Yesterday I met with the head of NM:TNG. After the meeting I was exhausted. I mean completely wiped out emotionally, physically, psychologically.
I got into the car and recounted the conversation to My love.
It had gone incredibly well.
I took lots of notes and am optimistic for a collaboration.
I learned a lot. She is so smart and has organized large events for the better part of her adult life. She gave me amazing tips. I have always organized small events. So I'm in over my head here. She agreed to come to the event and critique it!!!! That was so awesome to hear!!!!
But.....
And there is always a but.
I was very clear that she needed to check in with her group BEFORE we finalized anything.
I kept reiterating this.
She said "I am Switzerland."
I said "I am not. "
She said "Cant we all just recognize that we are all kinky and get along?"
I drew a deep breath and looked at my paper but did not respond.
It was after I told my love about the conversation that she had the best insight.
My love said "you were defeated during this conversation. Considering what has happened in the past that makes sense".
It was like a lightbulb went off.
I've been through this before.
I meet with someone. They get excited about what a collaboration can do and what I can offer.
Then they go home and tell their friends or group and next thing I know they dont tell me they are pulling out I get to read about what an abusive asshole I am.
I kept telling her- dont commit until you run it by your group because I dont want to alienate your base.
I also kept saying you dont owe me an explanation for anything. I just need to know end product.
She said she could get me her class description, bio, pic, and class name yesterday.
I said "check with your group first."
So now I wait.
My goal with Through the Looking Glass is to have a collaboration with all speakers.
My thought is when groups cross post and cross promote we all win. It also gets harder for the gossip mill to keep up the rumor that all the groups are warring.
I'm so tired just recounting this.
I am waiting for the turn from her so I can read about how much of a problem I am.
I will keep doing what I do.
The collaboration goal will remain.
We can do this.