The Tao of an Authentic Dom

I hope you enjoy reading my entries here. I enjoy expressing myself with my compositions. I am not a writer, just a lover of English and expression through words a beautiful way to brain dump and share.

I appreciate the comments and feedback I am getting too. There are just some lovely people on here.

Enjoy.
3 days ago. Sat 15 Sep 2018 07:13:56 PM IDT

When I was a young muggle, living a plain vanilla existence, I used to think that I was pretty liberated sexually and like most young men, believed I had good technique and was probably the best lover in the world. (cringe now) After all, the women never moaned.  And that’s where the problem lies.  Ok, yes, I did make them moan, a little, but never made them scream like wailing banshees and collapse in a heap of orgasmic mess.  Oh god, I cannot believe I am baring this side of me in public.  My salvation was kink and BDSM, I needed to get that in quickly to save my ego from being scrambled any more.  I am happy to say I have evolved considerably and if I ever meet my younger self I will be sure to give him a jolly good slap.

 
We all have varying sex lives of different experiences and quality, or not, with different people in our lives.  Some are unforgettable, some are best forgotten.  My epiphany moment and salvation actually came some 20 years ago in the shape of leggy, slim brunette called “Tracey” ( Name changed to protect her identity should she read this, which is unlikely)

 
I met Tracey on AOL in the days when you could find and chat with other AOL members locally.  She was a chirpy girl and we played Literati for many hours online.  We were even Stevens at this game, but she drove me nuts when she won because she would not let it lie and she would gloat lots, which was terribly bothersome, her knowing I am a bad loser and all.  What has this got to do with Pussy Worshipping ?  It is just a little foray into the antecedence that led to me to life of Kink that I live now.

 
See, Tracey was a Kinkster, way before Fet, CS and the ilk.  Indeed, the “tinterweb thingy” (Yorkshire dialect required) was very new at that time  and Kink had not yet found it’s web presence.

 
So after a few weeks of online geekiness, Tracey and I decided to meet for a drink, it was a natural step.  I have to say at this point, in those days I was a cocky bastard.  Mostly more of a bastard these days, less cocky, but certainly more self assured with a quiet smouldering inner confidence.


Anyway,  strolled into the designated pub where we were to meet with my “cocky bastard swagger” and I was instantly drawn to this beautiful, slender, tall woman who I instantly knew to be my date.  I tried to remain cocky, but her beauty knocked me for six and I am sure that sweet mouth could utter such words that my strength would fail me.  We sat, we talked, well she did, I kind of stammered and dribbled, and gradually the initial feelings of “ i am not worthy” were replaced by fascination as the girl I knew from our online scrabble like gaming was opening up and gushing forth with all this unfamiliar language about her kinks and fetishes.


I was totally clueless as to what she was talking about at the time, a little intimidated, but glued to her every word.  She talked about such taboo things as CP, hair pulling, forced blow jobs, being tied down and whipped, then fucked like a whore, being ordered and controlled.  I was dazed, my mind was swimming in a state of confusion and a dark desire to taste all of these delights that this stupidly hot chic was sharing with me.


Save to say at this point, we went on to have many, many adventures and I was introduced to a new kind of sex and way of thinking.  The old way of cramming every sexual act into a 20 minute session 2-3 times a week was obsolete.  I had discovered play scenes, themes, role play, kink, impact play, fetish  etc.  I did not discover the meaning of D/s at this point, just that sex could be a lot more than a quick shuffle when your balls are blue.

 
I digress, so let me come back to point.  I learned from Tracey that each sex act could be extracted from vanilla way and approach, elongated, focused on and developed into a main event in its own right. Pussy Worship is just one prime example of how to take a single sex act and turn it into a pleasure bound marathon that ends in orgasmic heaven for the girl.  And a smug smile on my face.

 
Tracey and I ended after about a year, but she is one of those I will never forget and I often wonder where she is and what she is doing. 


So Pussy Worship is just one aspect of sex play that leaves the narrative of vanilla sex and becomes a delight, a treat, a heavenly experience for both Dom and sub.  As a Dom, I get my Yaya’s from making my sub happy mentally, physically and sexually.  I am not being topped here, I am very much the Dom, it is my will, I like this and I will take my pleasure from what I am doing as I see fit.  Yes, she gets to cum a few times too, bajynga !.

 
Pussy worshiping goes beyond just clumsily eating a girl out like some spotty hormonal teenager munching as though this is the first and last pussy he will ever see.


Pussy Worship is an art, it is about celebrating that most wonderful and magical place between a girls legs. It’s about rejoicing in her exhibitionism, sexual liberation and complete explicit pleasure. Read and think about each word, each action, each part. Only do this to a woman if you are prepared and ready. You must not make a mistake. Take time, research the subject from other sources and improve technique where you can. When you are ready, begin.

 
This next few hours is a celebration of, and pleasuring of your woman's pussy, purely for the sake of that pleasure and nothing else. There is no cock play, just pussy. 

 
Encourage your woman/sub to relax into the moment and allow herself to be the goddess of this experience. 

