Firecracker Diaries - A combination of stories, random thoughts and an appreciation log of life with Daddy

Sunday Blues...

Today was one of those day’s that you have the blues but for no reason at all. So when asked “what’s wrong?” You can’t verbalize it...not because you don’t want to...but because you seriously don’t know!!

Nobody has done anything...there is no reason for the way you feel...you just do. How do you feel better when there is nothing wrong?

I just want to be held, cuddled and loved on. Maybe cry for no reason...just to let the tears out that are screaming to get out. Why does everything seem to be going wrong on these days...but nothing is really wrong? Your brain makes mountains out of mole hills and fabricates problems that’s aren’t there. Your attitude and demeanor push people away...when all you want is for them to be there.

I hate days like this...and the more you try to stop it,..the worse you feel.

Hopefully more sleep and a night of cuddles will bring back the brighter days tomorrow...

Until tomorrow...

Mean people...

I read a Facebook post today in a community forum where a lady posted asking for help with her rent. She stated that she was $250 short and wanted some help. She said she has a job and she would be willing to work for it...she then put up a picture of her 2 kids. Then the mob attacked...

The comments that followed were mostly hateful, non-helpful or scolding. There were a few people that tried to stop the bullying with no luck.

With as much discussion this days about stopping bullying...why do I feel like it’s worse. Why do people feel the need to type such hateful words in a public forum...when what the type would never come out of their mouths in person. Can you imagine the world where people actually spoke to each other they way they do online?!

It’s kind of like when you see someone standing with a sign asking for help...you either give them something or you don’t...you don’t stop and give them a lecture about you thoughts about it...why do they do it online? I mean...either help her or don’t. No need to state anything else....

And it’s the Christmas season...no need for all that!!

Until tomorrow...

Sweet music...

I’ve written before about how my memories are triggered through smell. How my sense of smell is very tuned in...all the time. I can smell things that others cannot sometimes...this is good and bad...lol....I still love that I have I heighten sense of smell.

Usually when one of your senses is better than others it means that the other senses have flaws. That’s definitely true in my case. My sight is horrible. I can’t see much without my contacts or glasses...and even then I still use readers most of the time!

Now my hearing is something else. I grew up in and out of the hospital for ear infections. Usually in the hospital at least 3x’s a year until I was 18. Lost count of how many tubes were placed in my ears. So my hearing was definitely damaged.  This has caused sensory hearing issues for me as well....too many sounds at once or loud sounds just make my brain hurt. I can’t do 2 people talking to me at once...I literally can’t distinguish the 2 at the same time.

Buy music is a different story. It works like my sense of smell. When music is on...I can think clear. I can’t heat better....and my memories are guided by music...so is my mood. I love to sing and immerse myself in where to music takes you and feel the lyrics. I’m a sing a long to good music person...all day long. Music is on while I’m in the shower in the morning and throughout the day with my ear buds. And the genre changes too...

Smells and vibes....those are my 2 senses! One hell of a mix! lol

Until tomorrow...

Unexpected Date Night...

Even though technically we really just went to dinner instead of cooking...I consider this as an unexpected presently spectacular date night.

What else can you consider and night out after work...drinking beer, enjoying food and having great conversation? I mean we hold hands all the time when we are together. We sit next to each other everywhere we go. I refuse to ever think that this is normal and don’t stop and appreciate every single thing we are to each other....and how even after over a year we are still goo-goo for each other...and how we still act like school kids in love. I will never take that for granted and will work hard to never let it go.

My Master is my everything. Our bond is something I don’t take lightly and never will. The importance of keeping our connection this strong always is my top priority...and nights like tonight are the little reminders to enjoy every single second.

Thank you Daddy.

Until tomorrow...

Acceptance...

So many memes I see talk about acceptance and accepting other people for the way they are. It could be for many different reasons...but for whatever reason we should all accept each other the way we are.

I agree with the concept whole heartily. But by accepting they way a person is or how they are doesn’t mean that I have to be apart of their lives. Sometimes accepting this is the beauty of it all.

I think for some there is an expectation of a relationship because of kin, time of friendship, where you both are from....whatever the connection is...there is an expectation of a relationship. Let’s take my Father for example...I haven’t spoken to him in over 20 years and just randomly before that. Just because he donated to my DNA doesn’t mean that I have to accept him in my world or allow him to affect me. I accept who he is and how he conducts his life...but that doesn’t mean I want to be apart of it...and he has to accept that.

Get it? Stop wondering why someone is the way they are...just accept it and then decide on whatever is best for you and your connection with that person. Sometimes it’s easier to approach it that way instead of trying to wrap your head around something you would never be or do.

