Firecracker Diaries - A combination of stories, random thoughts and an appreciation log of life with Daddy

Back on track...

Well after a horrible Monday...at least Tuesday was tolerable. No drama today...thank God!!

I was able to spend time with his family this evening. He invited them over for dinner and we had a lovely evening. I had been extremely nervous about some of his family accepting me...as I am an extremely hard person to get to know...and I have the problem of RBF (resting bitch face)...so everyone thinks I’m mad all the time when they don’t know me.

It has actually been just fine. No issues EVER with anyone. Again...I make scenarios up in my mind before I even have a reason to...but everyone has been extremely nice and makes me feel right at home.

Hopefully Daddy sees that I want everyone to be happy...especially him. I want him to know how important everything about his life is  important to me as well.

And as a side note...I tried honey on my coffee today!!! Holy smokes is that good...I think I’m converting! Lol

Until tomorrow...

Monday Madness...

Woke up from a wonderful session with Daddy...slept like a freakin princess!! But then Monday took all of her vengeance out on us...

Busted back window in the SUV...looks like someone thought it would be cute to throw a rock through it. So early morning visit from the police. Then through the stress of the moment Daddy and I had a disagreement....so off to work I went through tears and smeared makeup.

Normal horrible Monday at the office...all the while I can’t think straight due to the events of the morning and my paranoid mind going overtime. Just trying to not make every single second that Daddy is giving me the silent treatment feel like an eternity.

Finally by lunch time I feel like he doesn’t hate me...and I might not have a panic attack...Daddy is speaking to me again...but it’s still uncomfortable.

Then move to a new location after lunch to learn something new...work with some new people...and feel totally out of sorts and not in my comfortable place...still feeling extremely unnerved about making Daddy frustrated...worried I can’t make it better.

Finally able to come home. Daddy is making dinner and we are talking it out. Just as everything is getting better...boom...we are running to the ER to get Daddy stitches after sharpening a chopping knife.

We come home and I get to finish dinner...and I’m not a good cook. Somehow the Monday Gods took pity on me and let me not fuck it up...so we could at least have a decent dinner.

I’m thankful that I will get to hold him tonight...and that this damn day is over. We are fine...I need to learn to communicate better...and check myself about my ultra sensitive feelings....Daddy is ok and all is better as we will hold each other tight and tell each other we love each other and sleep off this shitty day....

Tuesday has to be better...

Until tomorrow...

Dreams...

Have you ever had a dream and you wake up questioning what that was all about?? I do this pretty regular!!

Sometimes I don’t remember my dreams...mostly I remember that I was dreaming but I can’t really remember what it was about or can organize what I remember to make much sense of it...but I sometimes remember most of it and it just leaves me questioning where it came from.

I love to have kinky dreams...but I usually have them mixed with parts of shoes or movies that I recently have seen. For example...having a wild sexual encounter while being in the movie Gone in 60 Seconds! lol

My dreams lately have consisted of being hot and having wrong clothes on. I’ve also had dreams as of late that consisted of almost making love with my Master but then he stops and just leaves...nightmares!!

But on the nights he gives me a good hardcore session...I don’t dream at all!!! Sleep is all that occurs on those nights...lol

Here’s to dreaming...until tomorrow.

Need...

I’m one of those people that need to be wanted. I have realized this over time. I like to be needed...and I love to be wanted.

The desire to have someone want you is strong. It often makes me wonder if I’m the only one that feels this way...I mean as much as I can be independent and strong... I want someone to want me so much that they feel it in their soul.

This can cause a lot of mental strain on yourself when you are one of these people. You wonder if the person you want to want you like that actually does. You stress about whether you are doing what it takes to get them to want you like that...or you completely shut down because you think they don’t.

It’s a wonderful and horrible thing all rolled into one. Maybe it’s just extremely selfish and self destructive...maybe it’s part of the submissive personality. Either way...it’s a thing for sure.

Until tomorrow....

Sore...

It still amazes me that after all this time he can still make me sore. I always thought that after enough time together or enough sessions that your body would start to adjust. Every single time I feel like I have shrunk back up and he is entering me for the first time again.

After last nights session I am exceptionally sore. But you see...I love to be sore and marked. Between scratches, bite marks and light bruising...I’m so weird that I love to look at them. They get the juices flowing all over again!!!

