Before we can be healthy in our M/s relationships, we need to be healthy balanced people. This does not mean that everything is always under control. It does not mean that you do not have mental illnesses or physical disabilities. It does not mean that you are a perfect person. It in no way means that you do not fail. It in no way means that you are a financially set before you can be a Master or slave.
That is not what I am saying.
What I am saying is that to be healthy in our relationships we need to be healthy inside of our own selves. This means that sometimes we do things that are seemingly opposite of our identities.
I strongly believe that a person’s BDSM identity cannot be the only thing that fulfills them. This idea creates the expectation that an identity encompasses the entirety of a person’s being. That someone should have complete fulfillment because the drive to lead or serve.
We are all complex multifaceted people. Being a Master is a huge part of my life, but not my entirely. The same with my love’s slavery.
My slave and I have different interests, hobbies, and desires. These differences do not make us grow further apart, instead they allow us to refresh and come back to each other better.
I am not intimidated by her ability to create. It in no way takes away from her service to me. Instead, she thinks of new ways to serve me. My love makes bath and beauty products. This inspired and awakened her. It ignite a passion that pushed and challenged her in ways that I could not. I viewed my job, as her Master was to support her at every turn.
Now I have the best homemade soaps, lotions, and magical items at my fingertips.
I love my horses. My love does not “do” horses. However, she supports my being away from her when I am with them. My love does not pout, emotionally punish, or withdraw service or affection when I spend time with my horses. (Which is critical because I spend time with them daily.)
I come back refreshed and better able to listen and lead because of my time with them.
Some say that a slave punishing a Master is 1) not real 2) avoidable or 3) controllable.
I say this is the real world. In addition, in the real world there are emotions and consequences.
I accept that fact that my slave’s identity is not enough to fulfill her completely. It is a requirement that anyone who serves under me has to, in some form or function other than his or her job, serve outside the home. They have to be on a board somewhere, organize meetings somewhere, and/or volunteer.
What they do is their choice. That they do is mine.
What started out as a passion has turned into full-blown business.
In addition, I reap all the benefits.
AND I am so deeply proud of her.
http://laughinggoddessapothecary.com/
