Therapy-Yay or Nay?
Do you think that when a couple starts a relationship, they should attend couples therapy? i firmly believe it should be a requirement of the relationship, and then be utilized as needed. It doesn't mean you are crazy, weak, or whatever you might think. It would help so much in the communication department; one side can be saying the same thing over and over, and the other side hears it but isn't catching on or is completely struggling with what is being said. So, that leads to tension between the two, causing doubt.
There is a book I am currently reading titled Come Let Us Reason by Norman L. Geisler, and there is a passage that I have underlined, circled, and noted. It is an excerpt from Alice in Wonderland and a conversation with The Mad Hatter and March Hare-
"Then you should say what you mean," the March Hare went on. "I do : Alice hastily replied; "at least- as least I mean what I say- that's the same thing, you know."
"Not the same thing a bit!" said the Hatter "Why, you might as well say that 'I see what I eat' is the same thing as 'I eat what I see'
"You might just as well say" added the March Hare "that 'I like what I get' is the same thing as 'I get what I like!"
"You might just as well say" added the Dormouse. "That 'I breathe when I sleep' is the same thing as 'I sleep when I breathe'!"
"It is the same thing with you" said the Hatter
Confusing isn't it? Looks like a run around in the conversation of one trying to say the same thing. Many people have this conversation with their partner, which can lead to such a conflict. They may have a wonderful ability to have a productive conversation in so many areas of their life, but there might be one area of major importance that is a struggle, and both are trying to speak, but it is heard differently; it's not that the other is disregarding what the other says, or the importance of what is wanted, not at all. When I say, "i am struggling" or "i am not understanding," it does not mean i don't hear what is said or don't want to do what is said. Then more words fly and are told 'you really don't want to do this, otherwise you would just do it, it's not that hard or complicated' So the above book passage rang true to me.
i never thought i would be a person who would attend therapy. But in 2019 it became a reality. i was in a lot of pain from unresolved issues that i didn't know that i had. i thought i lived a happy healthy life, but Bishop pointed out that it wasn't what it seemed. So off to therapy, i went; Bishop said it was a requirement to attend therapy and do the work.
Therapy went very well, and my eyes were truly opened to the mental abuse i grew up with, which showed me how i acted in relationships, and Codependency- something i never knew of, what it was, or what it did.. So i attended sessions religiously, and got to a point where it became i didn't need it as much, and continued to work on my own, Then came along another set back, and i headed back in for weekly sessions, putting everything out on the table. I made a lot of discoveries and ways to navigate and i shared the highlights. Now i attend monthly, and can add more sessions as needed.
Therapy can and does help so much, and the stigma needs to be broken and thrown away. It helps beyond measure. Attend your sessions, encourage your partner, and attend couples sessions. Don't let each other down. If you want a happy, healthy, strong, kinky relationship, why wouldn't you participate for yourself and the "Greater Good"?