I think I might even be a bit swollen! My Daddy loves to have his tongue on my clit...and last night was no exception...but he did show me he was a little hungrier than usual. He had me squirming all over the bed...and all over his face!!

I love it and it just makes me want more...I can’t help it...he is so good at what he does!

Mmm mmmmmmm. Mmmmm. We will see how much more he will give me...and how much more he will push my body.

Until tomorrow...

Maximize The Time...

Speaking from experience I know how precious time is...especially when you are referring to the ones you love. You need to make the most out of every moment you have with them.

You don’t always have to be together...even though that’s wonderful when you are...but you should be present and in the moment with them when you are. This goes for everyone that means something to you.

As for your partner...you should maximize and squeeze every once of love into every second you are together. You are each other’s partner in life...you should be making it very well known each and everyday that you are there for each other, you support each other, you want them, and you love them. You should kiss and have make out sessions often. You should make sex part of your normal day. You should always do your best to make your partner feel as sexy as they are.

Just take a moment and check yourself and make sure you are doing these things...and don’t forget to tell your partner what you need in return. If your partner does these things...then thank them and let them know just how much it means to you.

Love...and love some more. We only have one life....maximize it!

Until tomorrow...

Blindfolded...

So last night was an impromptu session that included me being blindfolded. This was a first for me...and I have to say it was awesome!

When I say first... he did blindfold me one other time briefly...but this time he started everything with the blindfold on. Throughout our session the blindfold stayed on.

He started with touching and rubbing my body. Teasing me with his cock, fingers and tongue. Switching back and forth. Pushing me to enjoy and also participate in my own pleasure. Talking to me and telling me what he wants. I have to focus on his touch and his voice...because I can’t connect with his face. I also can just soak in more of the pleasure....as my main sense is hindered.

I’m sure I moaned loudly as I enjoyed long orgasms over and over as he said sucked and massaged my clit with his tongue. Then when he took me...he took me hard and deep...letting me hear his pleasure which drives me wild!!!

The blindfold is now in the bedside table...for easy access!

Until tomorrow...

More time...

Isn’t it what we all wish for....more time? More time to be with the ones we love. More time to do what we love. More time to just be right where we are feeling is right where we need to be at that moment.

I want to stay in bed with Daddy in the mornings. I want to be able to enjoy the little dimples in the curve of his back. The smell of his neck and the feel of his breath on mine.

It’s the little things that I can’t get enough of. These things that are mine...those precious little things that make me smile when no one was trying to make me smile.

I need more time in the day to enjoy those things and my Daddy. We all should be able to sign up for something somewhere that says we are exactly where we want to be in life and then just be able to be there and enjoy it...and all the things that we have lived through, worked for and endured will pay for it the rest of our lives...

Until tomorrow...

Daddy’s Student...

Daddy got me some golf clubs and took me golfing tonight.  We have been golfing before... but this time was different. We were two lovers enjoying the evening...and I enjoyed learning from him something I think I could really learn to love.

He took his time teaching me the techniques. He is very patient and kind ...teaching me all about something I knew nothing about. He answered all of my questions and corrected me gently throughout the night. We laughed and had a really great time.

I love that he wants to do things we me and is not only teaching me the game...but he is teaching me how to love life with the one I love. Teaching me what love is supposed to look like...teaching me what a real man is all about when he loves a woman. Teaching me that love is more than words and more than physical...love is living your best life and getting to enjoy it with the person that loves you.

It’s so much more than just the things he does for me. It’s the way he lifts me up and celebrates every moment we have together. I appreciate the fact that he loves to show me just how wonderful the simple things in life are.

He teaches me daily just how important it is to enjoy every moment. I love him more everyday...and I’m so thankful for him...he is so much more than I could have ever dreamed or hoped for...and far more than I deserve...

Until tomorrow...

Sunday’s

I love Sunday...it’s the day we sleep in late and make brunch and just take our time doing anything we want.

It’s the day of the week that I can just enjoy being with him. Whatever we do it’s together.

We got to spend lots of time just snuggled up on the couch watching our shows. We did get out to get some groceries...which is still awesome because Daddy holds my hand and has fun with me all throughout the store.

As a lay here writing this a heavy sigh is rolling through my body as I have to go back to work tomorrow...and I really just want to repeat Sunday every day.

Until tomorrow...