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The Tao of an Authentic Dom

I hope you enjoy reading my entries here. I enjoy expressing myself with my compositions. I am not a writer, just a lover of English and expression through words a beautiful way to brain dump and share.

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5 years ago. April 1, 2019 at 7:24 PM

This is a revised version of one my old posts.  Hope you enjoy.

 

The D/s and M/s dynamic is much more intense and immersive
than any vanilla relationship and thus, clear communication is
essentially more important. A firm memorandum of
understanding must exist between Dom and his sub. Failure to
establish rules, protocols and rituals will inevitably result in
confusion and disarray. This will erode the dynamic and leads to
a confused sub who does not respect or trust her Dom. It is
imperative to have your subs trust or your relationship will not
reach the addictive and intoxicating heights that D/s is all about.
Also, compliance can only come when deep trust is established.
The most successful D/s relationships that I have witnessed
always carry a framework of rules to which both parties adhere
and use as a guide. Some Dom/Masters have verbal sets of
rules, others have more formal contracts, which are becoming
more popular as they avoid doubt.

I champion clearly written and mutually agreed rules and
specific punishments for transgression of these rules. I must
point out that it is not a good idea to have safe words for
punishments as this means your sub actually has final say over
the use of such and this puts power in her hands with erodes
the efficacy of the Doms authority. This also diminishes the
effectiveness of the punishment. That said, a clever sub will
behave and avoid punishment. Sometimes contrition itself is
enough of a punishment.

I also think that a lucid understanding of what is expected
between Dom and sub is vital for the good health and mental
wellbeing of the girl. The subs well being must always be at the
forefront of the Doms mind.

I always compose a written document which is agreed up front
by both parties before I fully accept a girls submission.
Getting to the point of being offered submission is also
important to me. There needs to be a connection and bond, a
desire to give submission on the girls part, and a desire to be
her Dom on my part, even if it is a short term training
arrangement and not along term relationship. This might sound
a little over formal to some, but it avoids doubt and vagaries
that lead to misunderstanding and potential issues. It is not a
decision that either party should take lightly. By accepting a girls
submission the Dom have a huge responsibility on his hands.
As part of accepting a girls submission to me I induce them into
my style of D/s with what I call “The Sub/slaves Surrender
Ceremony”. This ceremony is purposely highly ritualistic,
erotically charged and visually intense. I have used this ritual
with brand new subs and those with experience. It is always
highly successful in setting the scene, rules and expectations
for the future of the relationship, how ever long that may be.
For new inexperienced subs it is an excellent way to introduce
them to the very highly sexual nature of this kind of dynamic
and relationship. For experienced girls it cleanses them of past
indoctrination and behaviours learned from previous D/s
relationships and creates a blank canvass from which to form
the new relationship upon.

Any new D/s relationships should start with a clean fresh
canvas, unfettered by baggage from previous experiences,
Doms and relationships. This ceremony is the catalyst and
change event that sets the future direction of your time together
and allows your new sub to let herself go.

The goal is to strip the girl of her clothes, her armour, her
facade and her masks. She must be cleansed of all vanilla
inhibitions and insecurities or past dynamic nuances, and
prepped for what is to come. She must be left feeling vulnerable
and exposed. A little fear and trepidation is good as it heightens
the senses and makes her feel a little raw. Once this is
achieved she is ready to take on the colours of her new Dom .
This is how it goes

The Sub/slave Surrender Ceremony.

Allow at least 3 hours undisturbed for this ritual. The scene is
set at either the Doms home or a Hotel. Avoid doing this at the
sub home if possible. It is better to be enacted in the Doms own
territory to ensure that total power exchange is achieved.
There must not be anywhere familiar for the girl to retreat to.
Feel free as a Dom to add or omit content to suit your own way.
This is merely my mantra and will not suit everyone. The
objective must remain the same though. total surrender of mind
and body, total power exchange, acceptance by you as the
Dom/Master of that submission and responsibility for the future
wellbeing of your submissive.