 
Start with some gentle shoulder and neck rubbing and kissing. Let her respond purely to the touch. The only expectation of the girl is that she surrenders her pussy to the experience and allows it to feel all of the subtlety of the touch, texture, pressure, rubbing, licking, gazing and all of the nuances of the encounter  that is about to unfold on her mound of venus.


After the shoulder and neck rub lay her laid back and spread her legs open.  If she is wearing underwear, remove it.   She should be naked only from the waist down, the focus is her pussy, not entire nakedness.

 
So begins the “gazing” stage of the play. What follows is a long and drawn out adventure of pleasure giving, not to be rushed at all. Attention first focuses on what I call the road to heaven, the fleshy inner thighs, which are stroked with a variety of pressures, all pleasant, but the objective is to sensitise this area which makes her pussy feel even more exposed and on view.  


Her legs must be as wide open as possible, but comfortable. You, the worshipper are gazing and familiarising yourself with each fold of skin of this uniquely beautiful pussy, each wrinkle, each bump, the outer lips, the shape of her vulva, labia, slit.

 
Take your time to  enjoy the view of this delightful sight, voicing your appreciation occasionally, reassuring her that you are enjoying this too. Tell her to spread her pussy open for you, exposing the inner cunt in as slutty a way possible. Gaze intently on her wetness, the pink inner flesh of her love organ.  This is important for both, as she feels the excitement of exposure and vulnerability with no barriers or inhibitions.  She is on view, open, in the moment with you, allowing you to experience her in this most intimate way.

 
The stroking action now moves from her thighs to the mound and outer labia. As much as possible keep eye contact with the each other, and hold her hand.  Let your fingertips dance together and heighten the senses. The stroking, using fingers now moves to the inner lips and clitoris area. This is important because this is where the gazing becomes more intense, which is the "admiring" stage. You Looking into each others eyes whilst a fingertip strokes her clit is intense for both of you.  You connect in the most erotic and deeply sensual way. 

 
Watch for every little sign that you are pleasuring her and intensify that pleasure more and more based on the feedback you are getting.  Encourage her to express and articulate what she feels, what she likes, what she enjoys most.  Talk about the experience and be vocal.  Encourage her to moan if she wants to, or to respond by moving her hips if she feels like it.  Open up to each other, get lost in the experience.  Immerse yourselves in each other.


Spread her pussy open and examine every millimetre of the hot wetness before you and then begin show appreciation with gentle kisses all around the pussy. No tongue yet, just appreciation and kisses. Now comes the part where she participates a little more. Get her to hold her pussy open so that you can see deep inside. Kiss her more feverishly now, with a little more pressure and for a few moments longer on each part, like the kiss of a lover, but on her pussy.  Look at her in the eye as you do this to her pussy.

 
Like yoga, there is no rush from one part to the next, the experience is meant to be unhurried and supposed to heighten the intensity of the eventual orgasm that you are going to lead her to. 

 
Prop her up so that she can see in detail what is happening to her pussy and encourage her to watch. Rest your mouth on her pussy, let your lips connect with the soft tissue of her pussy lips.  Feel the texture, suck the skin into your mouth and run your tongue over them.  Then attach your mouth to her pussy and tongue her deeply, slowly and deliberately, all over, inside and out, at all times you are holding hands and looking deep into each others eyes. “French kiss” her pussy lovingly and passionately for as long as your tongue can hold out.  Taste her, appreciate her, love her pussy.  Taste her more, she is yours, feel the juices from her pussy as they drip down your chin.  Lick her and look at her.

 
Your tongue deep inside her pussy, eyes locked in a deep gaze, you are connected in an amazing and beautiful way. Feel each other as deeply as possible and as the tongue will go. Taste the heavenly juices. Warm and ignite all of the nerves in her pussy with gentle movements of the lips and tongue. This should go on for some time, and it is important that you take your time. Don't rush and don’t stop looking into each other eyes.  Let your fingertips touch again, they have a language all of their own, eyes, fingers, tongue.


Now for some finger manipulation. Insert a finger or two and allow her to enjoy the feeling of you moving in and out. Use the juices to rub over her clit, then back inside. Slowly, don't go fast at this point. Rub the “A” spot first (see last blog post) , then the “G” spot, this is not about orgasm yet. Hold the pussy open with one hand and rub all around the outside, the clit, the lips, wetting your fingers now and again. Put a hand over the pussy and massage it whole, feeling the heat and wetness.  Tell her what you feel and how much you like it.  Ask her if she is enjoying it.

 
Use both hands to open her up and begin to lick and nibble on her clit, gently, but with a little more pressure. Her clit and labia should be swollen.  We could be at least an hour in by now, but who is watching the clock ?  Not me. 

 
Now it is time to begin to bring her to orgasm and give her release. But control it, take her to the edge, then draw back a little and a few times, feel her thrusts and respond. Let her push her pussy onto your face and fingers and rub it up and down your tongue, which nows flicks the clit more quickly.


Insert fingers and finger fuck her whilst flicking your tongue over her clit. Respond to her writhing and moaning, now allowing her to go to orgasm, and take her there with all the love for her pussy that you can muster.  Rub her ‘G” spot as you tongue her clit, stimulate more than just one area.

