Whether it's friendship, a dynamic, a relationship, even mentorship, they must always come to an end. Sometimes these relationships just fizzle out, but sometimes they end abruptly. No matter how they might conclude, they may leave you hurt and sometimes scared. So why do relationships end?
They end because very few people are worth a lifetime. I'm not trying to be pessimistic. I'm a very optimistic person, generally. However, I do believe in the clique poem. If you are unaware of what I'm referring to, it is that people are in our lives for a reason, a season, and a lifetime. I will put the whole poem at the end of this post if you desire to read.
Every time a relationship ends, like most people, I want to examine why. However, learning why a relationship ends is not always productive. Sometimes relationships end, because they were abusive, sometimes they end because both parties are just too busy at this point in their lives. The takeaway of examining why relationships end isn't always as valuable as we would like to think. So instead, I like to think about what lessons I learned from this relationship and how can I carry those lessons further into my life. I examine why that person was placed in my life.
Sometimes a person is only in my life for a moment to help me with a hurdle like surviving a forced social engagement I was not interested in. Sometimes relationships last longer like a friendship. I recently had a friendship end. Although heartbroken over the loss, I was fortunate enough to have a conversation with her as to why.
Although she said I was a great friend, she felt we didn't share much in common. I understood as I had felt that way at times as well. However, our friendship had two purposes. One, she was my first friend I made in my current city. I believe that our friendship was to help me feel settled and not so alone.
However, for her, our friendship was important because I helped her through her breakup with her abusive ex. I helped her normalize the thoughts that she had dealt with. Although the relationship had benefited us by helping us through different things, it had served its purpose.
The lesson I learned from this friendship is that people will come and go in your life. Sometimes the purpose isn't to only benefit you, but the other. I also learned that by being calm and accepting that the friendship was over, I could calmly discuss with her and evaluate our relationship. At the end of the day, by wishing someone the best in their life is the friendliest thing you can do.
I don't know if this post will help anyone, but I thought I would share.
"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant."
— Unknown
