I was feeling so in the mood today, that I almost changed my cage profile. Maybe it was boredom, maybe this old soul is just getting tired before her years. I very much wanted to change my whole profile, or delete it.
A little preface, I am actually in a really good place. Not lacking for anything, even a relationship as I work on me and my very busy life. I pretty much have no time to commit to dating. It is when I feel like this, that these strong willed moments come up, when I predict and analyze what happened and could happen the next time I am ready to start looking again. This round, it made me shudder, that there is something missing in the meeting people realm. That it may not even be worth it, which is a lot coming from someone who craves touch and needs that piece of mind that only a Dom can give her.
I thought to change my profile, but given time, I thought better of it. I like my profile and I want to stay that carefree, always happy and kind person. Though it is still a relevant topic, I chose that it belongs here, so I don't forget my process and how empowered I feel at this point in my life, even if it is at the expense of the potential great people I have yet to meet. To them, I apologize. To the rest, this one is for you ;)
Happier Posts again next week! lol! Have a great Wednesday.
So Today's Profile is:
I have gotten tired of talking about myself. Pouring my heart out to people, only to find out, after putting in the time, that they never did or could do what they said they wanted. It is exhausting.
I don't mind talking to you, but I am not looking for a Dom right now, mostly because of these people who have no self reflection.
I am different, so if you are not different, or are not looking for different, do not approach me please. I have talked to and met enough people who want a deeper relationship, but their attitude will NEVER elevate them to having that relationship. This is important: If you treat me like you have treated others in the past, you will not like the outcome.
I am not broken, or hurting. It is unfortunate that there are so many here who have been broken or hurt. That is not me. I have never let someone tear me down or tell me I was less worthy, they have tried... Yet still, I have been the deepest of submissives, the most freeing of lovers and the most vulnerable of partners.
If you are broken, into broken, or used to treating women a certain way because of the type you have dated, please move along.
I may seem harsh, but I am one of the kindest people you will meet, genuine and I have internal happiness. It is intimidating. Yes, as a Dom, you just scoffed. But I will unwillingly challenge how you see yourself, if you can give me what I need. Without a word, I will stand tall and you will have to stand with me, even when I am kneeling. It is too much for most. If you are not different, think different, act different, then I am not the one for you.
I will give everything to your lead. If you don't know what you want, or how to communicate the value added things, or that being in charge is a presence, not just having control, please move along.
I will evaluate your communication, that is how trust is built. No, it is not how many words you can say per minute, or how 'well' you can argue, it is if you speak what is on your mind, make decisions when you need to, and ask my opinion when you want to. It is the little things, like leaving the room to make a phone call and letting me know, because you were aware that it would affect me if you disappeared for 30 minutes. Telling me when you think of something that includes me. Develop ideas, be forthcoming with information that is relevant and not reactive. I have been with extroverts who can't go a literal minute without speaking, yet they can't tell me what their plans are for the evening, or the weekend, or talk about our next scene, without it being like pulling teeth. Substance.
Ask yourself, before you think that I might be "just what you are looking for":
- Do you speak to hear your own voice, to fill the silence? Or can you speak with substance?
- Do you communicate outside of an argument? Or are your "words" only used to defend your insecurities, your pride, to be "in control" without actual control?
- Do you plan out your day, your year, your life?
- Are you Emotional? I am not. Yes, I will cry if I am being screamed at, or if I have done something wrong. But I will not make it your problem. Maybe consider if you do the same. Or maybe when you get emotional, you get insecure and need validation on your feelings? If you can't ask for that, you will not get it. If you are upset, or I have upset you and you cannot tell me how to fix it, I will not fix it. I will save you time, stop testing me on it, just don't message me.
Please do not tell me how smart I am. How you love how my brain works, just to call that same brain stupid and "retarded" in an argument in an attempt to shame my intelligence. It will not go well for you.
If you have EVER brought up someone's past, that they have disclosed to you in confidence and vulnerability and trust, in an argument, just to hurt them, move along. You argue immaturely and I don't have time for that.
Will you give me choice? I am happy to say I have never chosen to not submit. It is who I am. But when your communication is lacking and you won't even give me the options. That is a you problem. I won't guess in our relationship, and I won't feel bad for having guessed wrong.
If you don't know when you are going to set up our next scene, date, outing, what you might want me to wear, and communicate that to me, then please move along. If you are perpetually stuck in your head of "what might she want and I don't want to say the wrong thing" without actually vocalizing it, then you will guess wrong, and please move along. If you don't want to take action for us both, or can't outline a simple plan, then maybe you should be the submissive. I am not asking for you to decide what *I* do at every moment.... I *NEED* to know what *YOU* have planned, so I can work around it, be prepared for it, do my own thing otherwise. Not perpetually expect to be needed at a moments notice and get nothing else accomplished while I wait for you to decide, or not. Because if I just up and do my own thing, your poor sensibilities get offended. It is just poor communication, and I won't guess every aspect of something you wont tell me. I am not sure when or why society had made relationships just a series of guessing what the other person wants because they wont say, but you need to shelf those vanilla habits. I guess all day to be part of society, I won't do it at home.
Thank you for listening. I hope this saves you some time. I look forward to talking to you about everything else, if you think you want a D/s relationship, and not just the juggling of someone elses insecurities.
XoXo - Oracle Pollon.
