This part of my journey I plan on taking us across the seas and far far away to the “Land of the Morning Calm”. Otherwise known as Korea.
I didn’t want to spend too much time discussing how I met my first husband and that relationship, although it is important to note that I was just 20 when I married him. I had no idea what I -really- wanted. I thought he’d make a good woman out of me. I’ve always felt so dirty and corrupt. Maybe it was because of my kinks and sexual appetite. I wanted everything. Even then. I just didn’t know what it was I was looking for. Someone to love me and tell me I was beautiful even though I was a slut…or because I was. I’ll just refer to my first husband as “the Punisher”, and not in a good way.
Freshly married, we shipped out to Korea together. His position, where we were stationed, afforded him the opportunity to take an EMT class. His instructor was a lovely young woman. His course required a stay over in Seoul to observe the ER at the hospital there. When he returned, I was getting his clothes ready to take to the laundry and found a note he wrote… to her. It said something about the best night that never happened.
Now… I realize this meant that they didn’t have sex. However… in my young mind.. he betrayed my trust… emotionally. Naturally I was upset and confronted him. He made me feel like I had no right to feel upset because I had so many sexual partners before I married him… He made me feel so worthless.
I never recovered from that. He never felt he was wrong.
That being said…. I had to paint a picture of where I was mentally when I got involved with my spanker.
My unit performed missions throughout the wee hours of the night and morning. My partner for most of these missions was a guy who was relatively good looking and kind. We hung out a lot, on and off duty. During our missions we would have hours we would spend inside a small diagnostic van… alone… just the two of us. We talked a lot. He comforted me when I was visibly upset about that note.
One night… it happened. I’m not sure what came over him but I decided to lay over a spinning stool and spin around while we waited for our data to download after our mission. He stopped my spin and his hand smacked my ass sharply. I gasped and felt my face flush and my heart race and moisture collect between my legs. What the fuck? Was my first thought… I spun back around and looked up at him in shock and said, “You might want to stop doing that.” … He was grinning! He asked “Or what?”… I really didn’t know but I had the need to launch myself off the stool at him… with not a plan to what came next. I stammered in my response, “It’s kinda turning me on”. He spun me back around and gave me a few more really hard swats. That was it… I jumped off the stool and clung to him like a mad woman and we started making out. He’d bite my lips and pinch my nipples… and it made me absolutely crazy.
We carried on our affair until I left the country… still married to the punisher. I confessed the affair. It just gave him more stuff to punish me for. Ten years. Hell.