Planning is important. What play scenes if any are we going to
act out ? Have any toys or implements ready beforehand. EG
rope, cuffs, collar, impact implements, toys etc. Have soft drinks
and possibly some biscuits or chocolate for after care. This is
an intense scene, she will likely go into sub space, possibly for
the first time and you will need to care for her at some point.
In my case I have a sturdy massage table, rope, cuffs, impact
implements and a magic wand. (I always have a new one for
each girl). I stock up on drinks, chocolates and even crisps as
some girls like savoury.

At the agreed time the sub should arrive and certainly not be
late. I walk her into the living room and have her stand in what I
call slave position 1. I mimic the Gorean slave positions but
have numbers for them instead of names. Position 1 is standing
upright, hands folded behind back, legs open, chest out, eyes
down as a sign of respect. I have found most Dom and Masters
use some form positions suit themselves.

She is in the middle of the floor and I walk around her,
inspecting her, leaning in now and then to smell her perfume.
She is a pleasing sight and thus begins her surrender to me.
I have instructed her to arrive in a dress and no underwear. She
is most likely feeling very nervous at this point and it is vital that.
She needs to feel vulnerable. she is also likely experiencing
trepidation and some fear. This is good, You need her to have
heightened senses. Without any more pause or hesitation order
her to remove her dress and retake position 1 completely
naked. I always stand behind her as she does this. Allow her to
feel your presence.

Once she is naked slowly take in the sight before you. Walk
around her, take time and gaze at what is being offered to you
for you to own. Enjoy the shape or her naked body, and breathe
in the tense erotic atmosphere. Follow her curves with the tip of
your finger. Watch her skin twitch as you gently touch her.
There stands before you a prize to be taken and now it is time
to honour her and Dom her.

I run my hands lightly over the curves of her hips, her arse, her
shoulders, her breasts. Just lightly, making the skin prickle
under my touch. Enough to make her breath a little more deeply
and faster. A tease, yes, but also a time to take in the natural
beauty of this wholesome woman who stands before me,
naked, vulnerable, exposed , mine, or soon to be.

It is time to take control. I stand behind her reach around and
firmly grab hold of her pussy with one hand and her throat with
the other. I pull her to me tightly and lock her body against
mine. I force her head back onto my shoulder, exposing her
neck, which I bite, not too hard, just enough, taking the naked
flesh into my mouth, she knows who is in control now. I keep my
grip, turn her a little and kiss her hard and deep. I move in front
of her, grab her hair and pull her head back, that throat again.
Kiss it and bite it. Keeping a firm hold on her pussy, pulling her
lower half to me. Hook your finger inside her and massage her
G spot as you do this. Look her in the eye, show her your wild
side and that you have control of her pussy. I usually thrust a
second finger in and lift her a little, forcing my finger to her
uterus, but not painfully, just forcefully.

It’s time to inspect my new sub at close quarter, I order her onto
an arm chair with her shoulders on the back of the chair, her
knees at the front, legs apart, back arched, arse and pussy in
the air. This is similar to one of my favourite positions, which I
call number 5. Usually on the floor, shoulders down, ready for
me to wreak havoc on her naked arse and pussy, but that is
another scene.

So, on the chair I command her to reach around and spread her
arse cheeks open wide so that I can see deep inside her hot,
wet pussy and arse. This is probably the most addictive sight I
know. Your sub totally exposed and bare. Showing you what is
now yours to use as you see fit. She must become familiar with
this position and highly explicit behaviour. There is no room I
this relationship for inhibitions, shyness, or hiding her pussy
from you.

I enjoy this sight for a while, feeling her arse, running a finger
over her anus and pussy lips. I run my hands over her,
squeezing here and there, getting familiar with her shape, her
bumps, her wobbly bits, her womanly body. Gauge the
responses to your touch and begin to acknowledge how she
reacts to your approach. Adjust to intensify the pleasure she
feels as needed. Her exposed condition will tighten her sexual
response, she is likely to be dripping wet. Dont let that g to
waste.

I move my hands to her arse and pussy and kneed them,
squeeze them, feel them. I thrust my fingers inside her and feel
that hot wetness, the eagerness of her pussy to be explored is
now obvious.

This goes on for a good 15 minutes and has the effect of
relaxing the girl, and little by little she becomes more turned on
and used to being exposed. She is likely really enjoying this
now so encourage her verbally using explicit language. This is
exactly when I take things up a notch.

