Have you ever sat down and wondered if you were good enough? Ever stopped to think am I worth all the stress and problems I am causing? Than reality hits that no matter how hard you try you'll just never be good enough for some people. After that someone amazing comes along and makes you realize that the way you've been treated all your life is just wrong? That you're a better person than people want you to think? Well that's how I spend everyday. Now most people will say "Well those people don't deserve to be in your life if they treat you like that." I have to agree, but what if that's the only way you feel connected to real life?
I joined the Cage so I could finally be my true self. But it's very hard considering I have to hide who I truly am from 99% of people around me. It often makes you wonder if they ever truly cared about you since you feel the need to hide it. Espicially when it's your family. Makes me wonder if I am good enough to be considered their daughter. Am I really worth all the pain and suffering I am putting them through as I get my life back together?
But thanks to my amazing dom, Curious Dom I am starting to realize that yes I am good enough. It's taken almost 2 weeks of me having to say it 10 times a day in a mirror for me to believe it. But slowly but surely I am realizing that I am a beautiful women and I am good enough. So I just have to say if you don't think you are good enough maybe you just haven't found the right person to show you the truth yet.
So I have always been like this. But it became 100 times worse when I was dating a "Dom". Now I put dom in air quotes because I was young, naive and stupid. I thought he loved me when he would slap me across the face because I wouldn't do my hard limits. He made me feel worthless and like trash. So the terrible feelings increased. I, sadly, stayed with this "dom" for a few months. I finally ended it when he began to choke me. Now choking was always a soft limit because the idea of it scared me. He decided one day without talking it over or anything that he was going to choke me. Needless to say it is now a hard limit. He almost killed me. He used to call me things like trash and garabage. He used to spit on me in public. I was never allowed to talk to any man what so ever. Even if he was my doctor or a cashier. One time he forced his way into my OBGYN office to tell them that I was trash and tried to force them to change my medication. I am no longer aloud at that office.
So because of this "Dom" I hid my true submissive self away for a few years. I was terrified to be myself again. That's when I joined the cage trying to find myself. As I was on here I had a few bad experinces. Guys acting interested until I insisted on getting to know them first. Some acted interested until I wouldn't give them what they wanted and I would get ghosted. I was starting to think something was wrong with me. Why were all these doms acting this way?
Than I met Curious Dom. He showed me how a true dom will care for his submissive. The first week of him and I talking all we did was get to know each other. While we went over my limits we never really talked about anything sexual. He listened to everything I had to say about my past and why things where the way they were. He even got mad when I told him about my past abuse. The first night he stayed up the entire night just to make sure I was okay. He showed me what its like to have someone care, and that shook me to the core. He always listens to when I have to complain, which can be a lot sometimes. He talks me through things I never thought I would end up sharing. I had a mental breakdown last week and instead of him getting annoyed or frustrated he stayed and talked to me through thewhole thing. He also punishes me when I put myself down because he says I deserve so much better than that. He makes me feel wanted and like I actually deserve to be cared for. It was a life changing thing to realize. Now i still have moments when I doubt myself. When I feel as if I am not good enough. He'll sit there and talk me through it. He'll tell me how I am good enough, how the past stuff that's happened to me doesn't define me.