Firecracker Diaries - A combination of stories, random thoughts and an appreciation log of life with Daddy

Potty Training...

We have a new sweet puppy...we have had him about a month now and we are still potty training. This is like having a kid...for real!!

He does great all day long while in the crate while we are at work. He does great when we quarantine him in the bathroom at night. It’s while he is out and about that he will poop!!! Not pee...but poop! We take him out and walk forever and he won’t do it...come in the house and he will wait until we turn our backs for a moment and then poop on the stairs!

The funny thing is is that he knows he has done wrong. He knows he’s about to be in trouble right after he does it! Ugh!!! I have no idea how to break him of this??? I’m assuming it’s just gonna take a bit more time...like I said he’s still just a baby...he’s just over 4 months old.

But I do like this “parenting” experience with Daddy. He is such a loving and involved parent. He gets up in the middle of the night, he cleans carpets and decks, he mixes food and grooms the baby. It’s so endearing to watch him. He’s always in control of everything. I’m so glad that he’s the head of our lives...I’m blessed for sure!

Until tomorrow...

Christmas craze

If you haven’t been out shopping lately...don’t do it...it’s crazy out there!!

It always amazes me this time of year how people at towards each other. It’s both good and bad. I’ve seen it from both sides...

I’m always humbled when I see the extreme kindness that comes from people. Like there was the fire department just driving around today giving out candy and playing Christmas music...not just kids either...this was for everyone!

But then we go into a store and see people that are down right rude to others...over something simple like passing in the aisle. See mothers scolding their children just a little to harshly just because they are over frustrated with the crowds.

The kindness and goodness that is provoked by this season should spread year round....and the stress should be reduced to ensure the season can be throughly enjoyed.

Take the time to smile at someone, say happy holidays or something, give an extra dollar on that tip. Just be kind...

Until tomorrow

Moments...

I look through old pictures and see so many good memories and I wonder why I’m hardly ever in the pictures.

Some of that is my fault. For the longest time I didn’t like the way I looked so I avoided pictures at all costs. If there is a picture of me from the last 20 years it was because it was a group picture or I just happened to be in the background.

Over the past 16 months there are more pictures of me than have been taken in my entire life up to this point. I’m dead serious about that. Some of these pictures are because I am required to send Daddy a picture every day...no matter what...even when he is sitting right beside me. But the ones that flatter me most are the ones that Daddy takes.

I’ve never had anyone want to take pictures of me just because. Not even my mother! But Daddy loves to take pictures...of me, of us, of our life. He loves to share those pictures with everyone. He loves to get them printed and put up a frame or make a memory book...and I love it. I was always the one taking pictures and wanting to capture everyone...and now I still do that but so does he. He cherishes those photos like I do.

Having that makes you appreciate the pictures and the person even more. Don’t take it for granted when you are adored....and please take the time to adore your partner too.

Take more pictures....capture the moments...

Until tomorrow

Pleasing Daddy

I can’t remember if I’ve ever talked about this or not in any of my blogs...but I have learned that performing fellatio on Daddy is extremely satisfying to me. So much so that is turns me on something fierce sometimes.

I never liked it before him. I tired it a couple of times and hated it...so I wouldn’t do it. Now I want to do it to him...I look forward to it...and ask his permission to let me do it. Sometimes I can get lost in it...and when he is making noise and giving me praise while I’m doing it...even more so I get into it.

I love to hear him. I love his fingers in my hair. I love the look on his face and in his eyes when I look at him while I’m doing it. I fantasize about his pleasure...

I don’t know how or why it all changed for me...I am figuring that it’s because I have a connection with him and he’s truly the first man I have fully trusted.

Either way...I love it!

Until tomorrow  

Great sleep...

I’ve always been a great sleeper. I can sleep almost anywhere and can fall asleep at the snap of a finger. I’ve had my share of nightmare nights and restless sleep due to illness or anxiety. But for the most part I’m a really good sleeper.

The down side to that is I need sleep as well. I’m the type that I need at least 8 hours of sleep or I’m dragging. If I run on low sleep and coffee for multiple days...then my body will start to tell me I need sleep. I will get sick, or get depressed or I will just finally shut down and pass out somewhere.

Unfortunately for Daddy...he is not like this. He’s a really light sleeper (I could sleep through a train wreck). He has more days than I can count where he just can’t get to sleep. He wakes up super early even when he doesn’t have to. If he gets woken up...then he can’t go back to sleep. But he can still function like normal on minimal hours of sleep.

We have those days though that both of us get great sleep. I think when he gets good sleep...I sleep magnificent. I will say that he has gotten to where he can stay asleep past 6am on days off...not always but sometimes.

So if you’re a sleeper...enjoy it! For those of you that struggle...snuggle in tighter to someone ...it seems to be working for Daddy.

Until tomorrow

Visual Changes

I love to see positive changes in people. When people post their weight loss goals and pictures of their bodies...I love to see the progress. The hard work they put into the change is worth the reward...I know...it’s hard work.