So, I now have her sit next to me on the sofa with one leg up on
the sofa and the other on the floor, she is now opposite me and
in a completely exposed slutty position, her legs open wide,
pussy in full view, facing me. New subs are not used to the
“slut” dynamic of D/s relationships and might find it difficult to
relax and adjust at first. This exposed position is highly charged
and erotic and over a few minutes she will become more
comfortable and at ease. She will begin to enjoy it and relax
into it.

Purposely, I talk about nothing in particular so that her exposed
position becomes a norm. You want her to become used to
being naked for you with her pussy in full view. I require my
sub to be mostly naked and her pussy ready for me at any time
when we are alone behind closed doors . As we talk
nonchalantly I run my hands up and down her inner thigh, the
road to heaven as I call it, teasing and sensitising her for what
is to come.

I order her spread her pussy open wide and enjoy what I see
before me. As we talk by tell her to rub her slowly pussy for me
to enjoy. I typically let this gone on for 15-20 minute and usually
this gets close to orgasm, but do not let her cum, you must be
in control of her orgas. It is a good thing to edge her though,
this ads to the intensity when you finally allow her release.
Right, now to get down to business. Most of you had heard of
the “G” spot and those of you who know where is, I salute you.
However, not many men, or women for that matter, know that
other than the clitoris, woman have two other highly sensitive
erogenous areas around their pussy that if manipulated
properly, with leave the girl dazed and on the edge of orgasmic
armageddon.

Introducing the “U” spot and the “A” spot., The what spots ? I
hear you exclaim. Yep, two wonderfully sensitive nerve
intensive areas that with the right manipulation will take the girl
to place of orgasmic wonderment.

The “U” spot is the small area of flesh between the introitus and
Urethra, and the “A” spot is the fleshy tissue at the back of the
vagina just above the Uterus. So, how do these magic “Spots”
work ? Well, before we move to them we need to stimulate the
clitoris and surrounding area first, to get the blood flowing and
engorge the veins. This increases sensitivity to the organ as a
whole and heightens the pleasure responses.

Not may men know this, but the Clitoris has a similar amount of
nerve endings to the head of the Penis. Imagine then, the effect
on the woman if stimulated either correctly or incorrectly. It’s
important to understand the biological make up of this area.
Consider for a moment that the Clitoris is a tiny Penis. Take the
base of it between your finger and thumb and move up and
down, just like with a Penis. Push right down to the shaft which
is inside the woman. Get this right and look at her face as you
do it. Make sure you are moist. Make use of her juices where
possible. Do not let her cum. If she gets to the edge, stop and
let it subside. Indeed, if you can, take her to the edge and then
stop. Do this many times. She might get a little fishy about it,
but her orgasm is yours to own and she needs to know this.
Switch between doing the above and rubbing a finger up and
down over the Clitoris and gauge how much pressure is
pleasurable for her. Like men, each woman is different. Some
will like it soft, others will like a lot of pressure. You have to get
this right, so take time to measure her response and learn what
she likes best.

Now move back to the up and down movement over the shaft of
the Clitoris. She should be warming up and moaning by now, so
take both hands and one either side of the Clitoris and outer
labia then push in firmly which will push the lips and Clitoris
outward. Move each hand up and down in opposite directions
firly, feeling for the shaft of her Clitoris as you do it. Watch her
squirm and moan. Be firm and do this for a minute of so. She
might want to cum, do not let her.

She is warmed up, she should be very wet and ready for the
next bit, which will blow her away.

Part her pussy lips and with your tongue make small circular
movements around the “U” spot area. Do not be tempted to lick
her Clitoris or inside just yet, it is important that you stimulate
this area alone for now. Do this for about 30 seconds.
Kneel beside her, put one hand firmly on her décolletage to pin
her down. This is the area that between the neck and breasts
that becomes flush during sex, and it is also an erogenous zone
so will heighten her response from your touch. Your firm press
restrains her, but also stimulates this area along with the next
action.