 
Delight, rejoice and be grateful for each moment that you spend worshipping that pussy and showing this with the action of your mouth and fingers. Be part of the moment when she cums and let her take as much time as needed to allow the intense feelings to wash over her. Rest your tongue on her clit and feel it twitch, responding with gentle pressure, not too much at this point. As she cums suck her clit into your mouth very gently, allow the gentle pressure to do its work, then thrust fingers deep inside her and let her muscles squeeze them.

 
Take your mouth off her, cup her pussy with one hand and feel its heat. Gently rub, not too much pressure, she will be sensitive. Now draw back, massage her thighs and allow her to enjoy the final moments of orgasm. Her pussy should be red and swollen, and very wet. You have worshipped pussy.  Hope you enjoy, both !

 
Sometimes I will make the experience last longer by taking breaks for drinks or a snack.  I always make sure the girl keeps her legs open and pussy on view, always.  You may wish to stroke it whilst snacking or drinking, keep up the pleasure giving.  It’s up to you.  Mix it up.  Other times I will introduce toys, especially the magic wand, which always leads to brain rattling orgasms if used properly.


Above all, enjoy.

 

I will soon post other scenes, such as Cock worship, Forced eruptive orgasms, 

5 days ago. Fri 14 Sep 2018 12:08:03 PM IDT

I maintain that the D/s dynamic is much more intense and immersive than any vanilla relationship and thus, clear communication is essentially more important.  A firm memorandum of understanding must exist between Dom and his sub.  Failure to establish rules, protocols and rituals will inevitably result in  confusion and disarray.  This will erode the dynamic and result in a sub who does not respect her Dom.  You must have her respect to Dom her.

 

Humans by nature are ritualistic creatures that have a propensity to abrogate responsibility to esoteric authority, and D/s to a degree encapsulates this paradigm.  Whilst the sub retains control of the superficial aspects of her life.  ie her job, her family, her friends, her music tastes etc, underneath this she is obedient to her Dom.


The most successful D/s relationships I have witnessed always carry a framework of rules to which both parties adhere and use as a guide.  Some Doms have verbal sets of rules, others have contracts, which are becoming more popular.  In my flavour of D/s, the rules, protocols and rituals are enshrined in an agreement that is bound as a maxim by my “Submissive’s Surrender Ceremony”

 
I champion clearly written and mutually agreed rules and to a degree, set and specific punishments for transgression of these rules.  I also think that a lucid understanding of what is expected between Dom and sub is vital for the good health and mental wellbeing of the sub.

 
I always compose a written contract which is agreed up front  by both parties before I accept a girls submission.


Getting to the point of being offered submission is also important to me.  There needs to be a connection and bond, a desire to give submission on the girls part, and a desire to be her Dom on my part.  It is not a decision that either party should take lightly.  By accepting a girls submission you as the Dom have a huge responsibility, and you must think about how you will execute this role.  

 
As part of accepting a girls submission to me I always induce them into my style of D/s with “The Subs Surrender Ceremony”.  This ceremony is purposely highly ritualistic and intense.  I have used this ritual with brand new subs and those wit experience.  It is always highly successful in setting the scene, rules and expectations for the future of the relationship, how ever long that may be.  It is here the sub offers surrender to you, her new Dom.  it is where she becomes obedient in every way and where the Dom takes control of her mind and body.

 
Any new D/s relationships should start as a clean fresh canvas, unfettered by baggage from previous experiences, Doms and relationships.  For this to happen my new sub must to experience this ritualistic ceremony.  I will not accept her submission unless she does.

 
The goal of this “Ceremony” is to strip her of her clothes, her armour, her facade and her masks.  She must be left feeling vulnerable and exposed, and a little fear and trepidation is good too, as it heightens the senses and makes her feel a little raw.  Once this is achieved she is ready to take on the colours of the new Dom. 

 

 This is how it goes

 


The Submissive Surrender Ceremony.

 
Allow at least 3 hours undisturbed for this ritual.  The scene is set at either the Doms home or a Hotel.  Never at the subs home.  It must be enacted in the Doms territory.


Feel free as a Dom to add or omit content to suit your own way.  This is merely my way and will not suit everyone.  The objective must remain the same though.  Total surrender of mind and body, total power exchange, by consent from the sub and acceptance by her Dom.

 
Planning is important.  What play scenes if any are we going to act out ?  Have any toys or implements ready beforehand.  EG rope, cuffs, collar, impact implements, toys etc.  Have soft drinks and possibly some biscuits or chocolate for after care.  This is an intense scene, she will be in sub space and you will need to care for her at some point.

 
In my case I have a sturdy massage table, rope, cuffs, impact implements and a magic wand.  (I always have a new head for this).  I stock up on drinks, chocolates and even crisps as some girls like savoury.


At the agreed time the sub should arrive and certainly not be late.  I walk her into the living room and have her stand in what I call position 1.  I mimic the Gorean slave positions but have numbers for them instead of names.  I have found most Doms and Masters do this to suit themselves.  Position 1 is simply stand upright, legs part, arms behind back, eyes lowered.

 
She is in the middle of the floor and I walk around her, inspecting her, leaning in now and then to smell her perfume.  She is a pleasing sight and thus begins her surrender to me.

