He messaged me...we talked. Because communication is key right...? That's what I've been told time and time again. But I wish we didn't have to talk...
He kept saying how it was his fault and he didnt set the scene so it was awkward. He said he couldn't get out of his head and that he was battling with Fantasy vs. Reality. He kept saying it wasn't me or how I look but deep down I know that was part of the reason. Me standing there like a (naked) deer in headlights as I wait for his orders...
Weeks of building a relationship...weeks of building up our trust with one another...taking the risk of meeting during a pandemic...for what? Absolutely nothing.
Now I'm back to square 1 again and I honestly don't know if I can start over. Putting myself out there today was hard, it took a lot of nerve and I don't know if I can do that a second, third, or forth time.
I really don't...
