Yes, I'm quoting Ani DiFranco...deal with it. I'm not a pretty girl and I don't mean that as an insult or self put down. It's a fact; I happily embrace it. There are no words imagining what life would be like if I were a pretty girl; things are hard enough without that. I am constantly assessed based on my gender, height (lack there of), looks, and am often considered a non-threat but unapproachable.
Self control, inner strength, the stubbornness to buckle down, get things done, being in control is what I do, its who I am. There is rarely a "soft" side to me that others get to see. I am hard, I am harsh, I wear my armor daily. I am not a damsel in distress, or a kitten stuck up in a tree somewhere. Even if I were don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down whether or not someone shows up? Yep..more Ani, but it fits.
I rage at others for limiting my choices, making decisions that affect me and others. Decisions being made by people that are not my peers, not my social and/or economic class, not even my gender, but are determining what I am and am not allowed to do. Straight up utter BS! My boxing gloves are always near, ready to be put on, taped hands or not, I will come up swinging every time.
How can an enraged, pink pussy hat wearing, female take off the boxing gloves and be even remotely submissive? The big difference is that it's my choice. At any given time I can choose not to, I can stop it! I can say "Red", "Unicorn", "Purple Donkey Dicks"...whatever the word is and it ends. Everytime I waiver and think "How can I be okay with...?", I remind myself its a choice; a very powerful choice.
