Walking into last night I wasn't expecting a lot of people. Numbers whether they are high or low don't tend to bother me. I figured we'd have about 9 people. I was wrong. We had really good numbers last night, a ton of new people, and holy shit the play party was freaking awesome!!
It started out, and here's where I just giggle at myself, we didn't have paper cups, plates, or silverware. We had to wait till somebody donated at the door for us to go get paper goods.
Our gratefulness was that we had enough toilet paper.
For this party I was completely different.
I sat outside in the beginning. I greeted people as they came through the gate. I just took it easy. I did not have the brain power to do the door. That just was not going to happen, so I needed to make sure that I was keeping an eye on everybody.
Then the mysterious and magical Vanna showed up. Vanna has been working on this thing called "The Box" and she brought it last night. It's not completely done but it is beautiful! We've decided to name it the sexhedron. It is 4 independently standing pillars connected at the top. Lots of eye bolts for tying people up. The sex sling is in the process of being made. Once done it will go in the middle !!! Its app 10×10.
Throughout the night people were outside on the deck and playing under the stars. People were utilizing that piece of equipment all night long. I was over the moon.
There's still some work that needs to be done on it before its ready for May 18th, but the joy and fun of which we are already infusing into her, was palpable.
Lil Miss is retiring from Obsidian and moving out of state. Last night was the last play party will we be together where she is actually a part of Obsidian. She made me a cake. It was a booby cake with a black and red corset. It was so good!
Lil Miss came with her new beau. I liked him right away. Smart, independent, not a dick. Lil Miss had mentioned that maybe they wanted to get a lesson from me on flogging.
I played that by ear because he is a new D type to her and I don't want to step on any toes. I don't want him to feel like people look down on him for whatever his style is.
So, last night were all outside on the back deck and he ties up Lil Miss on the sexhedren and he turns to me and says "what do you think?"
I thought Okay you are comfortable with me coming in here. I worked a little bit with Lil Miss on the sexhedron and then I said "the best way to do this is to untie her and let's take it from the beginning."
I worked with him on positioning, thinking it through, and putting the emotional intent of the scene above all. Even though the flogger is in your hand what else are you going to use and do before that flogger? It was a soft moment for me and I was deeply grateful to be a part of his growth.
I have a different style when it comes to teaching flogging then most people I've seen. For me it isn't about me, it's absolutely about these two people being able to connect. Listening to Lil Miss moans and breathing patterns, it was just a joy. I don't take over. I would show him what I was doing. I would demonstrate. I would say "can I touch you?" Then step back.
When it comes to this kind of teaching it is all about building the energy between the two of them.
All of the play was wonderful!!! There was so much fun, beauty, and joy.
It was the absolutely perfect mix of people who didn't look like me!!! Non-binary, trans, altsex, POC. It was exactly what I had hoped it would be. I saw some people that I hadn't seen in a long time and I came up and give them the biggest hug.
There's a generalized excitement about May 18th. So I'm very excited about that.
Later in the night about 2 in the morning when things were kind of calming down, somebody started a scene and I was just watching.
They turned to me and said "can you work with us a little bit?"
I'm always honored to do that so I said sure.
The first question that I asked them is "what's your Dynamic? Are you top/ bottom? Is there a power exchange?" They didn't have a lot of answers for that and I said "okay those are things you're going to want to think about."
Then I said " let's just kind of work this out and as we go we make adjustments."
It started with a very interesting exchange. She said "where do you want me?"
He said "where do you want to be?" Then she went over to the table and bent over.
I stopped them at this point and I said "what just happened here?"
They're looking at each other and they're looking at me because this is how they normally do things.
I said " what just happened here is she asked for you to take control. You did not take control. So she did. What that means is if she doesn't trust you to take control then she's going to have to. Out of self-preservation. So let's try this again."
I separated the two of them we pretended there was a room between them and I told him "think of the three things that you want to take control of. Do you want her to be sitting, standing, laying? Do you want to be facing towards you or facing away? Lastly, how is it that you want to present yourself when you enter into the room? In other words what's your intent the scene?"
He said or him the intention is sexual.
I said "perfect we can work with that."
I had him walk back in and take control of the space. As the scenes were progressing it became easier for him to take that control. I really enjoyed watched his evolution.
In their personal dynamic she is used to saying "what do you want?" Then he throws it back to her. Since he's not making a decision she does. Getting them to break that pattern during a scene was really interesting. Once he saw it he was able to change it pretty quickly.
Beloved , I, and Lil Miss co topped just the cutest cutest cutest guy. He was just adorable.
The way cool thing was how much love, laughter, and a sense of real community permeated the event.
In the end I had people come to me and say thank you so much and they feel so very welcome and that that is a really big deal. That's something that we strive for and they'll be seeing us on May 18th.
I'm just so excited!
So to put a little bit of truth out there. I was starting to have really bad second thoughts about May 18th.
What is it doing to us? What are we trying to do? Does this matter? Why am I bothering?
With all of this running through my head our other partner said go watch this documentary on Fyre Festival.
I'm like sure, whatever, yeah this will help me. I'm going to humor you but I don't anticipate this changing my life---- well it did. Fyre festival, for those of you guys who don't know, was a music festival that people were paying $10,000 to $250,000 per person for. What basically happened is they showed up and there's no music, no villas, no food, no water, no sanitation. They did have tents with soggy mattresses.
So I thought to myself "as bad as stuff could potentially go on May 18th. At least I'm not that guy!"
The Obsidian team reminded me that IT IS A GOOD THING the event is going to be small.
We are expecting between 60 and 90 people, which is small for us.
They reminded me "Let's keep it small until we really get our systems down."
I stopped pursuing vendors at this point. I'm just focusing on processes. What are the processes that need to happen?
What are the processes that we can utilize to make it bigger with controlled chaos?
It was really great to be able to talk to the team about this. We might be small this time out but we actually need to be until we have our own selves figured out.
It was a perfect party, with so many amazing conversations. I am still in after glow.