Until tomorrow...

Masters Christmas

What would be a great gift for a Dom? I would like to here the ideas out there for gifts for your Dom...

I’m not talking about the gifts you get for your love or your partner....I already have those personal gifts. I would like to know what Don’s like from their Subs? Or what gifts Sub’s have gotten their Dom’s?

I’m curious as to what kind of gifts are out there that I’m totally unaware of and where you get them. This could include ideas for non material gifts...

I would like to do something unexpected and totally a surprise....even though my Master reads this blog...if I get enough reply’s it could at least get a lot of ideas and in the right direction...

Ready go...

Until tomorrow

Setting up for the Holidays...

Our house is so sweet and cozy right now! Smells of the season already all around. Our first Christmas in our own place couldn’t be anymore right!!

Our ornaments we have gotten together are up on the tree. Presents wrapped and waiting for the big day. Decorations galore creating a nice festive vibe. Candy dishes out inviting you to stay a bit longer!!

My favorite part of this is watching my Masters joy in all things that make this season his favorite. Listening to the music and dressing up for the snow. The way he loves it makes me love it even more!

I’m so excited to get to spend this entire season with him. Last year he was out working for 20 days of the month....so I’m looking forward to watching his face light up while looking at lights, watching Hallmark movies and snuggling in together on snow days.

Until tomorrow....

Upcoming Punishments...

Well I guess if you haven’t read my Sir’s blog....you should! I have been very bad this week...no gym time all week and 2 solid days of missing my daily requirements. This will mean punishment....

I could tell you all of my excuses...which for this week they are pretty good... but it doesn’t matter. There were never any “buts” listed in our contract so even if I feel they are good...they aren’t.

Either way I will be getting punished.  And after reading his responses from his blog I have been shocked at the level of punishment some believe is warranted for my actions! Wow.

We will have to wait and see what Daddy has in store for me...

Until tomorrow...

Frustration...

How do you act when you’re frustrated? To you act out, take it out on others, turn it all in, cry....or maybe you never get frustrated?

Me personally I’m pretty easy going...it takes quite a bit to get me frustrated to a measurable degree. When stakes are high I’m usually more at ease...I usually only get frustrated in situations that are unsolvable and it’s going to cause disappointment to others because of me. And in these rare situations I am a crier.

But for the most part my philosophy on things is “Is this a life or death situation? Probably not....so why get worked up about it?” I mean I say in my mind at least 1000 times a day “what an idiot” or “fuck you” or “biiiittccch” but that’s as far as it gets and then I’m over it because it really doesn’t matter. I can’t control anyone except myself.

So during this holiday season take a few extra seconds and just enjoy the moment....don’t let the stress of everything that comes with the holidays ruin the holidays for you. Sing the Christmas songs in the shower, but some stranger a coffee, look people in the eye and give a genuine smile, hold the door open for someone, push an extra cart back to the cart corral....and just enjoy the season. Don’t get frustrated....kiss more, love more, hug a little longer.

Until tomorrow...

Intimidation

I think there are some misconceptions about the Dom/Sub relationships that are of a negative nature from people that don’t understand it. A submissive allows, respects and invites the Dom the power they have over them...and a real Dom would never abuse that privilege. It’s all about trust and respect from both sides and open honest communication.

Because Master has patiently worked with me to build our relationship the right way and has put in the work to build up my trust in him...this has made me hyper aware of others actions. Specifically I notice other males interactions with other females.

I’ve seen all kinds of interactions. Flirty, dry, polite, dismissive, ignorant and intimidating. This last one is the one that bugs me the most...I like to be treated like a little bit not belittled. I will never be belittled.

I know that some kinksters like the degradation play....nay nay...not for me. But I see it all the time in the vanilla world...someone using intimidation to get what they want from another. It can be a very slight intimidation or full on in your face. I take real exception to it when I see that it is effecting that persons core. Where you can see that they are frozen with fear from the inside out.

Even though I am a submissive...I will not stand to watch others be consumed into a power that was not welcomed. The biggest lesson I have learned in my journey of my submissive to my Master is growing my own inner power. And when your inner power is strong...the Dom/Sub bond is even stronger because you both understand and respect eaches inner worth is the balance that holds you together.

This is why I like to build people up and help them see how to grow and build that power and respect for themselves....and to eventually be able to see that intimidation is a game people play when they don’t know how to win without cheating but when the game is yours and you set the rules and you get to pick the players....then you learn how to handle that shit!

Until tomorrow...