Firecracker Diaries - A combination of stories, random thoughts and an appreciation log of life with Daddy

Renaissance Days

We went on an outing today to Renaissance Days. Watching fire trick shows, jousting, etc. Looking at all the fun costumes and the interesting people wearing them!

This was the first time for both of us! We had our picture taken in fun costumes, ate fun food and enjoyed the beautiful weather...and then it started to storm! By the time we got back to our car...we were soaked!

So instead of going to dinner we opted to order some door dash as we drove home cold and wet. Lol.

I wish we could have stayed a bit longer!! The costumes and all the props really got my imagination going...I mean really!! What kind of kinky fun could we have with all those things!!! Dressed up as a fancy royal with nothing under the dress making master super turned on while he is wearing a knights suit!!! Oh my...my imagination is going wild!

Definitely must go again next year in costumes...

Until tomorrow...

Irrational fears...

Do you have those moments when something happens and it brings up a fear that is unfounded by the person or by the circumstances that your currently in?

I have moments with Daddy that fears arise due to something he says or an emotion he is having...and the fear that arises within me is a deep fear of disapproval or the fear of him leaving. Now he has never given me an kind of reason to believe that he would do this. He has never once given me any kind of hint that he would even have one foot out the door. This is all my head messing with me.

These fears frustrate and hurt my Daddy because he thinks I’m punishing him for others actions towards me. And that is not what I want...I never want to hurt him or make him frustrated. I struggle with my own demons on fears of rejection... And the thought of not being the absolute best at everything for him petrifies me.

I think some of it is a fear of losing the best thing that’s ever happened to me...due to my deep seeded belief that I’m not good enough. No matter how much I know and tell myself that I am worth it...during times of stress those thoughts still pop up...and I freeze.

Daddy talks me through it...but I know it frustrates him. I’m hoping that at some point this will stop...because it’s extremely frustrating for me too.

Until tomorrow...

Date Night

Daddy took me out tonight...and we got to remember how to be a kid. We went and saw Lion King...and enjoyed knowing all the words to the songs!

Sometimes it’s good to just be silly in love. You know the holding hands, giggling and acting like teenagers at the show.

The feelings it brings is pure happiness. No stress...no worries...just loving life and each other...

Then we came home and he surprises me with a new patio set on out patio that he had secretly set up before. When I tell you this man is amazing...he is...and he makes me feel loved every second of the day!!

Until tomorrow...

Opportunities...

Opportunity is a positive word. Even when you weren’t looking for it. Sometimes doors open all on there own...the question is ...do you want to walk through it?

I am about to walk through a door of opportunity that I really didn’t want and I’m having a hard time processing how to turn it into something I can be excited about. Everyone in my working world is super excited that they opened this door for me...but I’m just on the fence.

I know it will be better financially for me...but I’m at a very comfortable spot personally and really don’t want to disrupt that. I feel like I’m being shoved through this door...and being put into something that I know will be easy for me but really don’t want to do.

Just frustrating....but on the positive side Daddy is supportive for any and all decisions I make. I just have to see how this goes and decide what’s best for us.

Until tomorrow...

Daddy’s amazing love...

Through everything that we have been through I’m amazed at how Daddy continues to grow our love. No matter what is happening in our lives he takes the time to make sure that he focuses on me and our relationship.

I’m blessed with a man that doesn’t fight with me...he gets frustrated sometimes...but he always comes back and shows me just how much he loves me. He knows that I’m a very physical person and gives me that physical part of the relationship that I need. He loves on me when I need it the most and makes me feel beautiful even when I’m not even close.

This man makes me want to live life to the fullest and appreciate every single part of it. He has shown me more love than I ever deserved and more happiness than I ever knew existed.

I hope that someday I will be able to show him how much he really means to me...I mean I don’t know how I ever lived life without him...and certainly never want to experience anymore life without him in it. When I say he is amazing...I truly mean it...he brings light to the darkness and works hard to ensure my days are filled with rainbows.

Thank you Daddy for being you and giving me a real role model to look up to. And for making my days wonderful and my nights pure ecstasy!

Until tomorrow....

Goodbyes...

Saying goodbye is always hard. Especially when you have to say goodbye to little loves that don’t understand.

What an amazing weekend of fun and family. I’m so thankful for Daddy allowing this to happy and making it so wonderful for me. Especially holding me tight when I just needed to cry the goodbyes away.

I can’t wait to come back and spend more time with them.

Until tomorrow...

Little loves...

What an awesome day!!! All of my loves in the same place!! How could I ever want for more??

My love has now met most of my close family. Just missing a few cousins. We got to spend the day loving in my littles and celebrating. I feel complete now that my true love has been introduced to all the people that mean the most to me. It’s such an awesome feeling.

And watching him with my little loves just fills my heart. For me the feeling is something I can’t explain...when I see him making my little loves laugh and giggle...the happier it makes me. It’s like watching the love I feel for him come to life in front of my very eyes. It’s magical.

This is definitely one of the best moments for me.

Until tomorrow...

Travel Day...

It was a beautiful day of travel fun! All packed up in our small SUV and headed 9 hours south! We listened to music, took turns napping, laughed and took care of some work stuff.

Once we checked into our hotel...there was no time to rest! We met family and had an excellent dinner...then got to spend time with the family enjoying some much needed family time.

This man continues to amaze me as each day passes. As I was excited to get on the road and get to our destination...I forgot to do some of my daily tasks. Even though I know I will receive punishment for this he was understanding and kind. Even as I write this...he knows I’m exhausted and told me I could have a pass...but I don’t want to disappoint him any further.

Even though I may forget at time because the time slips away from me...especially when we are together...I never want him to think that I want to disobey my rules. I would never purposely want to disappoint him. I strive to be the best for him daily.

I will be better tomorrow and the rest of the trip. I’m looking forward to enjoying this weekend with him and family...and still being the best sub I can be for him.

Until tomorrow....

Precious time...

No matter how much time Master and I have spent together...it’s always more precious than the last. At least for me it is...

I cherish every single moment of time I get to spend with him. Whether it’s just an hour or multiple days...I can never get enough.

It’s very interesting to me how the longer I am with him...the more attached I become. I didn’t think that could be possible because I already feel like I want to melt myself into him...but I could just have more. It’s really a hard thing to describe....maybe it’s like a pet and their owner...just wanting to be with him every second.

I’m looking forward to our new journey of a changed life. It may not be what we were expecting...but we have each other and we are a strong team. With him as our captain...nothing can go wrong!

Until tomorrow...

New beginnings...

This day took an unexpected turn. This unexpected turn could be interpreted as a “bad” thing. The circumstances about how it happened and how those that it is effecting really sucks...but I choose to see this as a new beginning.

A new beginning to find better things. New beginnings to find things that are more conducive to how we want to live our lives. A chance for embracing the fact that we have found our partner in life...and love all the changes that life throws at us...laughing and loving our way through it!

I want to see the positive in every situation. And sometimes it’s hard to see...but in the end I believe that everything has a greater cause...even though we might not know it now...in the future we will be so glad for what this change is going to do for us.

The rain has fallen. The storm has past. Enjoy the smell of the freshly washed earth...and smile at the sky and wait for the rainbow.

Until tomorrow...