With your free hand thrust your 2 middle fingers firmly into her
pussy and bend them upwards slightly in an “L” shape. Push to
the back of the pussy and feel the flesh of the “A” spot above
the uterus. With quick firm movements bluntly thrust your
fingers into this fleshy area. Do this firm and fast. She will gasp,
she will writhe, she will have a look of utter surprise on her face.
She will likely force herself down onto your fingers, but you
must keep control. She will easily cum now, so be careful not to
let her, the time is not right yet.

Now, a word of warning. This technique drives most women
crazy but will tax your strength rapidly if not done right. Use all
of your arm, not just your wrist or you will tire quickly. Do not be
to gentle and do not be afraid of hurting her. If she has an injury
or over sensitivity you might have to adjust the pressure of the
thrust, but most women are surprised at just how amazing this
is if they have never experienced it.

Do this for a minute, but still do not allow her to cum yet, as she
may well want to. Then bend your fingers in a “U” shape and
apply the pressure in an up and down movement to the “G”
spot. If you are not sure where this is, it is the highly textured
fleshy and bony area above the Introitus. With a firm hand and
pressure, thrust up and down over this area and she will gasp,
squeal and find it difficult not to orgasm. If you think she is
about to cum, stop and let it subside. She must not be allowed
to cum until the prescribed moment, soon.

If you have the strength, manipulate her “A” spot some more, if
not, go back to the “U” spot with your tongue and rest your
hand.

Another way to rest but keep up the intensity is to turn your
hand over and gently move in and out of the pussy, rubbing the
flesh at the bottom. When ready, return quickly and with firm
movements to her “A” spot again. By this time she will be jelly
like and it is at this time that I like to introduce some light
spanking into the play to mix pleasure with mild pain an confuse
her senses. The endorphin rush after around 6 strikes will fuse
with the pleasure she is feeling. The aim is to totally unbalance
her and this usually does the trick.

The best way to do this is for her to again take position 5 on an
armchair. This gives you freedom to move around her and you
will see why.

Arse firmly in the air, slap each cheek 3 to 4 times and then
grab the flesh firmly. Slap 3-4 times a little harder, then rub the
flesh firmly. Slap 3-4 times to the point that she squeals, then
grab. The goal is to get the blood flowing and endorphins
flooding her body.

Remember, her pussy is in a state of heightened pleasure and
is engorged with blood. It will respond dramatically to your
touch at this point.

Grab and hold the inner thigh tissue, not too hard, just enough.
Firmly rub the inner thigh, then hard slap to each cheek, then
thrust 2 fingers into her pussy. In and out 3 times and then slap
5-6 times, then fingers in and out, then slap.

Now, grab her hair, ram those fingers into her and hold her by
the hair and pussy. Ask her “Who’s pussy is this ?” By now she
should say “Yours Sir”.

“Good girl” I tell her. Slap, rub, slap, slap, slap, grab, fingers.
Each girl is different in the way they respond, you have to
gauge what is working. I also rub the pussy and Clitoris during
this play and I use a variety of instruments. My favourite is a
flogger. A good quality one, suede. I dance the tongues over her
naked back, and gently run the leather up her thighs, over her
pussy and arse, then with a deft circular action, THUD ! across
her glowing arse. This implement will thud and slap if you get a
good one. It also tickles and rubs. I spend a lot of time using
this all over her body. Run the suede over her face and have
her smell the leather. It is musky, gorgeous.

Now, have her turn over on the chair and bring her legs up and
wide open. You have a face full of thigh, pussy and arse. Mildly
flog the whole area to bring the blood flow to the surface. With
one hand gently slap her pussy, measure her response. Adjust
the pressure to suit. You want her to feel mild pain only. Slap,
then rub, slap the thigh, then grab, slap pussy, rub. Then ram 2
fingers in hard onto her “A” spot again and she will gasp. Finger
fuck this area for 15 seconds, then move to the “G” spot again.
Do not be too gentle, this must be rough. Hold her down with
the other hand. Move between both spots and still do not allow
her to cum, and she will desperately want to by now.

Again, flog her thighs, the soles of her feet and pussy, rubbing
after a few blows.

