Doing service in public is a completely different animal than in private. The noise, distractions, and challenges make it all very different. I encourage people to practice public service at a public event (BDSM not vanilla). It may seem funny but it absolutely grows confidence and ability as well as allows you to troubleshoot what it is you need to work on.
I have the most adorable Mx. She is new to doing public service for me. At BDSM parties I have her practice her technique. It took a while for her to catch on and for me to be eloquent enough to define what I wanted. This is because My love has been serving me for years and she has it down pat. I haven’t had to verbalize what I wanted in forever.
When I started working with Mx. I found that I was lacking in direction and I had to look at how I was communicating. What I found is that when I wrote down how I saw her service in my head, I could better clarify what I was wanting.
What I wrote contained:
1) outfit approved before party
2) give her a start and end time
3) I want to see her moving around the crowd offering drinks and food (I started to provide her a platter for her to carry. It's not expensive and it's something that she uses to go from person to person, this makes it easier for her).
4) I want her cool, calm, and collected with her focused on putting people at ease.
5) I want her curtsying before my requests and as she is dismissed.
6) Listen carefully to each request and fulfill one request at a time
7) Be graceful and quick
8) Relax and enjoy
I send her this list before each party for her to review and study. We are still working on her overall service but we both enjoy that side.
I have found that when offered a space for public training that people are hesitant to do it. I don't always understand why. Perhaps they don't want to come across as not knowing at all, unpolished, or they don't want to make their mistakes in public. I find value in making mistakes unpolished and in public. It makes service much more relatable and attainable
When Mx. and I first started I allowed things to happen organically. I asked for some things and then sat back watched. I did this for two reasons, one- I wanted to see what she would do naturally, and two- I wanted to add to what she could viscerally do easily.
What I found was she was innately eager, graceful, willing, and wanting. I also found that she didn’t know to come to me for the end time so she would dress down before I knew it (easy fix). Bigger then that she could get flustered in large groups. So I'm working on her now working on her approaching one person at a time, fulfilling one request at a time, and then the next request.
Because in the beginning I wasn’t exactly eloquent she struggled more. As I have defined more concretely what I wanted she was able to grow.
It is still a work in progress and we still learning each other. It will take about another 6 months to a year for her to be right where I want her. The time doesn’t bother me. We aren’t doing this every day and I am long term goal oriented. Not to mention that I want to add things as we go along. Eventually we will add taking coats and doing greetings, serving the whole time from 5pm until 2 am, and more specific ways to serve (what is said, hands, eyes, ect…)
All of this is for things to come, right now I am loving as she is learning and growing—and so am I.