 
I have instructed her to arrive in a dress and no underwear.  She is most likely feeling very nervous at this point and it is vital that she is experiencing trepidation and some fear.  She needs to be slightly unbalanced.  I generally incorporate a few days mindfucking by text, to soften her up and confuse her a little..  You need her to have heightened senses.  Without any more pause or hesitation order her to remove her dress and retake position 1.  I stand behind her as she does this.


Once she is naked slowly take in the sight before you.  I prowl and Walk around her, taking my time and gaze at what is being offered to me.  Enjoy the shape or her naked body, and breathe in the tense erotic atmosphere.  There stands before you a prize to be taken and now it is time to honour her and Dom her.

 
I run my hands lightly over the curves of her hips, her arse, her shoulders, her breasts, her vulva.  Just lightly, making the skin prickle under my touch.  Enough to make her breath a little more deeply and faster.  A tease, yes, but also a time to take in the natural beauty of this wholesome woman who stands before me, naked, vulnerable, exposed , mine, or soon to be.

 
It is time to take control.  I stand behind her reach around and firmly grab hold of her pussy with one hand and her throat with the other.  I pull her to me tightly and lock her body against mine.  I force her head back onto my shoulder, exposing her neck, which I bite, not too hard, just enough, taking the naked flesh into my mouth, she knows who is in control now.  I keep my grip, turn her a little and kiss her hard and deep.  I move in front of her, grab her hair and pull her head back, that throat again.  Kiss it and bite it.  Keeping a firm hold on her pussy, pulling her lower half to me.

 
I look her directly in the eye and demand to know “Do you freely submit and surrender you mind, body and cunt to me ?”  She will usually answer “Yes”.  If not, send her home, but I have never experienced this, so lets carry on. 

 
It’s times to inspect my new sub at close quarter, I order her onto an arm chair with her shoulders on the back of the chair, her knees at the front, legs apart, back arched, arse and pussy in the air.  This is similar to one of my favourite positions, which I call number 5.  Usually on the floor, shoulders down, ready for me to wreak havoc on her naked arse and pussy, but that is another scene.

 
So, on the chair I command her to reach around and spread her arse cheeks open wide so that I can see deep inside her hot, wet pussy and arse.  This is probably the most addictive sight I know.  Your sub totally exposed and bare.  Showing you what is now yours to use as you see fit.  If she is not already a slut, then this is the beginning of nurturing the slut out of her.  To be clear, the title “slut” is the highest of compliments you can give a sub girl.  it is not the same as “slag” or other demeaning words used to denigrate women in general.  “Slut” is a primal, sexual, uninhibited woman who is in touch with her sexuality and animal self, and embraces the liberty that being a slut brings with it.  It also usually means a much more intense and fulfilling sex life for both partners, or more if thats your thing.

 
I enjoy this sight for a while, feeling her arse, running a finger over her anus and pussy lips.  I run my hands over her, squeezing here and there, getting familiar with her shape, her bumps, her wobbly bits, her womanly body.  

 
I move my hands to her arse and pussy and kneed them, squeeze them, feel them.  I thrust my fingers inside her and feel the hot wetness, she is usually eager by now.

 
This goes on for a good 15 minutes and has the effect of relaxing the girl, and little by little she becomes more turned on and used to being exposed so rudely.  That’s exactly when I take things up a notch.  I now have her sit next to me on the sofa with one leg up on the sofa and the other on the floor, she is now opposite me and in a completely slutty position, her legs open wide, facing me.  Purposely, I talk about nothing in particular, but as doing so, I run my hands up and done her inner thigh, the road to heaven as I call it.

 
I order her spread her pussy open wide and enjoy what I see before me.  As we talk I tell her to rub her pussy slowly for me to enjoy.  I typically let this gone on for 15-20 minute and usually this gets in her into the mood for what is about to happen.

 
Right, now to get down to business with this sub.  Most of you have heard of the “G” spot, some of you know where is and I salute those who do. But not many know that other than the clitoris and “G” spot, woman have two other highly sensitive areas around their pussy that if manipulated properly, with leave them dazed and wanting.

 
Introducing the “U” spot and the “A” spot.,  “The what spots ?”  I hear you saying.  Yep, two wonderfully sensitive areas that with the right manipulation and play will take the girl to place of orgasmic heaven.

 
The “U” spot is the small area of flesh between the introitus and Urethra, and the “A” spot is the fleshy tissue at the back of the vagina above the Uterus.  So, how do these magic “Spots” work ?  Well, before we move to them we need to stimulate the clitoris and surrounding area first, to get the blood flowing and engorge the veins.  This increases sensitivity to the organ as a whole.

 
Not may men know this, but the Clitoris has a similar amount of nerve endings to the head of the Penis.  Imagine then, the effect on the woman if stimulated either correctly or incorrectly.  All of that sensitivity concentrated in that tiny organ.  It’s important to understand the biological make up of this area.  Imagine for a moment that the Clitoris is a tiny Penis.  Take the base of it between your finger and thumb and move up and down, just like with a Penis.  Push right down to the shaft which is inside the woman, do this right and look at her face as you do it.  Make sure you are moist.  Make use of her juices where possible.

