Years went by and I had dropped all contact with the lover. I was trying. I was doing everything I could do. I was finding myself. Husband never changed.
The husband and I had purchased a very nice luxury townhouse. The neighbors were great. It was close to work. The master bath had a soaking tub... or garden tub, as they call them. The bathroom was a hideous salmon pink.
Shortly before everything went completely south, my husband and I painted the bathroom chartreuse. Just one of my many favorite colors. It’s great for colored pencils.... A bathroom... not so much. I thought it looked fabulous with the olive green towels I bought. *shrugs*. Goblin fashion.
Anyway... I was taking a Reiki class. All three degrees. I decided then I needed to get myself out of that house. I needed to get my kids out too ... I didn’t know how but I needed to.
I had a dream that I went on a date with Jesus and we were comparing our Birkenstocks. He rode me around on his bike. I told my husband about this dream and he got jealous. Of Jesus.
Time to go.
I allowed the kids to stay with him, while I moved out to stay with my sister. I had come in contact with my lover once again.
I already wrote an entire blog about that painful ordeal. My first heartbreak. So I’m not going to rehash that mess. I’m FOCusing on this husband thing.
Because he had my lover down as one of his key witnesses to a divorce with cause... He had me believing all kinds of things. He governed how and when I could see the kids.
Everytime Id show up to the house for my visit, he would want to talk. By talk, I mean he would want to berate me, cuss at me, manipulate me, try to get me to incriminate myself, try to get me to agree to have sex... and when I would try to get away, he would do things like bend my car key.
One time I tried to call the police. I ushered the kids to go out the basement door to the neighbors and my husband wrestled me to the floor, snatched the phone out of my hand, hit his own arm on the stair railing, and called the cops on me. They threatened to arrest ME... when they showed up.
Finally... one day... the husband needed me to come watch the kids because he had to work an odd shift. But he went off on me because I had been on a date with an old friend of mine and somehow he got word of it. He spent a good 4 or 5 hours ... laying into me with words. In front of the kids. I tried to take it outside so they wouldn’t hear and he wouldn’t stop. Then he wouldn’t let me back in to care for them. Then he struck me hard on my head and I hit the railing of the front stoop. He walked off toward his car and said, “Don’t do anything stupid like run off to a shelter.”
That’s exactly what I did. I grabbed the kids and ran. Drained the money out of the joint account.... Got a protective order... He didn’t fight it. I had peace.