But more than what you see for changes to their bodies...I like to see their faces. The change in their smiles from day one through their latest update. The smiles change dramatically. Especially when they have reached or are close to their goal. The look of personal pride in what they have accomplished and earned for themselves is the best part of the pictures.

I’ve been looking at pictures of myself over the past 2 years. I was looking to see the physical changes in myself from the past 18 months of eating right and exercising. In the past 20 months I have lost 80 pounds. I look physically different...but what I noticed the most is how much my smile has changed.

Even in my happy pictures from 18 months ago...I don’t look near as happy as I do now. Like I look like a totally different person! Did I even know what happy was then? My visual version of happy didn’t look like the happy I know now. Even as I was changing myself and getting myself where I needed to be...there was a different level of happy when Daddy came into my life.

He thought me how to be free and love myself. He thought me to open up and give all my worries and doubts to him...and let him have control. He thought me how to love with no boundaries and with real trust. He taught me what how to enjoy life. And through that my real smile emerged...my true happiness. And because of my pure devotion to him and to us...I don’t even remember that other person I used to be. I never want to be her again.

I am his forever...and he is mine. With that the pure love and happiness will always radiate from me...

Until tomorrow...

Obsessed...

Obsession can be fun and cute when your referring to your love for makeup or shoes...it’s not so cute when it’s unwanted.

I can easily say that I’m obsessed with Master...I want to be with him always. I want to serve his every need and be the prize on this arm. And as much as I love this life and everything we are together...if he ever were to betray me...I could turn it all off in a blind of an eye. Would I want to? No....but I would. Would I hurt and long to have our love again...YES...but betrayal is hard to recover from.

So with that said I have a hard time understanding people that are obsessed with something that they can never have. Especially for long periods of time. Why would you want to devote thoughts and energy to things that bring you down or don’t have a positive impact on your life?

Why would someone put time, energy, thoughts into to someone that doesn’t give a shit about them? I wouldn’t... I just don’t understand...and I hope I never do!!

Until tomorrow...

Drama...

I’m dealing with a whole lot of drama at work. Nothing to do with me...but everything to do with things that have happened before me. Now I’m the manager of a whole group of women that feel the need to voice all their grievances.

I’m listening and asking questions to get a better grasp on what the issues are. The more I listen the more I just shake my head at how women interact with each other.

Why do women tear each other down? Why do they feel the need to be petty and act childish? Why is it so hard for women to work together in harmony and celebrate each other’s achievements? Why can’t women just recognize when someone is doing a good job because they are doing a good job...there doesn’t have to be an underlying reason for their success.

All these ladies will have their chance to talk with me and I will have a chance to assess all of the things information...but they will all find that I DO NOT LIKE DRAMA. I don’t like it personally and definitely not at work. Every person has the right to have an opinion about people and decide on whether they want to be a friend to that person or not. Every person has the right to not like someone. But no one has the right to be rude or disrespectful to each other. You should be able to conduct business with anyone and maintain a level of professionalism...doesn’t matter what you think of them.

I also think that people should realize that the atmosphere you want to work in...is determined by how you make it. So if you create a hostile environment...then that’s how it will be for you. This expectation is from all sides...no exceptions for anyone. Treat people how you expect to be treated.

Until tomorrow...

Almost older...

It’s that time of year that rolls around and adds another year to my time. Which I’m one of these people that loves my birthday...but not what it gives me in time.

I can remember when my mother turned 30. I remember it vividly because she cried most of the day. I was 10 years old and remember not understanding why she was so upset. In a way I still don’t understand why you would get so upset over the inevitable. I mean I’m about to be 15 years older than she was at that time and I have never been that upset about it.

Having a December birthday is a blessing and a curse. I’ve never had a “party”, no surprise parties, people forget or you get lots of birthday/Christmas gifts. On the upside is you don’t have to have a whole lot of people gathered to remind you that your older, you can ask for your gifts to be combined to get something better and I’m a Sagittarius (better in bed) lol!

I can’t believe my age...I don’t feel that way at all. This past year has breathed new life in me and I feel like I can fly...I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that my body hangs with me! Lol

Until tomorrow...

Daily wind down...

Each day there is a wind up...getting coffee...getting more coffee, etc. It’s how you get yourself going for the day ahead. For me it’s music turned up loud, shower, coffee and then a little news before I hit the door. I’m sure everyone has their own version of this...

As for my wind down....this usually comes after dinner. There is usually an hour to 2 hours between then and bedtime. This is when I write my blog and watch Daddy do his thing winding down. This is also the time I get to just watch him and marvel at his movements, his hands and enjoy how my mind appreciates every inch of him. I sometimes read during this time as well...turning the stories to our faces and imagining our adventure as those characters. I try to also reflect on my day and my life and make sure I find something to appreciate. Some days are harder than others to do these things...but I find if I do my “wind down time” then I have less days like I did yesterday.

Take some time that’s just for you. Spend it how you want and let your brain rest of worries. Try to keep good thoughts flowing during this time...reset you brain and your emotions. Get to a place of relaxation and peace before you climb into bed and snuggle. Not only will it feel better, but your partner will feel it too...

Until tomorrow...