 
Switch between doing this and rubbing a finger up and down over the Clitoris and gauge how much pressure is pleasurable for her.  Like men, each woman is different and some will like this soft, others will like a lot of pressure.  You have to get this right, so take time to measure her response.

 
Now move back to the up and down movement over the shaft of the Clitoris.  She should be warming up and moaning by now, so take both hands and one either side of the Clitoris and outer labia then push in firmly which will push the lips and Clitoris outward.  Now move each hand up and down in opposite directions, feeling for the shaft of her Clitoris as you do it.  Watch her squirm and moan.  Be firm and do this for a minute of so.

 
She is warmed up, she should be very wet and ready for the next bit, which will blow her away.

 
Part her pussy lips and with your tongue make small circular movements around the “U” spot area.  Do not be tempted to lick her Clitoris or inside, it is important that you stimulate this area alone.  Do this for about 30 seconds.

 
Kneel beside her, put one hand firmly on her décolletage to pin her down, and understand that this is the area that becomes flush during sex, because it is also an erogenous zone.  Your firm press restrains her, but also stimulates this area sexually along with the next action.


With your free hand thrust your 2 middle fingers firmly into her pussy and bend them upwards slightly.  Push to the back of the pussy and feel the flesh of the “A” spot, then with quick firm movements, thrust your fingers into this fleshy area.  Do this hard and fast.  She will gasp, she will writhe, she will have a look of utter surprise on her face.  She will likely force herself down onto your fingers, but you must keep control.  Hold her down firmly and keep thrusting into her pussy.

 
Now, a word of warning.  This technique drives most women crazy but will tax your strength rapidly if not done right.  Use all of your arm, not just your wrist.  Using all of your arm increases the pressure and lets you go on for longer.  She will not want you to stop anytime soon.  Do not be gentle, do not be afraid of hurting her.  If she has an injury or over sensitivity, you might have to adjust the pressure of the thrust, but most women are surprised at just how amazing this is if they have never experienced it before.

 
Do this for a few minutes, but do not allow her to cum, as she may well want to.  Then bend your fingers in a “U” shape and apply the pressure in an up and down movement to the “G” spot.  If you are not sure where this is, it is the highly textured fleshy and bony area directly above the Introitus.  With a firm hand and pressure, thrust up and down over this area and she will gasp, squeal and find it difficult not to orgasm.  If you think she is about to cum, stop and let it subside.  She must not be allowed to cum yet.  You must be on control of her cumming, not her, you are her Dom now.  Her orgasms is by your will.

 
If you have the strength, manipulate her “A” spot some more, if not, go back to the “U” spot with your tongue and rest your hand.

 
Another way to rest but keep up the intensity is to turn your hand over and gently move in and out of the pussy, rubbing the flesh at the bottom.   When ready, return quickly and with firm movements to her “A” spot again.  By this time she will be jelly like and it is at this time that I like to introduce some spanking into the play to mix pleasure with pain an confuse her senses.  The aim is to totally unbalance her and this usually does the trick.

 
The best way to  do this is for her to again take position 5 on an armchair.  This gives you freedom to move around her and you will see why.


Arse firmly in the air, slap each cheek 3 to 4 times and then grab the flesh firmly.  Slap 3-4 times a little harder, then rub the flesh firmly.  Slap 3-4 times to the point that she squeals, then grab hard and squeeze.  The idea is to get the blood flowing and endorphins flooding her body.


Remember, her pussy is in a state of heightened pleasure and is engorged with blood. This intense focused activity on her lower half will have her reeling and writhing.


Grab and hold the inner thigh tissue, not too hard, just enough.   Firmly rub the inner thigh, then hard slap to each cheek, then thrust 2 fingers into her pussy.  In and out 3 times and then slap 5-6 times, then fingers in and out, then slap.

 
Now, grab her hair, ram those fingers into her and hold her by the hair and pussy.  Ask her “Who’s pussy is this ?”  By now she should say “Yours Sir”.  “Good girl” I tell her.  Slap, rub, slap, slap, slap, grab, fingers.

 
Each girl is different in the way they respond, you have to gauge what is working.  I also rub the pussy and Clitoris during this play and I use a variety of instruments.  My favourite is a flogger.  A good quality one, suede.  I dance the tongues over her naked back, and gently run the leather up her thighs, over her pussy and arse, then with a deft circular action, THUD ! across her glowing arse.  This implement will thud and slap if you get a good one.  It also tickles and rubs.  I spend a lot of time using this all over her body.  Run the suede over her face and have her smell the leather.  It is musky, gorgeous.

 
Kneel in front of her face, look into her eyes and flog her.  Watch her expression as the tongues lash her bare back.  Touch her lips with yours and flog her again.  Rest your face against hers, flog again.  Grab her hair, tilt her face toward you as you stand and flog her pussy and anus several times in quick succession.  Do not take your eyes off each other.  Gaze deeply into her eyes as the leather kisses her flesh.  You are bonding deeply.

