From Darkness into the Light

Using words to cleanse my mind and soul

Overthinking

2 years ago. February 3, 2022 at 12:59 AM

Anyone else do this?
I overthink every. single. thing.

That’s why submitting is so freeing for me. And yes I WANT to be controlled in the bedroom but it’s my vanilla life that NEEDS to be controlled. When my vanilla life is being controlled I no longer have to think, only act. I get a sense of calm, a state of mindfulness, from not
having to make decisions.

I’ve been told that I’m a submissive with slave tendencies. Which I think I have evolved into over time.

I thrive on having a set of rules to follow in every type of situation.
I enjoy knowing what I’m supposed
to do and when.
I don't enjoy making decisions. I find it very stressful.
Never ask me what I want to eat or what restaurant I want to eat at….I can never choose!

My life is so dang chaotic when I’m not owned and guided. It’s only been a few weeks since I ask to be released. And my mind still overthinks. My mind is still restless. My soul is still healing and searching for what lies within me. My body misses that constant hum of arousal that guides me.

I’m taking the time I need to be a better sub for my next owner.

PS I will share later in another blog why I needed to be released. I still need time to process it all. But I will eventually share it.

Rollplay401(dom male) - Thank you for sharing your feelings it just takes time to adjust to being free don't rush let yourself heal and you will feel better for it in the future.

2 years ago

CelloCaster(dom male) - Thinking sucks :-)

2 years ago

AdorableMe(sub female) - Lol yes indeed it does

2 years ago

No Body(dom male) - There was a reason why you left, and you need to remember it. There were times when I wanted to stay but knew it was not good for either of us. Sometimes more me than her. I have been living with friends and I now understand why it is better to be truly in charge. My friend asks his partner "What do you want to eat?". An hour later we are going down the road to eat and get a call to be told what to bring home for the partner. My friend asks if I have to go through that with women. "Nope I know what I want and what she likes I order, and she eats or not her choice". To many times I had to wait and go through a bunch of I don't knows or what do you feel like and that is not what she wanted. Now it is we are going out and have dinner and that is it.
He tried it once and the hell he caught was to me funny as hell. He asked "what happened? Well one your lover there is not a sub two you are not a Dom three and most importantly you are a husband, and your place is in the wrong." I have been asked not to talk about my lifestyle and putting the wrong thoughts into his head again.

2 years ago

Voldemort(dom male) - Hope you are able to heal and find what you desire.

2 years ago

Mr Smith22(dom male) - Lucy,

Providing structure in the vanilla world is more challenging than in the Bdsm world. If you had a Dom capable of this, your request for “release” more intriguing yet. For over thinkers the solution is usually not to think at all. Try it as you fall into bed tonight.

2 years ago

AdorableMe(sub female) - Lol telling me not to think makes me think if that makes sense. And yes the point I was trying to make was that when I’m in a D/s relationship I don’t overthink because my Dom has totally taken on the decisions and schedules and so my focus is not from the mind but the body.

2 years ago

Mr Smith22(dom male) - Lucy, I did see your point, it’s nice not to think and when you have to it’s … we’ll… difficult. And yes my point was it’s impossible not to think, so focus… here’s an idea, write a Haiku about not thinking😉

2 years ago

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AdorableMe​(sub female)

From Darkness into the Light

Overthinking

AdorableMe(sub female)