One hand on her throat, thrust 2 fingers into her, cup them and
pull up slightly to lock her pussy to you. Again and whilst looking
in her eyes, ask her “Who’s pussy is this ?” Be firm and stout of
voice. Be commanding. She will be compliant by now.

I usually introduce the Magic wand toy at this point. You know
the one, Hitachi made it to massage tense tight muscles. Of
course they did.

This toy is very intense snd has to be used with care. Nah, fuck
that, full setting and place i hard on the clitoris. She will squeal.
Take it off and rub it over the whole area, do not let her cum.
Manipulate the whole pussy for a few minutes with this toy and
watch it swell up and go bright red

Move your mouth over her pussy, purse your lips in an “O”
shape and suck her clitoris onto your mouth. Suck hard, get it
all in and then move up and down over it, licking the head,
nibbling gently, biting softly, up and down over the shaft, let go
and lick around her “U” spot again. Spend a few minutes doing
this, always gauging her response, never letting her cum.
Reward time. Go to her “A” spot and give her 30 seconds of
thrusts, if she has not Cum by then, move to her “G” spot and if
you get this right she will cum like a breached Dam. Expect her
to be loud and encourage her, give her permission to cum and
respond to her spasms with your fingering technique. Do not
stop until she is totally drained and a soggy wet, orgasmic mess
under your hand. Hold her for as long as it takes for her to
recover, and this could easily be minutes.

Help her up, move to the sofa, sit and have her sit on your lap,
cuddle her, compliment her, tell her what a ‘Good girl” she is.
She will most likely be in sub space right now, so will need
some after care. You might be prepared with a drink and
possibly a biscuit.

After a while sit her to the side of you and spread her legs open.
She must be naked and on display for you. She must not close
her legs or cover her pussy. Remember, it is now yours by her
own consent. There is nothing more beautiful and inviting than a
sub girl with her pussy on display for her Dom. In this position
talk about your rules, protocols and rituals. It is symbolic that
you are still dressed and she is in this slutty position. Do not
change it. To further increase the intensity of this dynamic,
command her to spread her pussy open for you periodically,
and then to play with it for your pleasure. This sets the scene for
how she should behave when you are alone in the future.

Many notice at this point that there has not been any cock play.
There is a reason for this. 1. It shows that you, the Dom are in
control of your loins, and 2. You are in control of this play scene
and ceremony, which is about her surrender.

Depending on the girl, some will be begging for your cock by
now, and up to this point, you must deny her. Your cock must be
seen as a reward. She must ask for it, nay, beg for it.

Once you have finished agreeing your terms etc, have her
kneel before you, arms behind back, legs open. Walk around
her, feel the tension build, grab her hair and force her head
back. If you, the Dom/ Master, are of a mind, take your cock
and thrust it into her mouth. Do not be gentle, Dom her mouth
with your cock. Fuck her mouth, make her gag. Hold her onto
you all the way in. I sometimes do this for a few minutes, then
zip up. I am in control, not my sub or my cock. Me.

Now, order her to position 5 on the floor. Spend a few moments
enjoying the sight before you. rub her pussy, slap her arse,
finger her pussy and anus, run your hands all over her roughly.
She is yours now. She has totally submitted and
from this day forward, you have a huge responsibility on your
hands.

I will generally play further from here and make her cum in a
variety of ways using tongue, toys and fingers. I may put my
cock in her mouth a few times, but never fuck her on the first
play session, I want her to be wanting, needing and begging, so
that the next time we are alone, it is even more ecstatic than the
first. My cock is always her prize for being a slut, obedient and a
good girl.

I have performed variants of this ceremony with a number of
sub/slaves and each went away a different woman. This ritual is
dynamic, intense and the power exchange is palpable. The
build up to her first orgasm with you is volcanic.

The eroticism of her being exposed to you, her new Dom/Master, is an
unbelievable turn on for both. Do this right, plan it, think about it,
then execute it with intellectual rigour and physical Dominance.
Your new sub will be putty in your hands. She will not be able
to wait for your next encounter. Nor will you actually.
Feel free to mix and mash this up with your own style and
techniques. Above all, enjoy, but do try to capture the essence
of the power exchange, eroticism, and the prize that your sub has given to you, her new Dom.


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