 
Now, have her turn over on the chair and bring her legs up and wide open.  You have a face full of thigh, pussy and arse.  Mildly flog the whole area to bring the blood flow to the surface.  With one hand gently slap her pussy, measure her response.  Adjust the pressure to suit.  You want her to feel mild pain only.  Slap, then rub, slap the thigh, then grab, slap pussy, rub.  Then ram 2 fingers in hard onto her “A” spot again and she will gasp.  Finger fuck this area for 15 seconds, then move to the “G” spot again.  Do not be too gentle, this must be rough.  Hold her down with the other hand.  Move between both spots and still do not allow her to cum, believe me,  she will want to.

 
Again, flog her thighs, the soles of her feet and pussy, rubbing after a few blows.

 
One hand on her throat, thrust 2 fingers into her, cup them and pull up slightly to lock her pussy to you.  Again, ask her “Who’s pussy is this ?”  Be firm and stout of voice.  Be commanding.  She will be compliant by now.

 
I usually introduce the Magic wand toy at this point.  You know the one, Hitachi made it to massage tense muscle.  Of course they did !.  This toy is very intense snd has to be used with care.  Nah, fuck that, full setting and place i hard on the clitoris.  She will squeal.  Take it off and rub it over the whole area, do not let her cum.  Manipulate the whole pussy for a few minutes with this toy and watch it swell up and go bright red

 
Move your mouth over her pussy, purse your lips in an “O” shape and suck her clitoris onto your mouth.  Suck hard, get it all in and then move up and down over it, licking the head, nibbling gently, biting softly, up and down over the shaft, let go and lick around her “U” spot again.  Spend a few minutes doing this, always gauging her response, not letting her cum.

 
Reward time.  Go to her “A” spot and give her 30 seconds of thrusts, if she has not Cum by then, move to her “G” spot and if you get this right she will cum like a breached Dam.  Expect her to be loud and encourage her, give her permission to cum and respond to her spasms with your fingering technique.  Do not stop until she is totally drained and a soggy wet, panting, orgasmic mess under your hand.

 
Help her up, move to the sofa, sit and have her sit on your lap, cuddle her, compliment her, tell her what a ‘Good girl” she is.  She will most likely be in sub space right now, so will need this after care.  You might be prepared with a drink and possibly a biscuit.  Hold her, reassure her, make her feel safe in your arms.

 
After a while sit her to the side of you and spread her legs open.  She must be naked and on display for you.  She must not close her legs or cover her pussy.  Remember, it is now yours by her own consent.  There is nothing more beautiful and inviting than a sub girl with her pussy on display for her Dom/Master.  In this position talk about your rules, protocols and rituals.  It is symbolic that you are still dressed and she is in this slutty position.  Do not change it.  To further increase the intensity of this dynamic, command her to spread her pussy open for you periodically, and then to play with it for your pleasure.  This sets the tone for how she should behave when you are alone in the future.

 
Many notice at this point that there has not been any cock play yet.  There is a reason for this.  1.  It shows that you, the Dom/Master are in control of your loins, and  2.  You are in control of this play scene and ceremony, which is about her surrender and not you cumming.

 
Depending on the girl, some will be begging for your cock by now, and up to this point, you must deny her.  Your cock must be seen as a reward.  She must ask for it, nay, beg for it.

 
Once you have finished agreeing your terms etc, have her kneel before you, arms behind back, legs open.  I call this position 3.   She must become familiar with all of your positions and adopt them on command.   Walk around her, feel the tension build, grab her hair and force her head back.  If you, the Dom, are of a mind, take your cock and thrust it into her mouth.  Do not be gentle, Dominate her face with your cock.  Fuck her mouth, make her gag.  Hold her onto you all the way in.  I sometimes do this for a few minutes, then zip up.  I am in control, not my sub or my cock.  Me.

 
Now, order her to position 5 on the floor.  Spend a few moments enjoying the sight before you.  Rub her pussy, slap her arse, finger her pussy and anus, run your hands all over her roughly.  She is yours now.  She has totally submitted and from this day forward, you have a huge responsibility on your hands.

 
I will generally play further from here and make her cum in a variety of ways using tongue, toys and fingers.  I may put my cock in her mouth a few times, but never fuck her on the first play session, I want her to be wanting, needing and begging, so that the next time we are alone, it is even more ecstatic than the first.  My cock is always her prize for being a slut, obedient and a good girl.

 
I have performed variants of this ceremony with a number of subs and each went away a different woman.  This ritual is dynamic, immersive, the power exchange is palpable.  The build up to her first orgasm with you is volcanic. The eroticism of her being exposed to you, her new Dom, is an unbelievable turn on for both.  Do this right, plan it, think about it, then execute it with intellectual rigour and physical dominance and your new sub will be putty in your hands.  She will not be able to wait for your next encounter.  Nor will you actually.

 
Feel free to mix and mash this up with your own style and techniques.  Above all, enjoy, but do try to capture the essence of the power exchange, eroticism, and the prize that your sub has given to you, her Dom.

1 week ago. Mon 10 Sep 2018 11:54:15 AM IDT

I have been spanking bottoms of different sizes, shapes and sensitivity for some years now and whilst I don't yet consider myself an expert, I have over this time developed a number of techniques that are being increasingly sought after by new Doms in my local area.  So much so that I have been asked to host an event by a local adult club.  I am flattered by this, but also have a sense of mild trepidation.

