switch101(switch male)

a place where everything is not okay

just my thoughts about being in a country which have no freedom of any kind

Sorry for reposting but I really need a solution

4 years ago. December 25, 2019 at 2:39 PM

Is it okay for my to have a link between real life situations and intimate punishment?

I said something stupid in front of our friends and I really embarrassed my girlfriend (we are both switches) and I apologised for that but she suggested that I should be punished for what I did, at first sight I thought she forgave me and wanted to get intimate

But turns out she was serious, she said that I should get consequences for my actions and she won't forgive me until I accept the punishment.

So I did accept to get punished and she caned me quite alot that day.

After a few days I told her I would do something and forgot and got punished again

And one time after that

I'm kind of okay with that but as I said we are switches and yesterday she said something hurtful to me and she apologised but I suggested that I should get to punish her too

She got angry at me and said that I just want to spank her for intimate reasons not as a real punishment

And I don't, I just think what goes on me should go on her

Am I wrong?

Alluracurious - Your not wrong but talk it over...

4 years ago

switch101(switch male) - Her terms are that she only could punish me with (spanking, belting, caning, paddling) based on what I do wrong and to agree the punishment is not sexual but only disciplinary, and to keep our sexual switch relationship as it is
Should I agree?

4 years ago

Alluracurious - That is your decision...be true to yourself and it will all work out

4 years ago

IowaDom(dom male) - There are a couple things that seem imperative here...
1. A real discussion on hard/soft limits - very specific
2. Time for a written agreement on the subject, regardless of what you agree on, time to put it in writing

if the contract is broken, you need to consider if you are willing to accept somebody that will continue to do that. It seems you have already set a precedent that you will, so it is time for some hard lines to "turn the tide" as they say

4 years ago

switch101(switch male) - Thank you all, me and her we've had a rough history which I blogged here, and limits have always been a problem with us, I really think we should have a serious talk about the subject

4 years ago

IowaDom(dom male) - twer me, both the talk and the contract wold be requirements to continue

4 years ago

HGB(sub female){Scottish M} - I fear this is the one you broke up with. You really need to look at yourself. Know you have value as a human. I don't like where my mind is going here. I hope it is wrong.i wish you the best.

4 years ago

switch101(switch male) - She is, but we resolved most of our issues, but here comes another one

4 years ago

djinni(dom female){smplylaura} - I've already given my view, but you might want to move this to the forums as not everyone reads the blogs.

4 years ago

switch101(switch male) - Thank you, I will

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - Djinni is right, forums might be a better platform since it's... well.... forums~

A common thing I'm seeing with the responses to your blogs [I saw both] is communication.
I agree with the others.
Talk it over. Set limits.

Ultimately, I want to ask you a few questions too.

-Would letting your girlfriend punish you like so, and this agreement make YOU happy?
[From what "tone" I picked up from your blogs, I'd guess not? However, tone has a marvelous way of being lost in text. So I never like to assume.]

-You mentioned you're both switches, would that be fair in your opinion that you couldn't punish her when she gets to punish you like so?

-Would this be SAFE to you/in your limits? [Meaning that her punishments for you will be within your limits since you mentioned whipping and caning]

Just a few questions I'd ask myself before proceeding.

4 years ago

switch101(switch male) - I'm okay with being punished by her when I do something wrong I believe it can make our relationship better
I don't think it's fair as we agreed it would be a sexual switch relationship at the beginning but then she said that this punishment is not sexual it's disciplinary for me which is confusing
She used to exceed my limits and we broke up for a while because of that but we got back together and she didn't exceed my limits since then

I'm okay with giving her the higher power in the relationship she cares for me and always wants the best for me
But I don't know what will that do with our relationship
We've been on and off for more than a year

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - Well. The answers you gave me are things I think you should tell her~ ^_~

4 years ago

switch101(switch male) - We talked it over, I think we're good, thanks for the help I really appreciate it

4 years ago

switch101(switch male) - I agreed on being punished and the severity of the punishment based on what I did (we listed possible events) and I don't get a say on whether I was wrong or not she decides that

She agreed on being punished but only when she agrees she did something wrong

We agreed on our limits

We agreed not to mix this with our normal sexual lives

I'm happy with those terms so thank you again

4 years ago

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switch101​(switch male)

a place where everything is not okay

Sorry for reposting but I really need a solution

switch101(switch male)