Three or fours years or so I cooked a huge Christmas feast for my staff, because we worked holidays. My younger sister & family had recently moved back to GA and I invited them to join us. We played a silly game after dinner that had me laughing along with everyone else. As we were cleaning I was chatting with my sister about how funny the game was and said that was the hardest and most I’d laughed in forever. I said “I don’t laugh much anymore”. It was a simple statement but true. My life had become one day being a carbon copy of the next and other than my pets, I had very little joy in my life. Certainly nothing to bring on laughter. Not long after this I went through a dark time. During those days I was just existing and truly didn’t plan to do that much longer.
One morning I woke up and the clouds were or clear. For the first time in months I didn’t feel like my existence was a burden on humanity. I decided that day to change the narrative of my life and I did exactly that. I made huge sweeping changes in my life. No more routine that I had wedged myself into, change change change. Some were positive and enjoyable and others were gut wrenching. I left a wake of disaster behind me in some cases. I focused on me, for the very first time on my life. I have and did for others where I could but never to the detriment of me. This was completely unlike me. I like to say that I rebuilt myself during this period. I found myself again.
During this time I reconnected with my Master from 17 years before. Through every relationship I had, no man had ever measured up, and that statement is true to this day. I’ve carried his ownership mark on my body for all of our years apart and never had it removed or covered. I always knew that I belonged to him, I guess, it was always him. That indelible impression. I was happy but never content because of the distance. We’d spend fantastic weeks together but as soon as we were apart I’d turn into a desperate clingy mess. We managed it but it was quickly apparent that I needed more to be complete. He strongly suggested (Maybe ordered) I find a girlfriend/submissive. I was resistant at first but knowing he was right, I was lonely and needed a companion that was more than a friend.
I always knew I liked women. I’d had solo and threesome experiences throughout my adulthood. I also knew that I was dominant towards women. So I embarked on the search to find a female to date. Dating the same sex isn’t any less drama-filled than dating the opposite sex. I was traumatized soon into it. Lied to and even worse I dated one woman who gas lighted me so badly that I truly thought I was losing my mind. She made me question if I was the good person I had always thought I was. At the end of our relationship I started spending more and more time in the chat rooms here. It was a safe place that she was not in and I could relax and not have every statement scrutinized and questioned I wanted to end things but I was terrified of what she might do to me if I did, as I’d seen her retaliate against others who had crossed her. The chat room became my safe place and I enjoyed myself there. One night I met Laura aim the chat room and the rest is Cage history my blogs are full of missives of love and devotion... feel free to read and vomit from the sickenly sweet content. There is absolutely no shame in how I feel about her amd how devoted I am to our journey and relationship. My Master approves and graciously has allowed us to grow and love, asking very little from me during this time. I love him and I’m forever grateful.
Now, onto the subject of this blog. I know it’s a long and winding way to get here, but I blog like I talk and the story isn’t enough without exposition.
Laughter....
I recently realized how much I laugh now. Giggles, snickers. chortles, guffaws, evil chuckles, and great big belly laughs that hurt my ribs and bring tears to my eyes. My days are filled with joy and laughter. Oh, how my existence has changed! I greet the day happily and look forward to tomorrow This doesn’t mean I don’t have down days, I’m human, but they are rare and even with a sad day, i find joy. I grateful for those very dark times in my past and for the sometimes painful changes I had to make to get to this place.
Service isn’t always about being ass up for a flogging. Service is about filling a need even if it wasn’t something you realized was missing. Laura has helped me find my laughter and induces it more often then not. She makes me laugh, y’all. We are silly and find joy in the smallest things or moments. I forgot how obnoxious and loud my laughter could be until I met her. Her service to me encompasses so much more, but the last few days I’ve been reflecting on how she helped me find my laughter again. I’m forever grateful that she chose me and that we are now spending our lives together.
In the great words on the basic white girl distressed wood sign hanging over millions of couches.... “Live, Laugh, Love” and never regret the journey that brought you to where you ended up. 💗❤️💗❤️