 

It came about because  my sub of the time and I decided to make use of an empty dungeon in an adult club we were visiting  I bent her over the spanking table, cuffed her and began.  Soon, we had an audience, but in particular we had a lot of attention from one couple.

 

My method drew a lot of attention because my sub was screaming in a state of confusion and was obviously enjoying it.  Confusion ?  Yes, I mix pleasure and pain in a heady and intoxicating way that leaves me girl in total disarray and floating in sub space for a good 20 minutes.

 

I begin with moderate hand spanking over both cheeks to warm the area and start the flow of endorphins.  After each slap I grab the area of impact and squeeze it gently, then rub it with quite some pressure to stimulate blood flow and dissipate the sensations of the impact.  This begins the mash up of pain followed and pleasure.  This goes on for a good 5 minutes, paying attention to the thighs and upper legs.  Once the whole area is slightly magenta I thrust 2 fingers into the girls pussy, and she is almost always soaking wet at this point.  The result is a gasp and scream, arched back and pleasure overload.  Four or five thrusts, following by a little pussy massage and she is primed and ready for the real fun to begin

 

Next is a leather bound paddle.  I slowly rub it around her arse cheeks ( Yes, I am English so it is arse) and tease her.  Then THWACK !, squeal, rub, THWACK, squeal rub, and do this for at least a dozen times, followed by the fingers in pussy again.  This sends her into an obsidian abyss where the headiness of anticipation, pleasure, pain or both serve to ignite her mind and body to near orgasm.

 

Meanwhile, the attentive couple in the growing audience where engrossed in the performance before them.  The lady of said interested couple in particular was thoroughly enjoying the spectacle.

 

Back to my muse.  Next is the riding crop, which I like as it is a precision implement that allows me to deliver a stinging sensation to small but decisive areas.  I use it around the arse, but also on the anus and vulva, delivering sharp stinging smacks in quick succession over widely dispersed areas, again to confuse.  Once again, I follow this up with grabbing, massage, but now introduce moderate biting.  I grab a chunk of flesh and bite for a few seconds, followed by rubbing.  By now my girl is squirming and moaning with utter delight.  Her arse is thrust upward ready for my next move.

 

It's time to leave a few stripes.  I select a cane form my ever growing tool box and deliver the first sharp strike, which is instantly followed by a loud squeal.  Another, and another, and another is quick succession, followed by a hand slap on each cheek and then rubbing of the arse, the pussy and the anus.  My girl is writhing around is sheer ecstasy at this point.  She squeals, moans and thrusts her cheeks out as far as they can go against the restraints.  We are a good 20 minutes into the experience and the lady in the audience cannot take her eyes off what is being played out before her.

 

I ask her, "Have you ever experienced anything like this ?"  She replies huskily, "No, but I want to"  I look at whom I thought to be her partner and ask him if he would like me to show him how afterwards.  Eagerly he agrees.

 

I am not done with my girl yet.  Now comes the mind shattering finale with my latest acquisition, a beautifully crafted suede flogger.  Hand made, expensive, but uh, the smell of that leather and the softness of the tongues.

 

This is my art, my hobby, my moment.  I gently allow the tongues to touch my subs skin and she moans in pleasure.  I run the soft fragrant leather over her back, arms, shoulders and down to her arse.  I then run it over each of her legs, up her thigh, and in between her legs so that it rubs over her pussy and anus. Deep moans and squirms follow, then with a circular motion I swing the tongues over and strike between her cheeks, making sure the tongues reach her pussy.  This is not sharp, it is a pleasurable thud. She almost cums in delight, I repeat this a dozen times over her fleshy arse and she is in complete mental melt down, with endorphins flooding her body.  More soft tingly motions over her back and down to her arse, then thud, and more, and more, and more, then thrust 2 fingers in her pussy and massage her anus with my thumb, followed by many flogs all over her back, arse and pussy.  She screams and thrusts her pussy into my fingers and cums loudly, so hard, writhing around as much as the cuffs will allow her too.  Then she collapses, in a heap, a soggy wet orgasmic mess, with red cheeks,  wonderfully adorned with my hand print and stripes.

 

I uncuff her and carry her to a sofa, give her a drink, a cuddle and some chocolate.

 

Now the fun begins with the other couple.  This couple had been together for some time, but yearned fo a D/s relationship.  I agreed to mentor the guy.

 

We strapped his girl down and the lesson began.

 

Next day they both joined fetlife and friended me.  Apparently, I had brought much to their lives and they thank me endlessly and graciously.

 

My pleasure is derived from the state I put the girl into, and now transferring my skills to others.  As I said, I am by no means an expert, but I love my craft and intend to refine it and make it more of a sensation for my future spankees or most definitely, my next sub girlfriend, wherever she is.

2 weeks ago. Wed 29 Aug 2018 08:28:55 PM IDT

I recently happened upon a dating advert by a guy calling himself a "Dom" and looking for a sub. He headlined his advert with “20 yr old experienced Dom”. I fell about laughing. Barely out of virginhood we have this baby boy professing to be an experienced Dom. I know a few experienced subs who would swallow him whole and not blink.

