to do this to value a relationship that is starting to bloom.
i need to take to my knees, and turn my wrists upward. I’m need to fall, ready for protocols.
my mouth is shut from speaking only of me, my mouth is open to speak structure and speak back of wanted needs that have been told to me.
for those that only play in a D/S relationship you will never know it’s heart. Will Never know it’s depths, never hear it’s voice, never know true dominance nor submission. Never know what it truly is. But if you drop to your knees and bare yourself, you will hear it. You will see it’s beauty. You will see the cuts and bruises to get here. To let yourself break down to be built back up by one that truly wants you, that is what this is all about.
to finally cut yourself open and bleed out and be brought back to grow into the person you are meant to be, that is the beauty of a D/S relationship.
To say to yourself, be the submissive who listens and does what is my true desire to serve my Dom. A true submissive is not used and cast aside, she is loved. She must open her soul to service and let herself go.
I must listen and listen hard I want to learn more and more each day, each hour and each minute, oh god how I want to serve at his orders not my stubborn voice.
I will I must follow protocol and know my boundaries and know the wishes he desires. I yearn and ache to serve as he wishes. I never want to hurt him or dishonor him. I must let my final wall fall. I must fall.
