My Very Own Jeremiad

My  mind in blown…absolutely blown away!  For once I am giddy, excited and hyped, almost too keyed up and I’m never this way, so it scares me a bit.  Stubborn as I am, it only took 6 months to finally listen to all of the advice and get off my ass and go out into the real world and explore my local community.   However, I will rewind and hopefully along the way it will explain how I got here.
 
I’ve had a rough personal month and this past week was full of trials. This last week it was saying goodbye to the beloved Moose (my son’s best friend) a great dane, credit card fraud, holding ex’s hand through some major medical processes/minor surgery, having my son all week unexpectedly so am behind on the holiday shopping/wrapping/cleaning…
 
Yesterday, morning I log into Fet to see about a rope event that I want to attend; only to discover my sponsor could no longer attend and has asked a friend to sponsor me instead. Which of course was nerve wrecking….there is a ton of trust there now between sponsors and I need to really watch myself and keep my sarcastic mouth in check.  After getting on chat and realizing it’s a big deal but not huge, that I just need to pull on my panties, grow a pair, and attend. I continue on my day.
 
Which of course leads me to the one place in the United States that feels like home, Boston. Drove up the 1.5 hours, parked, and took the T in.  Yes, I had a hair appointment, so there was a reason, but I realized that I need to soothe my soul more often and go up much more regularly.  That in itself is a blog for another time…note to self JI missed my stop, but it was as if the universe was looking out for me and I truly enjoyed my walk through the commons to get to Newbery St.  God, I love that city.  Great day, minus the getting lost around Providence, stupid RI and their construction, only took 2.5 hours to get home.
 
Which of course means I am now rushing around.  What to wear, what not to wear, I missed the forums that I was hoping to attend….Do I have my rope, where the hell are my shears???  You know the craziness.
 
I finally roll up to the place.  Walk in meet, my sponsor for the night, get the tour and walk back to one of  the lounges to wait and socialize.  I am pleasantly surprised my original sponsor is there along with one other person I met at a munch previously in the month. We talk, they introduce me around and I feel much more at ease…now class begins!
 
It wasn’t a true class, it was what they called a rope free for all, non-scenes encourage everyone to ask questions, try ties, ask for help….It was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever done.  I practiced/learned ties on others, myself, and got tied up as well.  Loved all of it!  4 hours went by too quickly.  Not only did a learn rope, but I met some great people too, which is bonus!
 
I’m home and am still practicing ties.  I’m feeling better about living in this god awful state (Connecticut) because I may have met my people, I may have found my bacon!  I am no closer in figuring out what I am, top, bottom, sub, switch….I do know I like rope.  For now that will be enough. 
 
For everyone else that is too shy, too reserved, too uncomfortable….just get your ass out there! You may be pleasantly surprised!