Out of sheer curiosity I had to read his advert. I read it with much mirth and tears of laughter. Once I had dried my eyes I began to think a little more seriously about what I had read and it dawned on me that this self anointed “Dom” was the epitome of everything that is wrong in the world of BDSM and as such gets the lifestyle a bad name.

in His advert he referred to subs as “servants” and “bitches”. His whole demeanour and writing style reflected his obvious disrespect and disdain for women and this kind of raucous oaf is partly to blame for real Doms getting a bad rap.

Indeed, there are many misogynists and women hating braggarts, bullies and boys with mummy issues who see BDSM and the whole D/s dynamic as a way to vent their dysfunction out of the opposite, or sometimes, same sex. But this is not true BDSM, it is not D/s, it is nothing more than a debilitated and maladjusted way of finding a release for psychological and deeply disturbing personality defects.

True Doms are gentlemen first, naturally alpha, primal pack leaders who have gravitas and presence, not loud brashness or ignorant sociopathetic insensitivity.


All mature and authentic Doms I know have posses finer qualities and virtues such as respect, grace, manners, decorum. They walk into a room and people know that they are there. They are usually leaders in whatever they do, and their subs are most generally confident, wholesome women who hold their own in vanilla life.

So, I have decided to articulate my thoughts on what qualities and characteristics make up an authentic Dom. This is most certainly not the Gospel according to me, each Dom has his own style, but there is a hint of a few universal moral absolutes in my composition that cannot be denied.

I hope you enjoy this and derive value from it.


To be clear, I did not awake one fine sunny day in the month of May and decide, “I am a Dom”. I evolved into this as I identified with the whole D/s dynamic over many years. I have always been alpha and successful by my own hand. I am a leader, a creator, an entrepreneur.

My title was awarded to my by my first sub, and it was she who lead me into the BDSM lifestyle and helped me find my flavour and style. Discovering D/s was the answer to the ache of something missing throughout my vanilla life and relationships. It was the oracle, the chalice and i eagerly filled it with my D-type character and personality.

So, here is my Lexicon Of Domhood.

1. A Dom does not demand respect from his sub, he behaves in such a way that he is worthy of and earns first the respect, and then the surrender of his sub.

2. A Dom does not shout and bark non-sequititious commands and orders. His presence is such that he can seduce and command with a look, or gaze, or wave of his hand. When a command is spoken, it is gentle, unshakeable, firm. A Dom does not need to raise his voice, the tone and timbre of his spoken word carries his authority and sincerity.

3. A Dom is not a braggart, a misogynist, a narcissist. He is possessed of a calm, quiet confidence that is evident in his demeanour, the way he walks, his gait, tone, dress sense and all other aspects of his being.

4. A Dom understands balance. He knows that whilst a firm hand and discipline are critical in this type of relationship, knowing when to be gentle and understanding is every bit as important as being strict and punishing his sub for transgressions and missives.

5. A Dom is a gentleman first and foremost. This does not mean that he is a shallow fancy man who only values the superficial and ephemeral things in life. He is a man of manners, kindness and protocol. His ways are enshrined is a framework of fair and consistent rules, protocols and rituals that give his sub a space to surrender in, and be free to expand, grow and find her true primal womanhood.

6. A Dom is a protector. He knows his sub has surrendered her mind and body to him and he is responsible with the gift that he has. He makes sure that his sub feels safe and protected all of the time, and not with empty words, but true manly pack leader type protection. He places his hand on her shoulder or waist when in crowds so that she knows he is always there. He walks on the side of the path next to the road to shield her from any potentially errant car. He sleeps between her and the door and he is prepared to fight like a wolf if required to protect her.

7. A Dom earns submission and surrender, it is not a thing to be demanded, expected or forced. It is a prize that must be lived up to each day.

8. A Dom values his subs surrender. He knows that fully submitting her will and trusting her body and wellbeing to him takes a kind of trust and confidence in him being responsible with what is very special.

9. A Dom understands that being Dom is 10% privilege and 90% responsibility. He is accepting responsibility for her mental and physical wellbeing. He is accepting responsibility for the most sacred and important thing his sub has to offer and he must prevail as a man, a gentleman and protector at all times.

10. A Dom is consistent, stalwart and chivalrous. His set of rules are his code and knows that he must be a true and authentic Dom on days that he might feel unwell.

11. Being Dom is about setting standards, communication, levels of trust and authenticity with yourself and your sub.

12. A Dom is fair, but strict. His punishments should only be used as a last resort and he understands that nurturing instead of beating is more proactive and healthy for his sub. If she transgresses, her feelings of contrition for letting her Dom down will overwhelm her and she will learn from this alone. Beating a sub for the Doms pleasure alone is dysfunctional and morally reprehensible.

13. Authentic Doms have a healthy respect for others and themselves. They have a kind and generous nature and understand that being Dom is being a natural and effective leader, not a psychotic dictator. Self loathing and bolshy arrogance have no place in a D/s relationship.


So, this is my flavour, my style and the wellbeing or state of my sub is a reflection on the quality of Dom that I am.