I seem to ramble on about everything, but I haven’t really shared much about my submissive journey.
When did it all begin for me?
(You must excuse any mistakes because I’m typing around a cat...he’s literally got his head resting ... okay he moved...phew)
At what point did I realize the pull? That desire?
I had to think about this. I took a good look at my childhood and I could identify some things that make more sense now.
I was a tomboy. I preferred matchbox cars and Star Wars figures over Barbies... traipsing through the woods over shopping for dresses (in fact I don’t think I would even wear dresses until I was about 11 or 12).
Now, this alone may not appear to give reason to my sub side, however, the reason why I was a tomboy- does.
When I was in kindergarten, I had a little boyfriend. He was from England and had an accent (which is probably why I love accents so much). He would tell me what to do... all the time. He told me who I could play with and what games I could play and I would just do everything he said. No questions.
We would play Star Wars together because that was our main common interest. He would tell me exactly which figures I could play with and tell me the scenario. Can you imagine this from a five year old?
He kissed me one time, at the bus stop. He dipped me and everything! Then promptly denied ever doing so. I didn’t care. I was stunned and head over heels for him. Besides... I had an entire bus stop full of jeering witnesses.
We were best friends for years. Our families were friends. He lived across the street... and when he moved away, our parents allowed sleepovers, only because our older sisters were best friends as well.
We never had a physical relationship. Ever. But he insisted that when we grew up we were going to get married, join the Army, and ride around in a tank. He had it all planned. I couldn’t argue!
The reality was, he moved away to Africa. We kept in touch but we never married each other. I joined the Army ... I think he became a marine. Not sure about any tanks though.
I never had a friend like him. I was a tomboy because it pleased him.
(To be continued)